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BPO Growl & Howl Forum => Groans, Gripes, Brags & Boasts => : Newly Newfed January 19, 2008, 12:26:53 PM
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OK. I'm sick of this crap. I'm unbelievably stressed about this whole worrying about Sierra getting pregnant and to be honest I'm in a pretty foul mood this morning just thinking about other things. I am not the person you want to be around today. I'll be the first to admit that I am a miserable bi*** when I get in this mood. Oh, my poor family today. Please, PLEASE just do what your supposed to today and everything will be fine.
I wasn't going to get Sierra spayed because I was still kicking around the idea of showing her...just in small local shows or even just some match shows. I honestly don't think she is of show quality (conformation) but Jeff knows how much I want to show dogs and we talked about maybe using her as a "practice" dog to reaccquaint myself with the show world and that way I can make mistakes and learn from them, before we invest a lot of money in another puppy from a more proven lineage. She may not ever place, and the judges might think I'm nuts entering her, but that's ok. At least I won't be making mistakes with a more expensive dog and she'll have something to do. But I've decided I'm spaying her ASAP. I'm not going through this again. As for the showing, I've been meeting some breeders through the my county dog training club and also through the regional Newf club. I'm a member of both and may be I can strike a deal with them: Teach me what you know about newfs and showing, and I can volunteer to help at your kennels in return. Heck I clean up after my dogs now, I may as well do it and get something in return for it.
I got up to take Sierra out this morning and there were little piles of poop scattered around and and about six different wet spots - small ones though. I can't remember th last time she peed or pooped small, and she hasn't gone in the house in about eight months. So after only 5 hours of sleep I get to clean this crap up. Literally. So I clean the floors up and take her outside. She's been starting this thing where, when she pees, she squats there for a long time. This morning, after she gets up I notice that it looks like her urine might have blood in it. Just wonderful! That can't be good. So I stand out there in the freezing cold at 6:30 am waiting for her to poop, which of course she doesn't do, because, DUH!, she already did that in the house. She squats to pee a few more times and nothing happens except the last time a little bit comes out. Since then she has whined to go out about every 15 minutes and she pees every time I take her out. Hmmm, bladder infection? Her pee looks normal so far except for the first one this morning, but if you guys know anything about me it's that I worry. I can't help it, it's what I do best. Oh and I almost forgot the best part - then she threw up. At that point I was so frustrated I just sat down on the stairs and cried as I watched her throw up again. So by 7:30 am, before my eyes are even fully open, I had the pleasure of cleaning up evey disgusting thing that can be spewed from my sweet girl's body. Now she is just walking around the house whining. Wonder what that's all about?
As I write this I'm wondering if this venting is helping or not, because it is just bringing up so many other things. Katie has a cheer competition today that I really wanted to go to. Well, I probably can't. Not only because of the dog, but also because the house looks like a tornado went through it and I may as well use the alone time to get things in order, because God forbid anyone else in the house lift a freaking finger. I'm going to end up doing it all myself anyway, so why bother aggravating myself more by trying to get the others to help. Well, now Katie is upset because I'm not going to her competition. Now any of you who may have daughters on a competition cheer squad know these things are all day events. And I love going to see them. Katie is REALLY GOOD. She competes almost every weekend for about 8 months and this is the first one I am missing in two years. So she's upset with me. Yet her mother has never gone to one of them yet and Katie puts her a on a pedestal. I can't understand how Katie doesn't get mad at her. She doesn't even have a good reason to miss these competitions. She admits to Katie the only reason she's not going is either because she "doesn't feel like it" or she doesn't want to go because I'll be there. Is this woman for real? She honestly thinks that is an acceptable excuse to hurt your daughter yet again? These events are HUGE and there are like 400 people there. She can't avoid me in a crowd that size? Then again, she also missed Kelsey's first ever cheer competition because I was there. I wasn't even in the spectator stands because I was squad's coach and had to stay with the girls. Her mother wouldn't even have seen me! Selfish B****! Sorry I have REAL REAL bad issues with Jeff's ex. She goes out of her way to do everything in her power to make my life miserable. I don't use the word "hate" very often when I'm referring to other people, but I really hate her. I really do and it's hard sometimes trying to keep my feelings to myself in front of the girls. I could go on forever about the things she has done to Jeff, the kids and me. I really wish there was some way she would just disappear from our lives forever, with no ill effects on the kids.
