Associated Press Release
On 30 March 2007 in the small town of Paoli Indiana our friendly neighborhood Spiderman was viciously attacked in an unprovoked assault. According to the police report a Mastidane, whos name will not be released because he is underage even in dog years, was the primary suspect and had been brought in for questioning. During the interogation the Mastidane admitted to the attack, saying that Spiderman was a stuffie and as all dogs know stuffies are Evil and Dangerous beings. It was also reported that Spiderman had glow-in-the-dark eyes and was apparently stareing at the Mastidane in a mean and threatening manner. The family returned from dinner to find the assault in progress. The mother and father just took it in stride however their 5 year old son was extremely upset by this incident.
We have attached pictures to this press release to show the extent of the attack however; We must warn you that they are VERY GRAPHIC...
Update.. The Mastidane has been sentenced to Incarceration while the family is not at home and will be up for Parole again in 6 months. Spiderman has also been replaced and now has a special place to stay when he is not out saving the world with the Teenaged Mutant Engine Turtles.