First, let me say again how sorry I am that all this is coming down on you.
Second, a stroke is NOT caused by stress, it is caused by a loose blood clot, a MEDICAL CONDITION. For which neither you nor Nee have any responsibility .
Third, I think it is time for a family meeting. Include Gramdpa, and your holy sister, Mom and whoever else is primary. LAY DOWN THE LAW. They all are perfectly comfortable watching you give up your life, and Nee, to stay with an elderly relative and handle everything they do not want to be bothered with. Why not. They make no effort and are free to do whatever they want, while you take on everyone's burdens. Tell them the free ride is now at an end. You are tired of giving things up, and will NOT give up Nee. So either they make other arrangements for Grandpa (How about a nice nursing home--suggest that) and start giving up their lives to babysit him, or they leave you and Nee in peace. They may suddenly decide that Nee is far better with you.
If they choose not to support you, well, we had a collection here for the Katrina Disaster...Why not one for the Ang Disaster/apartment fund.
I'll contribute to that one.
It's time to stand up to them hun, and make some tough decisions.
Stella
PS_ No matter how much pain the old man is in, he has some nerve offering YOUR dog to strangers. Where he goes, if not staying with you, is up to you, not him. He has already done quite enough.