I am so very sorry about Lou. I can tell you loved him very much, and I am sure you were the light of his life. Don't beat yourself up about it. I heard a story and I think you should hear it, too.
A young boy and his mother take their dog in for an annual check-up, but instead of getting some simple shots, they find their beloved pet is terminally ill. They decide there is nothing more they can do for him, and choose to take him home and have him euthanized there. The boy was very calm as he held the dog in his arms while he closed his eyes and died. After the procedure was over, the vet asked the boy why he had been so calm about the whole thing. The boy replied "Every animal-even people-comes here to learn to be nice. It takes people a really long time to learn how to do be nice, but dogs already know, so they can go back heaven before us." The vet was astonished by the boys answer, and left the home feeling comforted, his dog had died only a week before.
I hope ths helps a little, i wish i could do more.
here's a poem to remind you that you and Lou will see each other again soon, and he is with you always.
I’m happy today,
Because you are here.
I’m happy today,
Because you are near.
I’m happy today,
Because I am home
I’m happy today,
‘Cause I’m not alone.
I’m happy today,
Because we’re together.
I’m happy today,
‘Cause we will be forever.
Hang in there!
Leah