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Author Topic: I've had it. I need to vent. LONG and rambling. Sorry.  (Read 9174 times)
Newly Newfed
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« on: January 19, 2008, 12:26:53 PM »

OK.  I'm sick of this crap.  I'm unbelievably stressed about this whole worrying about Sierra getting pregnant and to be honest I'm in a pretty foul mood this morning just thinking about other things.  I am not the person you want to be around today.  I'll be the first to admit that I am a miserable bi*** when I get in this mood.  Oh, my poor family today.  Please, PLEASE just do what your supposed to today and everything will be fine.

I wasn't going to get Sierra spayed because I was still kicking around the idea of showing her...just in small local shows or even just some match shows.  I honestly don't think she is of show quality (conformation) but Jeff knows how much I want to show dogs and we talked about maybe using her as a "practice" dog to reaccquaint myself with the show world and that way I can make mistakes and learn from them, before we invest a lot of money in another puppy from a more proven lineage.  She may not ever place, and the judges might think I'm nuts entering her, but that's ok.  At least I won't be making mistakes with a more expensive dog and she'll have something to do.  But I've decided I'm spaying her ASAP.  I'm not going through this again.  As for the showing, I've been meeting some breeders through the my county dog training club and also through the regional Newf club.  I'm a member of both and may be I can strike a deal with them:  Teach me what you know about newfs and showing, and I can volunteer to help at your kennels in return.  Heck I clean up after my dogs now, I may as well do it and get something in return for it.

I got up to take Sierra out this morning and there were little piles of poop scattered around and and about six different wet spots - small ones though.  I can't remember th last time she peed or pooped small, and she hasn't gone in the house in about eight months.  So after only 5 hours of sleep I get to clean this crap up.  Literally.  So I clean the floors up and take her outside.  She's been starting this thing where, when she pees, she squats there for a long time.  This morning, after she gets up I notice that it looks like her urine might have blood in it.  Just wonderful!  That can't be good.  So I stand out there in the freezing cold at 6:30 am waiting for her to poop, which of course she doesn't do, because, DUH!, she already did that in the house.  She squats to pee a few more times and nothing happens except the last time a little bit comes out.  Since then she has whined to go out about every 15 minutes and she pees every time I take her out.  Hmmm, bladder infection?  Her pee looks normal so far except for the first one this morning, but if you guys know anything about me it's that I worry.  I can't help it, it's what I do best.  Oh and I almost forgot the best part - then she threw up.  At that point I was so frustrated I just sat down on the stairs and cried as I watched her throw up again.  So by 7:30 am, before my eyes are even fully open, I had the pleasure of cleaning up evey disgusting thing that can be spewed from my sweet girl's body.  Now she is just walking around the house whining.  Wonder what that's all about?

As I write this I'm wondering if this venting is helping or not, because it is just bringing up so many other things.  Katie has a cheer competition today that I really wanted to go to.  Well, I probably can't.  Not only because of the dog, but also because the house looks like a tornado went through it and I may as well use the alone time to get things in order, because God forbid anyone else in the house lift a freaking finger.  I'm going to end up doing it all myself anyway, so why bother aggravating myself more by trying to get the others to help.  Well, now Katie is upset because I'm not going to her competition.  Now any of you who may have daughters on a competition cheer squad know these things are all day events.  And I love going to see them.  Katie is REALLY GOOD.  She competes almost every weekend for about 8 months and this is the first one I am missing in two years.  So she's upset with me.  Yet her mother has never gone to one of them yet and Katie puts her a on a pedestal.  I can't understand how Katie doesn't get mad at her.  She doesn't even have a good reason to miss these competitions.  She admits to Katie the only reason she's not going is either because she "doesn't feel like it" or she doesn't want to go because I'll be there.  Is this woman for real?  She honestly thinks that is an acceptable excuse to hurt your daughter yet again?  These events are HUGE and there are like 400 people there.  She can't avoid me in a crowd that size?  Then again, she also missed Kelsey's first ever cheer competition because I was there.  I wasn't even in the spectator stands because I was squad's coach and had to stay with the girls.  Her mother wouldn't even have seen me!  Selfish B****!  Sorry I have REAL REAL bad issues with Jeff's ex.  She goes out of her way to do everything in her power to make my life miserable.  I don't use the word "hate" very often when I'm referring to other people, but I really hate her.  I really do and it's hard sometimes trying to keep my feelings to myself in front of the girls.  I could go on forever about the things she has done to Jeff, the kids and me.  I really wish there was some way she would just disappear from our lives forever, with no ill effects on the kids.

