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Author Topic: Is this creepy?  (Read 4114 times)
jabear
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« on: January 28, 2009, 05:47:40 PM »

There is this guy on my floor that I have seen a few times before in passing. He seems normal looking, and said hi to Bear a few times- no biggie. Well a few days ago I see him getting out of the elevator as we go to get in. His English is not so great so I figure that whatever he has asked must be lost in translation. All I really understood was "I walk with you?" I stared and he said "Weird?". I nodded and smiled then got into the elevator.

Well, tonight Bear and I go walking down the hall to go outside. I hear the elevator door close as we walk down the hall. I'm laughing at Bear and tugging on the leash he has in his mouth. We round the corner & I see the guy there. He had heard me making noises & decided to wait and see it if was the 2 of us. Well, we make eye contact, he says "hi. Can I walk with you?" I make a face that says NO and then he asks "Is that weird?" I say yes in a way that to most would me absolutely not you freak. Then he walks his way & Bear & I go ours.

As I turn to enter the street, I look back at the people behind me & see him right behind us. He quickly catches up and walks with us. Bear is so....Bear...t hat he could care less. Mind you, this is one of the rare nights I'd love to see someone I know but nobody is around. He seems very nice, smiles way to much, knows I am married but walks with us anyways.  I kept the walk VERY short. We walk back into the building & go back up to our floor. As he leaves to his loft he goes, "next time we walk too." I just stare and RAN to my door.

So, now I am feeling all heeby-jeeby inside thinking he could be a erial killer or something. I have already called my dogless neighbor to convince her to walk with me when Michael is in class. I'm so creeped out....do you think I should be or am I over reacting?
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« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2009, 06:12:48 PM »

I'd be creeped out definatly! But maybe he just doesn't understand you. You said he doesn't speak english very well so maybe he means something other then what he's saying.

When I was 16 I had a boyfriend who was on a work visa from Russia and though he spoke english pretty well, he didn't understand common practices here.

We went to American Eagle to get clothes and after he tried the stuff on and was ready to check out her walked up to the counter and very seriously told the cashier,

"Hello, I am Ivan Ilin, how is your life?"

He meant how are you, or how's you day, but he said the wrong thing. She just nodded and said good. He then proceeded to say,

"I would like to purchase these items."

The girl looked at him weird again because it's kinda obvious that when you put new items onto the counter it's to buy them. He then proceeded to inform her,

"I'd like to pay with this card. You scan it and it works like money to make purchase."

She obviously was very creeped out and thought he was mocking her but he was actually trying to be very serious and polite. So maybe the guy in your building is just confused.
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« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2009, 06:28:21 PM »

I'm inclined to agree that it sounds (from a distance) as if it may just be cultural misunderstandi ng.  However, I'm a big believer in trusting your instincts!  So, since his approach is making you really uncomfortable, I'd take the safe route and only walk with Michael or your trusted neighbor for awhile.  Hopefully this will give this other man the clear message that you aren't interested.  In the meantime though, do you know anyone else of this man's nationality that you could ask if this is a cultural thing or what??   Undecided
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« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2009, 06:30:22 PM »

He he, 2Criminals.  We were posting at exactly the same time and both of us were saying to follow your instincts.  Great minds....   Wink  Cheesy
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Marie

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« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2009, 06:34:36 PM »

It sounds a bit unsettling, mostly because he appears when you and Bear are leaving "alone".  I agree with the other posts in regards to the language barrier. But don't set aside the uncomfortable feelings you have when he "appears"... they're there for a reason.  Since there is a language barrier, try pointing to your ring and then shake your finger and head in a sort of a disapproval way(if that makes sense).  And turn and walk away.  It may seem a bit rude, but you need to draw the line so he can understand.
I was followed home from school when I was in junior high. I was very fortunate, in that I paid attention to people and vehicles around me.  The same guy/vehicle passed me 11-12 times... following me as I walked away from the busy streets to my quiet little cul-de-sac and an empty house.  The last time he passed me was on the corner of my cul-de-sac... I took the opportunity while drove down further to turn around... I never ran so fast to get into the house and lock the doors. I watched him through the curtains as he drove slowly into the cul-de-sac and waited... he finally left.  To this day, remembering this scares the bejezzes out of me... and that was about 30 years ago. I had an unsettling feeling and had and urgent "flight" response.
Sorry to jack the post, but I truly believe in listening to your initial feelings.  I don't mean to scare you, cuz he may be harmless, but you can't take chances. Stay Alert and hang with friends.
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« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2009, 06:37:23 PM »

