Confused, need help, can't figure out what to do...

[DakotaMom]

It is starting to look that way to me also. Why would she continue to torture you like this?

[doggylover]

Please you guys, I can handle it, tell me if I'm the one wrong here?  I hope I am, tell me I'm out of line. 
I'm just sobbing now. 

[K9ldy00]

I do not think you are out of line here. It seems to me like she is twisting things around.

[kathryn]

You have every right in the world to question the choice of puppy that she wants to give you.  I don't like the fact that she is basically saying that you can't question her on this matter.  I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. 

Kat

[newflvr]

Having gone through a couple of breeders, I really think that's just how breeders are.  I've read the emails and from what I can figure out, she just wants to be able to continue her line and is trying to maintain control.  That's what breeders like to do.  They do think of these pups as their own flesh and blood and that's a good thing.  I like it that she's so concerned about the stability of the pup's future home.  I completely understand your hesitation in taking the smallest puppy, and with the terms she's set and it certainly is your right not to agree to them.  Try not to take it personally, go see her, see the pups, and try to move past the hurt feelings.  I think you are both on the same side of the fence and just can't see it....

of course, only my opinion....

[DixieSugarBear]

Skip the e-mails and get her on the phone. That way you may get a better read on her.  I know when I have my first litter I am going to make the new mommies and daddies crazy. I am going to want to know everything about the home. I am sure I will second guess myself at least a dozen time on each pup.  My hubby is sure that I will keep all of the first litter.  He does know me!

If this is the start of you learning to breed there will be tons of ups and downs along that road. I am sure I am going to have lots of bumps along the way.

Lisa

[doggylover]

I need to calm down and think.  I just need to get a grip and think.  I was going to email her, now I'm wondering if this is all normal, after reading your last two posts...
I need to calm down and think for a few minutes. 

[GR8DAME]

Just my opinion, and against the flow here, but an arrangement like that would not work with me. My dogs are like MY kids, and no virtual stranger, no matter how well intentioned is going to have that much control over them , or me. Listen to yourself. The games are making you physically ill. The first question I would have to ask is: Is this worth it? With so many breeders availible, so many dogs for rescueing, so many options, is this worth this?
Then you have your answer.
Stella

[Gypsy Jazmine]

I agree with Lisa...Get on the phone to get a better feel for this breeder & she can get a better feel for you!...I also agree with Stella...I am beginnign to wonder if this woman has control issues beyond concern for her dogs...It just doesn't set well with me & my true nature is that of a trusting person...But I have learned life lessons in protecting myself & trusting my gut feeling...Befo re you go any further I think you should call & talk to her though...Deep breaths girlfriend...I t will be alright.

[SA_horses]

It sounds to me like the breeder is way out of line, not you.

In the agreement that has been proposed, you are taking all the risk, the expense, the time, and the breeder gets the best half of the litter?  This may sound really harsh to you, but I think that the breeder is trying to take advantage here.

Finally, I think that you should consider getting the pet-quality pup that you originally agreed to or getting your deposit back.  From what you've posted here, it doesn't sound to me like this breeder is someone with whom you could have a long-term relationship.

I sincerely hope that you are feeling better soon.

Sofia

[doggylover]

OK I have made a decision and I think I was very clear and hopefully fair.  I just sent this email to her:

I have been sitting here feeling physically ill since sending that last mail.  Actually since last night.  Until a few days ago, we believed that our girl was in the pictures you sent us with the 5 pups.  We never heard about a very sick puppy. 

At this point I think it would be a mistake to write up a contract for a future breeding because I would be morally bound to do what I said I would do, and things have gotten very unclear and uncomfortable for me now.

If in the next week you realize that one of the three girls that were in the picture you sent us is turning out to be a pet quality puppy, please let us know.  We still desperately want to do what we planned to do up until a few days ago, which was to have a healthy, pet quality girl out of the five you presented to us. 

If you feel like I am being unreasonable (and maybe I am, I don't much about this process) then could you please just refund the money we have paid and neither of us will have to feel like we were dealt with in an unfair manner?  I don't want you feeling like you are taking 'all of the risk' here.  I don't want things to feel bad.  I just wanted a cute healthy pet quality puppy. 

Let me know if you need the address to send the money back, I sincerely hope it doesn't work out that way.  I will be in touch close to the 1st if I haven't heard back from you...

Ronda

[Kermit]

What a nightmare. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
I agree that you will get a much better sense of things by talking to her on the phone... but... based on those emails I simply do not trust that breeder. It sounds like she is trying to take advantage of you. If communication is this hard now, what will happen in the future when you are dealing with her? We are talking about years that you will be tied to this person if you sign a contract! Also... if you do sign some kind of contract... best get a lawyer to read over that thing so you can protect yourself!!!!

Good luck, I really hope something works out, I want you to have a puppy but I can't stand that you are being put in this position. Ugh. Too much drama!

Please take care of yourself right now!!!! Feel better! Remember to breathe!!!!
 

EDITED: OK my post went up the same time as yours... sounds like you sent the PERFECT email to her! Best of luck!

[doggylover]

I had a lengthy convo with her last night on the phone.  I am hesitant to talk with her on the phone at this point because I am really emotional and things feel fuzzy.  I feel like I have needed some time to think in between messages with her.  This is a nightmare.  Who'd a thunk nightmares sometimes had puppies in them?

[Gypsy Jazmine]

I hope you don't mind that I e-mailed Jackie (Tanimara) with the links to your threads....Jac kie is someone I trust very much, has been breeding her lines for 20 plus yrs. & I bought a wonderful pyrfect Pyr from...I p.m.'d you her reply...I hope this all will turn out well for you!

[chaos270]

I think you're making the right decision by going with the pet quality.  This lady seems like she'd give you a really hard time in the future and I think it'd be risky for you.  She said she's had problems in the past but those emails kind of make me wonder if these problems were from her being so demanding and controlling.  There are other pups out there if she doesn't work out and follow your instincts.