Ok. I think I'm done. I'm sorry this was so long and jumping from one thing to the next. I needed to get it out. I'm not looking forward to today and I just wish I could go back to bed, wake up tomorrow and have a better day. But of course I can't. I have to stay up to take my dog out every 15 minutes while everyone else gets to sleep late. And then thye wonder why I'm going to be in a bad mood all day. Umm, maybe the combination of no sleep, stress, worry, frustration and PMS could have something to do with it. But I have to go now and take my dog out. Gee, feels like I just did that...
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Well, I can attest to the fact that Stepmom Stuff can seriously stress you out. My stepson's mom used to make our lives a living h*ll with her petty, vicious alcoholic games. I know just what you mean about trying not to let your feelings show in front of the kids....it's really hard! Thankfully, my stepson has very to do with his mother anymore....whe n he was 13 the family courts gave him the right to decide if he wanted visitation (based on her drinking and erratic, highly dysfunctional behavior) and he has not seen her since. He's only talked to her on the phone a handful of times in more than 3 years. I know it has to be hard for him in some ways, but for the most part he is a much happier kid without her in his life.
Hope your day gets better!
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::hugs:: I have to remind my mother that a house that looks like a tornado went through means it's lived in and loved. Somethings you'll never have a do over in. A dirty house is something that you can do whenever. It drives my mom crazy to have her house be a disaster but all our friends say "It's cleaner than my house and who cares? It's your home!" I know it's a pride thing to have a clean house but tell her you'll go if she'll help you clean up after/tomorrow. Mom will take one room and I'll take another. 2000 sq ft gets cleaned a little quicker that way and we both get what we want.
I hope you baby feels better though and nothing too serious to worry about! :-* :-* Jager has days like that but he's just being a butt when I'm trying to watch TV or get something done.
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Wow - Tough day. I understand on so many levels other than the ex-wife/step child.
My house is usually in tornado status. Lately though has been better. Kids and hubby are really helping.
For some unknown reason all of the dogs decided that at 3:05 they wanted to get up. I finally gave in and let them out. Restarted the fire in the front room. Did some things around the house and then had to go outside in 20 degree wether to chase Bella and Tug down and drag them back into the house. They are now going over the fence. I then took some cold medicine and was trying to get to sleep when Bella decided to start going thru the husbands suitcase . Since he is only home a couple of days a week- it doesnt get totally unpacked. Then Casey decided to chew on an old shoe that she has claimed as hers, right beside the bed. I finally got back to sleep as the husband was getting up for the morning- I told him that to let me sleep 30 more minutes and I would then clean the puppy room.
He was sweet, I woke up to him and my son cleaning the puppy room. Probably because of the sounds that they were making as they were gagging over ecky papers but they were trying to help.
We now have to start running the hot wire on the fence today and we are in the middle of cutting and splitting more firewood as the remainder of this week is going to be even colder and wet.
It would be so nice if Jeff and the kids would help more, but if they dont, dont stress. In a few years you are not going to remember what it was that needed to be cleaned but you are going to remember the time spent with the family. Hopefully Sierra doesnt have a bladder infection. Give her a hug. She sounds as if she isnt feeling too well.