He he, 2Criminals.  We were posting at exactly the same time and both of us were saying to follow your instincts.  Great minds....   Wink  Cheesy

LOL, I actually started my post well before anyone else posted, I just couldn't get the right words out...it's late. Seems everyone is on the same page though Wink

"I truly believe in listening to your initial feelings.  I don't mean to scare you, cuz he may be harmless, but you can't take chances. Stay Alert and hang with friends. "

I was posting also... sounds like were all on the same page!
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« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2009, 03:03:12 AM »

He probably is harmless but I'd be  careful just in case. I would not walk Bear alone till he gets the message. I'd even go as far as trying to take several friends each time.
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« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2009, 04:42:42 AM »

Hi,

Ok you know his apartment # so instead of waiting on him, next time Michael is home, go over to his place Knock on the door and introduce your selves!! Meet him as a neighbor first, get to know him a bit. It sounds a bit like a lonely foreigner looking for a friend, Your in LA right,so for him having a friend with a realy BIG dog may actually make HIM feel more comfortable about walking the neighborhood!! and he doesn't know how to ask!! Plus if it works out you may have a Bear watcher in a pinch if you need one!!!

Instincts are important so if the flag goes up to stay away doing an intro with Michael will make that easier I think!
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« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2009, 06:17:50 AM »

This ones a toughie.  To me it sounds alot like a lonely newcomer looking to make a friend.  Maybe he had a large dog back home and seeing you with Bear reminds him of his dog?  Either way, I do say to trust your instincts, if he feels like a creeper, then keep your distance.  I like Tinas idea, see if you can't find out where he's from, then find some pamphlets for a cultural center to give to him.  But maybe try to limit your contact with him to only when Micheal's around or with other friends.

Good luck.  Smiley
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« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2009, 12:13:33 PM »

I agree with knocking on his door with the hubby to kindly welcome him to the neighborhood. This way, if he's a creepo, he'll back off, if he's lonely, he'll know you're good people. Hubby can also take a good look at him for a second opinion.

You never know, maybe in his culture it is not safe/polite to let a woman walk alone.

I also agree that the smiling is probably to cover for the bad English.

As a French-Canadian with a Ukrainian hubby, we look strange sometimes too. I hear I occasionally (okay often) come off as really rude/loud and that the hubby is like a 75 year-old war veteran, though he's only 26 Smiley
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jabear
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« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2009, 02:22:53 PM »

Thanks everyone. Your ideas are wonderful! Besides being more careful & alert than I already am I think that having Michael meet him would be great.

To answer some questions:
He does know I'm married but I never wear my ring when I walk outside because I'm scared a bum will try to steal my rings or something, so they stay home when I walk with Bear.

The guy is young & Russian, from Belarus. He seems very serious but was weird when discussing his job at a jewelry company.

In any event, I need to remain on alert & hope that he turns out to be odd but harmless.
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Jaime
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« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2009, 04:45:25 AM »

I think going back to a simple "No" when he wants to walk with you may be the best. Even if he's just trying to make friends, being polite with cultural differences can be so misunderstood.

In my younger "cute" days I was divorced and had my 4 year-old daughter. I enrolled her in a martial arts class. The owner/instructor was from Korea and barely spoke English.

One day after class he said something to me that I could not understand at all. I smiled and nodded my head. The following class he was upset with me because apparently he asked me over for dinner and I had stood him up.

I had my parents take my daughter to the last class but had to attend an exhibition in a local park the following weekend. The instructor kept having people take pictures of the two of us or three of us. He'd pose with his arm around my shoulder. Once he even picked up my daughter and had me stand beside him. I couldn't understand anything he was saying. Finally a relative of his came up to me and told me he was taking pictures of us to send home to show everyone his American wife and child!!! Shocked

Just be careful Jaimie. You wouldn't want Bear to be this guy's American kid. Grin
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