OK. I'm sick of this crap. I'm unbelievably stressed about this whole worrying about Sierra getting pregnant and to be honest I'm in a pretty foul mood this morning just thinking about other things. I am not the person you want to be around today. I'll be the first to admit that I am a miserable bi*** when I get in this mood. Oh, my poor family today. Please, PLEASE just do what your supposed to today and everything will be fine.
I wasn't going to get Sierra spayed because I was still kicking around the idea of showing her...just in small local shows or even just some match shows. I honestly don't think she is of show quality (conformation) but Jeff knows how much I want to show dogs and we talked about maybe using her as a "practice" dog to reaccquaint myself with the show world and that way I can make mistakes and learn from them, before we invest a lot of money in another puppy from a more proven lineage. She may not ever place, and the judges might think I'm nuts entering her, but that's ok. At least I won't be making mistakes with a more expensive dog and she'll have something to do. But I've decided I'm spaying her ASAP. I'm not going through this again. As for the showing, I've been meeting some breeders through the my county dog training club and also through the regional Newf club. I'm a member of both and may be I can strike a deal with them: Teach me what you know about newfs and showing, and I can volunteer to help at your kennels in return. Heck I clean up after my dogs now, I may as well do it and get something in return for it.
I got up to take Sierra out this morning and there were little piles of poop scattered around and and about six different wet spots - small ones though. I can't remember th last time she peed or pooped small, and she hasn't gone in the house in about eight months. So after only 5 hours of sleep I get to clean this crap up. Literally. So I clean the floors up and take her outside. She's been starting this thing where, when she pees, she squats there for a long time. This morning, after she gets up I notice that it looks like her urine might have blood in it. Just wonderful! That can't be good. So I stand out there in the freezing cold at 6:30 am waiting for her to poop, which of course she doesn't do, because, DUH!, she already did that in the house. She squats to pee a few more times and nothing happens except the last time a little bit comes out. Since then she has whined to go out about every 15 minutes and she pees every time I take her out. Hmmm, bladder infection? Her pee looks normal so far except for the first one this morning, but if you guys know anything about me it's that I worry. I can't help it, it's what I do best. Oh and I almost forgot the best part - then she threw up. At that point I was so frustrated I just sat down on the stairs and cried as I watched her throw up again. So by 7:30 am, before my eyes are even fully open, I had the pleasure of cleaning up evey disgusting thing that can be spewed from my sweet girl's body. Now she is just walking around the house whining. Wonder what that's all about?
As I write this I'm wondering if this venting is helping or not, because it is just bringing up so many other things. Katie has a cheer competition today that I really wanted to go to. Well, I probably can't. Not only because of the dog, but also because the house looks like a tornado went through it and I may as well use the alone time to get things in order, because God forbid anyone else in the house lift a freaking finger. I'm going to end up doing it all myself anyway, so why bother aggravating myself more by trying to get the others to help. Well, now Katie is upset because I'm not going to her competition. Now any of you who may have daughters on a competition cheer squad know these things are all day events. And I love going to see them. Katie is REALLY GOOD. She competes almost every weekend for about 8 months and this is the first one I am missing in two years. So she's upset with me. Yet her mother has never gone to one of them yet and Katie puts her a on a pedestal. I can't understand how Katie doesn't get mad at her. She doesn't even have a good reason to miss these competitions. She admits to Katie the only reason she's not going is either because she "doesn't feel like it" or she doesn't want to go because I'll be there. Is this woman for real? She honestly thinks that is an acceptable excuse to hurt your daughter yet again? These events are HUGE and there are like 400 people there. She can't avoid me in a crowd that size? Then again, she also missed Kelsey's first ever cheer competition because I was there. I wasn't even in the spectator stands because I was squad's coach and had to stay with the girls. Her mother wouldn't even have seen me! Selfish B****! Sorry I have REAL REAL bad issues with Jeff's ex. She goes out of her way to do everything in her power to make my life miserable. I don't use the word "hate" very often when I'm referring to other people, but I really hate her. I really do and it's hard sometimes trying to keep my feelings to myself in front of the girls. I could go on forever about the things she has done to Jeff, the kids and me. I really wish there was some way she would just disappear from our lives forever, with no ill effects on the kids.
Ok. I think I'm done. I'm sorry this was so long and jumping from one thing to the next. I needed to get it out. I'm not looking forward to today and I just wish I could go back to bed, wake up tomorrow and have a better day. But of course I can't. I have to stay up to take my dog out every 15 minutes while everyone else gets to sleep late. And then thye wonder why I'm going to be in a bad mood all day. Umm, maybe the combination of no sleep, stress, worry, frustration and PMS could have something to do with it. But I have to go now and take my dog out. Gee, feels like I just did that...