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I am so sorry that your day totally sucks. It sounds like your girl may have a urinary tract infection. Max has one right now. That would explain the frequent urination and the upset stomach, creating the piles and vomit. As far as your daughter, I would probably go and find out when she is on. I would make sure I was there for her and then leave to get the things done, you need to and also for some quiet time to relax. Asking for her help to clean is a fantastic solution to her being upset with you. Maybe she can take specific tasks to do during the week on an ongoing basis to lighten the load for you and to give her a sense of accomplishment and responsibility, separate from her cheering. Please don't make the decision to spay or not spay your girl, based on what happened today. It only happens once every six months and is worth putting up with in the long run. The heats were much easier for me to deal with than having to give hormone pills to control urinary incontinence forever. At least that is how I felt about it. Good luck and I hope your day gets better.
Kathy
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Thank you for the pep talks. Everbody has left and it's just me and the pup. Ahh...nice and quiet...I'm starting to feel better. As much as I love my family, sometimes I just want them to go away for a few hours. That feeling is very rare, but today just happens to be one of those times. Sierra is sleeping peacefully, so I'm just going to go cuddle with my cat, take a nap and then get cleaning on the house. Jeff got up right as I was finishing my post and asked what I was doing. I said I was venting on BPO and he made the mistake of asking "what about?" I just burst into tears and the poor guy had this look on his face like "uh oh. What did I say?"
Anyway, he got the girls up and had them start cleaning up. Katie's trick is that she jumps in the shower before anything else so that at least an hour's worth of work is done before she comes out of her bedroom and she has less to do. Kelsey's trick is that she keeps moving around so it looks like she's doing something, but nothing actually gets done. So neither girl really did anything and Jeff and I were too busy trying to un-clog the vacuum to notice until they left.
Like Kathy suggested, the girls actually do have a chore list. We made it up together so we all agreed it was fair. It's just getting them to do their chores is a daily struggle. I know they are teenagers and I know this comes with the territory, but it still drives me batty. And that is really my only complaint about the girls...they are wonderful kids, they don't get into trouble with their friends, but they are lazy. Getting them to fold a load of laundry is like pulling teeth. I generally don't ask Jeff for help around the house. He takes care of everything outside without asking for much help, and he does it one-armed because his other arm is paralyzed. I hate helping outside (spiders are out there ya know :D), and he doesn't ask unless it's something he really can't do himself, so as far as I'm concerned he can sit on his butt when he's in the house. Our house isn't so big that me and the girls can't keep it clean.
Thanks again, everybody. I just had a really bad morning and I appreciate you taking the time to offer some kind words and empathy.
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And then I look over to the loud snoring sound and see this:
(http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff261/NewlyNewfed/DSCN3561.jpg)
And I instantly smile and can't help but feel better. ;)
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Awww. I'm sorry you had a cruddy day, but glad that it all worked out in the end. And who better to help cheer you up but the big fluff butt herself? ;) :D
I hope tomorrow goes 100 times better then today did. :)
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Hope its all better now! Tornado central is our home-we get one clean 2 hours per week (that was today) and then out come the shoes(counting 4 pair right now), softies, kibble in the livingroom, couch cushions on the floor, every tv on in the house, both sides of the sink full and an empty dishwasher right beside them, newspaper all over the dining room table, 3 baskets of clean folded clothes (hubby's job), wet towels on bathroom floor, matchbox cars and thomas trains on the floor, trash overflowing because someone tried shoving 2 lg pizza boxes in the small can, tatertot pan from lunch sitting on stove, the kids sheets on the floor on top of 2 days worth of clothing, poo in the toilet (my 5yo's trick) with the lid up meaning another male peed after my 5 yo went and still didn't flush, 8 books laying on their floor...next to their book shelf, several new slingers (thought I got em all yesterday!) and one 200pc set of llegos (the super tiny set) spread out on the floor. And I sit back and breathe because it is all simply clutter and will be picked up before bed by everyone and I'll have plenty of time to have a museum when i'm old and my kids no longer stress my world. But now, a tornado means love and living and happy.... :)
Don't fret too much about the step mom comparison thing. That's why they are the 'exes' and we are the 'real' wife! My stepdaughter is an angel but she is loyal to mom-who is super controlling (tries to but we usually deflate her bubble) of everyone, specifically how we should live. She tries to superimpose her religious beliefs upon us and yet her husband recently committed suicide because she is sooooo crazy! Be happy they are the EXES!!!
