NN - my stepson's mom pulled that same kind of crap. She took her guilt trips so far that she threatened suicide a few times, and twice she lied to him and told him she had cancer so he'd "better love her more while he still could!!" (she claimed ovarian cancer and lip cancer....both of which miraculously cleared up with no medical intervention.. ..what an idiot...).
It used to be almost impossible to challenge a biological mother's rights, but the family courts are changing. Our custody battle was a rather amazing example of this. We were given Emergency Temporary Custody of my SS after he told us about his mother driving him around while drunk...all we did was call our attorney, they contacted the courts, and 4 days later we had the order. It was VERY stressful....w e had to pick him up for our regular mid-week evening visit like everything was normal but we all knew he was not going back to his mom (not easy for an 11 year old to pull off)....then the courts served her with the change of custody papers after we left. She was drunk when they did and tried to attack the process server (which he later testified about...didn't help her case!).
We went to court a few days later, and the judge upheld the change of custody until both my husband and his ex had alcohol evaluations and my stepson could talk to his Guardian ad Litem (an attorney who specifically represents the child...most states appoint them) and he could hear from character witnesses and make the best decision. This dragged on for a couple months, and it was tough. She had visitation, and seemed to use it to mentally abuse her son as much as possible. He got to the point that he didn't want to go see her at all. She called our house and screamed and ranted and raved....I still have many voicemail recordings of her drunken threats. She constantly called her attorney with lies about us. She even called the cops at 2 a.m. and had them come check on my SS because she claimed she thought we had killed him....I was furious, I refused to wake him up and let them into his room to see him sleeping but told them if he woke up and saw them in his room it would terrify him and I would sue the whole department (like I said, nerves were frayed, lol).
In the end, we were granted custody based on the many lies she told that we exposed and the testimony of my stepson (who thankfully was allowed to speak to the judge alone instead of in open court in front of his mother). She was granted visitation.... but continued to act like a psycho and less than a year later were back in court to have her visitation suspended or supervised. The judge allowed my stepson to decide whether or not he saw his mom. He was not quite 13 when the court gave him this power....somet hing that would have been unheard of 15 years ago, but like I said the courts are changing.
Sorry to hijack this thread, but I wanted to share our experience with you. If you do go to court, you must be prepared for a very ugly fight. You must be prepared to be your own private detective and track down every lie she tells. This is where intense dislike for her really comes in handy, lol. I was a dog with a bone about it. She lied to the courts and said we were interferring with her telephone visitation.... I got our phone records to show that she was lying. She claimed she never threatened us....I produced the voicemail recordings of it. To say that she hates my guts would be a major understatement . And to this day, if something happened to our home or our animals, I would immediately think she did it. But my stepson is much better off, so it was worth all the stress and frustration and sleepless nights. Good luck to you!