Ok.  I think I'm done.  I'm sorry this was so long and jumping from one thing to the next.  I needed to get it out.  I'm not looking forward to today and I just wish I could go back to bed, wake up tomorrow and have a better day.  But of course I can't.  I have to stay up to take my dog out every 15 minutes while everyone else gets to sleep late.  And then thye wonder why I'm going to be in a bad mood all day.  Umm, maybe the combination of no sleep, stress, worry, frustration and PMS could have something to do with it.  But I have to go now and take my dog out.  Gee, feels like I just did that...
« Last Edit: January 19, 2008, 12:30:17 PM by Newly Newfed » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2008, 01:24:12 PM »

Well, I can attest to the fact that Stepmom Stuff can seriously stress you out.  My stepson's mom used to make our lives a living h*ll with her petty, vicious alcoholic games.  I know just what you mean about trying not to let your feelings show in front of the kids....it's really hard!  Thankfully, my stepson has very to do with his mother anymore....whe n he was 13 the family courts gave him the right to decide if he wanted visitation (based on her drinking and erratic, highly dysfunctional behavior) and he has not seen her since.  He's only talked to her on the phone a handful of times in more than 3 years.  I know it has to be hard for him in some ways, but for the most part he is a much happier kid without her in his life. 

Hope your day gets better!
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« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2008, 01:35:23 PM »

::hugs:: I have to remind my mother that a house that looks like a tornado went through means it's lived in and loved. Somethings you'll never have a do over in. A dirty house is something that you can do whenever. It drives my mom crazy to have her house be a disaster but all our friends say "It's cleaner than my house and who cares? It's your home!" I know it's a pride thing to have a clean house but tell her you'll go if she'll help you clean up after/tomorrow. Mom will take one room and I'll take another. 2000 sq ft gets cleaned a little quicker that way and we both get what we want.

I hope you baby feels better though and nothing too serious to worry about!  Kiss Kiss Jager has days like that but he's just being a butt when I'm trying to watch TV or get something done.
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« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2008, 01:56:35 PM »

Wow - Tough day. I understand on so many levels other than the ex-wife/step child.
My house is usually in tornado status. Lately though has been better. Kids and hubby are really helping.
For some unknown reason all of the dogs decided that at 3:05 they wanted to get up. I finally gave in and let them out. Restarted the fire in the front room. Did some things around the house and then had to go outside in 20 degree wether to chase Bella and Tug down and drag them back into the house. They are now going over the fence. I then took some cold medicine and was trying to get to sleep when Bella decided to start going thru the husbands suitcase . Since he is only home a couple of days a week- it doesnt get totally unpacked. Then Casey decided to chew on an old shoe that she has claimed as hers, right beside the bed. I finally got back to sleep as the husband was getting up for the morning- I told him that to let me sleep 30 more minutes and I would then clean the puppy room.
He was sweet, I woke up to him and my son cleaning the puppy room. Probably because of the sounds that they were making as they were gagging over ecky papers but they were trying to help.
We now have to start running the hot wire on the fence today and we are in the middle of cutting and splitting more firewood as the remainder of this week is going to be even colder and wet.

It would be so nice if Jeff and the kids would help more, but if they dont, dont stress. In a few years you are not going to remember what it was that needed to be cleaned but you are going to remember the time spent with the family. Hopefully Sierra doesnt have a bladder infection. Give her a hug. She sounds as if she isnt feeling too well.
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« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2008, 02:09:51 PM »

I am so sorry that your day totally sucks.  It sounds like your girl may have a urinary tract infection.  Max has one right now.  That would explain the frequent urination and the upset stomach, creating the piles and vomit.  As far as your daughter, I would probably go and find out when she is on.  I would make sure I was there for her and then leave to get the things done, you need to and also for some quiet time to relax.  Asking for her help to clean is a fantastic solution to her being upset with you.  Maybe she can take specific tasks to do during the week on an ongoing basis to lighten the load for you and to give her a sense of accomplishment and responsibility, separate from her cheering.  Please don't make the decision to spay or not spay your girl, based on what happened today.  It only happens once every six months and is worth putting up with in the long run.  The heats were much easier for me to deal with than having to give hormone pills to control urinary incontinence forever.  At least that is how I felt about it.  Good luck and I hope your day gets better.
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« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2008, 03:53:41 PM »

Thank you for the pep talks.  Everbody has left and it's just me and the pup.  Ahh...nice and quiet...I'm starting to feel better.  As much as I love my family, sometimes I just want them to go away for a few hours.  That feeling is very rare, but today just happens to be one of those times.  Sierra is sleeping peacefully, so I'm just going to go cuddle with my cat, take a nap and then get cleaning on the house.  Jeff got up right as I was finishing my post and asked what I was doing.  I said I was venting on BPO and he made the mistake of asking "what about?"  I just burst into tears and the poor guy had this look on his face like "uh oh.  What did I say?"