Our springer had a severe kidney infection..... .she would squat and maybe pee a little and at times, there was blood. They gave her some antibiotics-that was 8 years ago or so. Hopefully your baby is ok!!!
We all have our bad days so hang in there . I think its soooo cooool you have a place to vent! ;)
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Thank goodness for BPO and venting eh? I can relate on the stepmom side of things, and know that Anna Banana and Sheba hugs and drools are awesome therapy for those kind of days.
We went through several heats with Anna and pooping/peeing were par for the course there. Hope both of you are feeling better soon!
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Hope its all better now! Tornado central is our home-we get one clean 2 hours per week (that was today) and then out come the shoes(counting 4 pair right now), softies, kibble in the livingroom, couch cushions on the floor, every tv on in the house, both sides of the sink full and an empty dishwasher right beside them, newspaper all over the dining room table, 3 baskets of clean folded clothes (hubby's job), wet towels on bathroom floor, matchbox cars and thomas trains on the floor, trash overflowing because someone tried shoving 2 lg pizza boxes in the small can, tatertot pan from lunch sitting on stove, the kids sheets on the floor on top of 2 days worth of clothing, poo in the toilet (my 5yo's trick) with the lid up meaning another male peed after my 5 yo went and still didn't flush, 8 books laying on their floor...next to their book shelf, several new slingers (thought I got em all yesterday!) and one 200pc set of llegos (the super tiny set) spread out on the floor. And I sit back and breathe because it is all simply clutter and will be picked up before bed by everyone and I'll have plenty of time to have a museum when i'm old and my kids no longer stress my world. But now, a tornado means love and living and happy.... :)
Do you have a webcam into my house? LOL!
Don't fret too much about the step mom comparison thing. That's why they are the 'exes' and we are the 'real' wife! My stepdaughter is an angel but she is loyal to mom-who is super controlling (tries to but we usually deflate her bubble) of everyone, specifically how we should live. She tries to superimpose her religious beliefs upon us and yet her husband recently committed suicide because she is sooooo crazy! Be happy they are the EXES!!!
Yes, Jeff's ex is very controlling too. To the point where she has told the girls that they cannot get their hair cut unless she says it's ok and is there to make the decisions. She has told them that changing their hair is not their decision to make and their hair belongs to her until they are 21. She's ridiculous. When she was married to Jeff she told him what movies he was allowed to watch and what he wasn't allowed to watch. He put up with her far longer than he wanted to because he didn't want his kids to shuffle back and forth between homes. Turns out they don't have to. When she cheated on him and moved out, she told him to keep the kids. She didn't want them.
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Big fluff butt! Alex, I love that!!! :D :D :D
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Do I what I do, the more control she TRIES to exert, the more we have fun! haircuts, movies, ears pierced. I told my stepdaughter that we would take her to get her belly pierced at 16 if she wanted it.....her mom is opposed to everything. I know that their divorce decree gives them equal rights to make whatever decisions they want within legal limits while in eaches custody. We took her to a celebration of live party and her mother flipped! W just smiled and said....isn't your choice so get over yourself. ooooo' she gets pissed but we don't care. :)
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Like Kathy suggested, the girls actually do have a chore list. We made it up together so we all agreed it was fair. It's just getting them to do their chores is a daily struggle. I know they are teenagers and I know this comes with the territory, but it still drives me batty.
Oh, we have parallel lives! I could have written that paragraph about my stepson! And it drives me more than batty sometimes....i t makes me downright angry. I have really come to think that I am just not cut out to deal with teenagers. I don't have much patience for laziness, dishonesty, and sullen attitudes....t raits that they seem to posess in spades! Sometimes I wonder how my parents kept from smothering me in my sleep when I was 16....lol...
