I am so so very sorry Smohr. I know I was not on here for a long time, but I heard what hardship you had to go through. There is no doubt you did everything anyone could possibly have done. And I can only repeat what everyone else here have said, you did NOT fail her, not in the least.
She had too much bad that had happened to her and the demons were just too much to deal with for her, and no matter how much she loves you, sometimes they are just taking over.
The day we go into a partnership with a dog, we also take on a huge responsibility and you are facing that now. You are not in any way letting her down, you are giving her free, doing what she probably would have asked you to do, could she speak our language.
I will be thinking of you, your family and Petra tomorrow.
Have a safe crossing Petra, go play with all the other pups and give your mom big smiles from the bridge.
We are all here for you when you need to cry, talk or vent.
Hugs
Marit