Anyway, he got the girls up and had them start cleaning up.  Katie's trick is that she jumps in the shower before anything else so that at least an hour's worth of work is done before she comes out of her bedroom and she has less to do.  Kelsey's trick is that she keeps moving around so it looks like she's doing something, but nothing actually gets done.  So neither girl really did anything and Jeff and I were too busy trying to un-clog the vacuum to notice until they left.

Like Kathy suggested, the girls actually do have a chore list.  We made it up together so we all agreed it was fair.  It's just getting them to do their chores is a daily struggle.  I know they are teenagers and I know this comes with the territory, but it still drives me batty.  And that is really my only complaint about the girls...they are wonderful kids, they don't get into trouble with their friends, but they are lazy.  Getting them to fold a load of laundry is like pulling teeth.  I generally don't ask Jeff for help around the house.  He takes care of everything outside without asking for much help, and he does it one-armed because his other arm is paralyzed.  I hate helping outside (spiders are out there ya know Cheesy), and he doesn't ask unless it's something he really can't do himself, so as far as I'm concerned he can sit on his butt when he's in the house.  Our house isn't so big that me and the girls can't keep it clean.

Thanks again, everybody.  I just had a really bad morning and I appreciate you taking the time to offer some kind words and empathy.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2008, 04:05:11 PM by Newly Newfed » Logged

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« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2008, 04:15:54 PM »

And then I look over to the loud snoring sound and see this:



And I instantly smile and can't help but feel better. Wink
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« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2008, 09:59:49 PM »

Awww.  I'm sorry you had a cruddy day, but glad that it all worked out in the end.  And who better to help cheer you up but the big fluff butt herself?   Wink Cheesy

I hope tomorrow goes 100 times better then today did.   Smiley
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« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2008, 11:03:53 PM »

Hope its all better now!  Tornado central is our home-we get one clean 2 hours per week (that was today) and then out come the shoes(counting 4 pair right now), softies, kibble in the livingroom, couch cushions on the floor, every tv on in the house, both sides of the sink full and an empty dishwasher right beside them, newspaper all over the dining room table, 3 baskets of clean folded clothes (hubby's job), wet towels on bathroom floor, matchbox cars and thomas trains on the floor, trash overflowing because someone tried shoving 2 lg pizza boxes in the small can, tatertot pan from lunch sitting on stove, the kids sheets on the floor on top of 2 days worth of clothing, poo in the toilet (my 5yo's trick) with the lid up meaning another male peed after my 5 yo went and still didn't flush, 8 books laying on their floor...next to their book shelf, several new slingers (thought I got em all yesterday!) and one 200pc set of llegos (the super tiny set) spread out on the floor.  And I sit back and breathe because it is all simply clutter and will be picked up before bed by everyone and I'll have plenty of time to have a museum when i'm old and my kids no longer stress my world.  But now, a tornado means love and living and happy....  Smiley

Don't fret too much about the step mom comparison thing.  That's why they are the 'exes' and we are the 'real' wife!  My stepdaughter is an angel but she is loyal to mom-who is super controlling (tries to but we usually deflate her bubble) of everyone, specifically how we should live.  She tries to superimpose her religious beliefs upon us and yet her husband recently committed suicide because she is sooooo crazy!  Be happy they are the EXES!!!

Our springer had a severe kidney infection..... .she would squat and maybe pee a little and at times, there was blood.  They gave her some antibiotics-that was 8 years ago or so.  Hopefully your baby is ok!!!

We all have our bad days so hang in there .  I think its soooo cooool you have a place to vent!  Wink
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« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2008, 11:17:15 PM »

Thank goodness for BPO and venting eh?  I can relate on the stepmom side of things, and know that Anna Banana and Sheba hugs and drools are awesome therapy for those kind of days.