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another reason why (although I love my children) dogs are easier! ;) I'm so lucky, my kids (even the teens) are pretty good....I mean, we have our moods and our 'teenage timeframe' issues but mine get immediate consequences. When my son 'forgets' his chores and I see it, I say, ok....zack, chores. I pull the austin powers minime thing 'zip...zip it' if there is argument...but there usually isn't (maybe a sigh). My favorite saying is.....sucks that you guys get to sit in total silence until we work as a family to get it done. Pulling a gaming system from teen boy or cell phonevfrom my step daughter has worked for us. When your work is done you can have it back. We've actually prevented my daughter from going to an event and shhe was devastated but oddly, she survived...lol .
Now, the 5 yo is a different story!! He hits the door like a cat. 5 hurricane and requires extensive monitoring and consequences (ie...work and training) but he is improving greatly!
Raising teens is like nailing jello to a tree!
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Karateblossom, the only problem with doing things our way and telling her to get over herself is that she knows she can't do anything about our decisions, but she will take it out on the kids. She'll treat them like crap - yell at them, give them guilt trips, tell them how disappointd she is in them, start crying and saying that they love us more than her... She'll tell them it's their fault she's upset because they should have known better than to ask their dad when they know how she feels about it, or that they should have flat out refused to do what Jeff and I wanted because they know she would disagree with it. That's how she tries to control us. Because she knows we don't want the kids to have to go through that. She doesn't love those kids, they're just another tool for her to use to get her way. She's in a for a rude awakening. She has no idea, but Jeff and I are considering either having her visitation supended, so she doesn't see them at all, or at least having it supervised. I hate the thought of how the kids are going to feel now that it is coming to this, but they're mental health and well-being is our first priority. She is doing more damage to them than anything else. Jeff and I don't feel it's right that we need to pick up the pieces when they come home upset every time they see their mother. To tell you how bad she is, two of her brothers have cut her out of their lives because of the way she treats Jeff me and the kids and the one brother even told her he doesn't consider her a mother and that I'm more of a mother to the kids than she ever was.
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ahhhh, thats so sad! I mean, Julie (my husbands ex) gets pissed but we really just deflate her sails. Its sad sad sad that jeff's ex is mean to the kids wit the guilt. I am so sorry u have to deal with that. Those kids are in your life for obvious reasons then....and no matter how frustrating, YOU are gonna be the rewarded one-not the one whonruns guilt trips and created tears in those children. Sounds like suspension of visitation isnt off the wall! ;) Hang in there and like i said, regardless of their reaction, you are doing good. Thats probably why she got so upset at you for not going....SHE NEEDS AND VALUES YOUR presence, her mother is just another acquaintance! How lucky you are to have that control! ROCK ON !
nikki
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What consequences have you given your kids for noncompletion of their chores? A time limit with a consequence is what they will face in the real adult world, and as parents, you owe it to the kids to prepare them to be successful. Practice saying that until you can say it to the kids without laughing. :)
Random objects left on the floor are a safety issue. At one point, I guess her girls were maybe 9 and 7, and she told them on a Friday that they were going to practice fire safety and that if it was necessary for them to get out of their bedrooms fast, the mess on the floor could make them fall and not get out as fast. She said that anything left on their bedroom floors after they went to bed would now be considered trash and Mom would remove it for their own good.
After they went to bed, my sis went in their rooms with a laundry basket and took every single thing on the floor out that was not furniture or their slippers and locked it in the trunk of her car. She got several toys, their shared Game Boy and some games, and one girl's finished homework. The next night she got one girl's school shoes and sent her to school in old ratty sneakers. They got the important things back at Christmas; luckily for the kids that was only 2 weeks away.
