I feel so bad for you that you had to give Lennox up. Why won't this lady let you see him? Surely there' some kind of middle ground here, unless she's completely heartless. Maybe she is afraid that seeing you again would upset him? I have a friend who is divorced, his wife took their dog since she kept the house, and after a while he had to stop visiting the poor pooch because after he left again she would be upset for weeks. If she's unwilling to let you see him, surely she could at least send you some pictures and updates on how he is doing. I hope this gets better for you, it sounds like you've had a lot of stress all around lately. at some point, if you have the time, you might want to try volunteering at your local animal shelter, at least that way you would be able to interact with dogs even if you can't have one anymore, and sadly there are a lot of pooches who weren't as lucky as Lennox to have owners that would find them a good home when they had to, who would appreciate it. Good luck