We went through several heats with Anna and pooping/peeing were par for the course there.  Hope both of you are feeling better soon!
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« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2008, 02:01:50 AM »

Hope its all better now!  Tornado central is our home-we get one clean 2 hours per week (that was today) and then out come the shoes(counting 4 pair right now), softies, kibble in the livingroom, couch cushions on the floor, every tv on in the house, both sides of the sink full and an empty dishwasher right beside them, newspaper all over the dining room table, 3 baskets of clean folded clothes (hubby's job), wet towels on bathroom floor, matchbox cars and thomas trains on the floor, trash overflowing because someone tried shoving 2 lg pizza boxes in the small can, tatertot pan from lunch sitting on stove, the kids sheets on the floor on top of 2 days worth of clothing, poo in the toilet (my 5yo's trick) with the lid up meaning another male peed after my 5 yo went and still didn't flush, 8 books laying on their floor...next to their book shelf, several new slingers (thought I got em all yesterday!) and one 200pc set of llegos (the super tiny set) spread out on the floor.  And I sit back and breathe because it is all simply clutter and will be picked up before bed by everyone and I'll have plenty of time to have a museum when i'm old and my kids no longer stress my world.  But now, a tornado means love and living and happy....  Smiley


Do you have a webcam into my house?  LOL!

Don't fret too much about the step mom comparison thing.  That's why they are the 'exes' and we are the 'real' wife!  My stepdaughter is an angel but she is loyal to mom-who is super controlling (tries to but we usually deflate her bubble) of everyone, specifically how we should live.  She tries to superimpose her religious beliefs upon us and yet her husband recently committed suicide because she is sooooo crazy!  Be happy they are the EXES!!!

Yes, Jeff's ex is very controlling too. To the point where she has told the girls that they cannot get their hair cut unless she says it's ok and is there to make the decisions.  She has told them that changing their hair is not their decision to make and their hair belongs to her until they are 21.  She's ridiculous.  When she was married to Jeff she told him what movies he was allowed to watch and what he wasn't allowed to watch.  He put up with her far longer than he wanted to because he didn't want his kids to shuffle back and forth between homes.  Turns out they don't have to.  When she cheated on him and moved out, she told him to keep the kids.  She didn't want them.
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« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2008, 02:05:22 AM »

Big fluff butt!  Alex, I love that!!!   Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
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« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2008, 11:55:45 AM »

Do I what I do, the more control she TRIES to exert, the more we have fun!  haircuts, movies, ears pierced.  I told my stepdaughter that we would take her to get her belly pierced at 16 if she wanted it.....her mom is opposed to everything.  I know that their divorce decree gives them equal rights to make whatever decisions they want within legal limits while in eaches custody.  We took her to a celebration of live party and her mother flipped!  W just smiled and said....isn't  your choice so get over yourself.  ooooo' she gets pissed but we don't care.  Smiley 
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« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2008, 01:14:05 PM »

Like Kathy suggested, the girls actually do have a chore list.  We made it up together so we all agreed it was fair.  It's just getting them to do their chores is a daily struggle.  I know they are teenagers and I know this comes with the territory, but it still drives me batty. 

 

Oh, we have parallel lives!  I could have written that paragraph about my stepson!  And it drives me more than batty sometimes....i t makes me downright angry.  I have really come to think that I am just not cut out to deal with teenagers.  I don't have much patience for laziness, dishonesty, and sullen attitudes....t raits that they seem to posess in spades!  Sometimes I wonder how my parents kept from smothering me in my sleep when I was 16....lol... 
« Last Edit: January 20, 2008, 01:14:39 PM by shine » Logged

Sharing my life and love with
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Rio - Loyal Lab/Beagle Mix
Zildjian - Dalmatian
Dolly - Weird Hound Mix
Stubby - Weird Corgi Mix
Ribbit - Grumpy Cocker Mix
House Cats - Bump, Delilah, Stashe, Mischa, Moose
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« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2008, 02:31:22 PM »

another reason why (although I love my children) dogs are easier!  Wink  I'm so lucky, my kids (even the teens) are pretty good....I mean, we have our moods and our 'teenage timeframe' issues but mine get immediate consequences.  When my son 'forgets' his chores and I see it, I say, ok....zack, chores.  I pull the austin powers minime thing 'zip...zip it' if there is argument...but there usually isn't  (maybe a sigh). My favorite saying is.....sucks that you guys get to sit in total silence until we work as a family to get it done.  Pulling a gaming system from teen boy or cell phonevfrom my step daughter has worked for us.   When your work is done you can have it back.  We've actually prevented my daughter from going to an event and shhe was devastated but oddly, she survived...lol
Now, the 5 yo is a different story!!  He hits the door like a cat. 5 hurricane and requires extensive monitoring and consequences (ie...work and training) but he is improving greatly! 

Raising teens is like nailing jello to a tree!
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