Another thing she did was to not allow them to have friends over or leave the house unless their rooms were spotless. Her oldest girl, now a drum major and concertmistres s of an orchestra, missed one rehearsal and got it.
Best of luck with yours. If they were mine I'd so go for supervised visitation.
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NN - my stepson's mom pulled that same kind of crap. She took her guilt trips so far that she threatened suicide a few times, and twice she lied to him and told him she had cancer so he'd "better love her more while he still could!!" (she claimed ovarian cancer and lip cancer....both of which miraculously cleared up with no medical intervention.. ..what an idiot...).
It used to be almost impossible to challenge a biological mother's rights, but the family courts are changing. Our custody battle was a rather amazing example of this. We were given Emergency Temporary Custody of my SS after he told us about his mother driving him around while drunk...all we did was call our attorney, they contacted the courts, and 4 days later we had the order. It was VERY stressful....w e had to pick him up for our regular mid-week evening visit like everything was normal but we all knew he was not going back to his mom (not easy for an 11 year old to pull off)....then the courts served her with the change of custody papers after we left. She was drunk when they did and tried to attack the process server (which he later testified about...didn't help her case!).
We went to court a few days later, and the judge upheld the change of custody until both my husband and his ex had alcohol evaluations and my stepson could talk to his Guardian ad Litem (an attorney who specifically represents the child...most states appoint them) and he could hear from character witnesses and make the best decision. This dragged on for a couple months, and it was tough. She had visitation, and seemed to use it to mentally abuse her son as much as possible. He got to the point that he didn't want to go see her at all. She called our house and screamed and ranted and raved....I still have many voicemail recordings of her drunken threats. She constantly called her attorney with lies about us. She even called the cops at 2 a.m. and had them come check on my SS because she claimed she thought we had killed him....I was furious, I refused to wake him up and let them into his room to see him sleeping but told them if he woke up and saw them in his room it would terrify him and I would sue the whole department (like I said, nerves were frayed, lol).
In the end, we were granted custody based on the many lies she told that we exposed and the testimony of my stepson (who thankfully was allowed to speak to the judge alone instead of in open court in front of his mother). She was granted visitation.... but continued to act like a psycho and less than a year later were back in court to have her visitation suspended or supervised. The judge allowed my stepson to decide whether or not he saw his mom. He was not quite 13 when the court gave him this power....somet hing that would have been unheard of 15 years ago, but like I said the courts are changing.
Sorry to hijack this thread, but I wanted to share our experience with you. If you do go to court, you must be prepared for a very ugly fight. You must be prepared to be your own private detective and track down every lie she tells. This is where intense dislike for her really comes in handy, lol. I was a dog with a bone about it. She lied to the courts and said we were interferring with her telephone visitation.... I got our phone records to show that she was lying. She claimed she never threatened us....I produced the voicemail recordings of it. To say that she hates my guts would be a major understatement . And to this day, if something happened to our home or our animals, I would immediately think she did it. But my stepson is much better off, so it was worth all the stress and frustration and sleepless nights. Good luck to you!
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lola - they do get grounded. I don't keep Katie away from her cheer practices though. If she missses one without a doctor's note, she is off the squad. I don't want to do that to her just v=because she didn't do one load of dishes. I take away other things. Going to friend's houses, friends coming over, etc. The most effective thing I've found it to take away the computer from Katie - heaven forbid she can't go on MySpace - and the tv from Kelsey - no Hannah Montana? That's torture! And she's not allowed to DVR it either. Jeff made the mistake of becoming too lenient on the kids when his ex left. It was very ugly, with her threatening suicide in front of the kids and Jeff and her getting into terrible fights. And he was dealing with his own issues about what she did to him. Unfortunately, he never started cracking down on them again after all was said and done. It was so far that I threatened grounding to Kelsey and she said "We never get grounded" and continued to ignore me! I said that was before I came and she was grounded. Boy was she mad! Of course first thing she did was call her mother and cry to her. Her mother called Jeff and started screaming that I have no right to punish her children and I am nothing more than a nanny. Well, she was on speakerphone and that's when I said "If you were actually being a mother to them, they wouldn't need a nanny!" She then got mad I heard what she said, called Me "Miss Immaturity", told him she will tell the kids that they do not need to listen to anything I say, and hung up on Jeff.
