I'm fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gerty647]

Ok,I need help with a difficult family member,My Father.
He has ALWAYS been a crappy father(very critical),The only reason I still have contact with him is out of guilt.
Well now he's pushing me to my limit!!!!He came for a visit and saw the new dog and the lecture began,He's always been a dog hater and he see's no use for animals especially in the house,I care about his approval I just want him to keep his opinions to himself.I don't know why he's so shocked I'm in school for vet assisting/vet tech.I try not to say to much because I don't want a fight in front of my kids,
But I may have to ask him to stay away until he can learn some self control.
Thanks for letting me vent,
Any advice would be appreciated!
Jackie

[morph's mom]

Welcome to my world...  It sucks and there isnt much that you can do.  I am in almost the exact same situation as you....  Grown, have my own family, and my own life.  But dad has to always be in control.  So to make short story really long..  We moved from the house that we put on his property because he hated the dogs, to a rental in another town, and he is not welcome here. 

I finally came to the decision that MINE and MY families happiness was more important than HIS.  If he wants to be a Hateful, miserable old man then that is fine but he will not do it around me or my family.  And by family I mean skin and fur kids alike.  We now take Mason out to his house about once a month but smitty and I dont stay very long.  I do that only because no matter what he is my dad and he is Masons grandfather.  Neither one of us chose him but there is nothing that we can do about it other than for us to keep doing what is right and hopefully one of these days he will see the error of his ways.  If not he will be the one that has to answer for it not us.

I dont know if tt will help you at all but if it is possible take the kids to him and dont let him in your house if he cant behave himself.  Your house your rules.  And dont feel guilty cause how many times growing up did you hear the ole.... while you are living in my house or under my roof.....  Same goes for you...

Good Luck
Carrie

[LibbyP]

Sorry I don't have any words of wisdom ~ like Carrie 

Must be heart breaking having to go through this, my family doesn't understand why I feel the need to have such big dogs ~ that drool and shed....

Wishing you some peace ~ Kim

[gerty647]

Just to give you a little more insight into the problem,My father used to be a drunk who beat my mother,I never witnessed the beatings or recieved any myself but after they divorced he felt that he could control me and my life and has tried my whole life,I've always had somewhat of a fear of him because of his anger which makes confronting him difficult.
He has never tried this with my brother but I think it's because he doesn't see him but once a year and want to be nice then,But he critizes EVERYTHING I do including how to raise my childern,I guess he forgot he was a deadbeat dad.
I won't go to his house because he's a chain smoker and lives in a not so good area,I'm just torn because I won't allow him to critize my children the way he has me and I can see trying to start on them.
My husband HATES him but tries to stay out of it because it's my Dad,But I know I'm going to have to decide soon on a resolution to this problem.
Thanks for all the advice and letting me ramble on.
Jackie