shine - I'm so sorry your step-son had to go through that ordeal. Thank God he is with you now and has had a stable, caring environment that he'll be able to thrive in. I have been keeping record of all the things she has said and done that I think is over the edge, like when she told the doctor was not allowed to bring them in for medical attention. DUH! There was one time that Jeff and my step-son were arguing with her (My step-son let her have it!). At one point she started crying and begging Jeff not to take her kids away from her. Now she's the type to bluff her way through everything so this worries me. I think she believes we know about something that happened when they were with her. Something that will prompt a judge to take them away from her. I can't help but wonder. Jeff and I also don't trust her fiance. I think he's such a sleaze and he makes my hair stand on end. He's 18 yrs older than her and he has the morals of a slug because he started pursuing her while Jeff was in a coma after his accident, so he knew she was married. Not that it stopped her from reciprocating. She mentioned that the girls are never alone with him. Which also makes Jeff and I worry why she won't leave the girls alone with the man she's marrying. Jeff saw him pat Katie on the butt once. I thought Jeff was going to kill him. We have our suspicions but both girls have said nothing ever happened and we have nothing to go on.
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I've got no advice here, but I just wanted to say...
BRAVO!!!!!!
To all you Moms & StepMoms (and Dads/StepDads too :)) that care about what is in the best interest of the child and do whatever it takes to make sure that is upheld.
I've seen it go down so many times the other way around.
I am have the utmost respect for all of you. :)
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thank you swissy! We laugh a lot because my stepdaughter is redheaded (you know, treat her like red headed step child) but she is such an angel...and my boys, well, there wings are bent but I still love them. Those kids are our future and i'll be damned before I fail to raise my children in an an environment lacking self-esteem, respect and discipline. I quit work so I could be with my children....an d I love being mom. my step daughter is my REAL daughter and I don't see any step about it! ;)
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Tina, I love that show! I don't know how people can live like that!!!
Nikki - I feel the same way about Jeff's kids. He doesn't want any more kids, so his kids are all I'm ever going to have. Whether I gave birth to them or not, I'm the one who is raising them with Jeff, so I get to be a mom after all (without the stretch marks or contractions :D) and I'm loving every minute of it.
Swissy - Thank you!! I am really trying to be a good influence on them. Before I met Jeff I had a cat. Period. And now I am suddenly thrown into the parent role for three teenagers, well two teens and an 11 year old who is already acting like a teenager. It's only been two years, I'm still a rookie. I will be for a LONG time I think! LOL!
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Oh, yea-LONG time is an understatement, newf! 8 years for me and we JUST started making headway in our battle with his psycho ex. LOL. My stepdaughter is 11 so we have 7 years of of dealing with psycho. We pay her $1000/mo for one child in child support.....Sh e makes $60k/year, until her husband killed himself, he brought in about $90K/yr....plus retirement benefits. When he died, my stepdaughter gets another $1K/mo and the ex gets a military retirement check plus healthcare plus a life insurance payment......a nd she has a maide, 3 plasma tv's, 3 high dollar vehicles!
My point-ONLY 7 years to go with those support payments and then we can totally look at ex and just say......NOW you have no say so!
But....you aren't gonna pay for college? h*ll no, we gave you $12k a year for support for 15 years (and the child never stayed in daycare).....hoped you saved some of it or else she will have to go through college like the rest of us! ;)
7 short years!
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Have you checked the registered sex offender database for that fiance? I'd also get a detective on him ASAP and see if you can find anything bad on him to tell the judge.
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yea lola, good advice. Safety for those babies!
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I check the databases on a regular basis :o)