Hmmm... I don't think I am quite to the point as the rest of you but let's see if I qualify:
The first thing you see when you open our front door is a furry, black, 80 lb ball of energy and drool barreling down the stairs straight at you cuz she just CAN'T wait to say hello. (This is especially popular with Jeff's 73 year old father
)
After you pick yourself up off of the floor and wipe off the slobber with the omnipresent drool towels strategically placed around the house, you see a beige rug nicely infused with black dog hair that no vacuum will ever get out.
After you make it up the stairs, you have to dodge the still excited ball of energy and try to keep her from licking your legs. From May - June you also must dodge two fawns running laps around the house at a zillion miles an hour.
You spend more time feeding your animals than you spend feeding your family of five.
There are toys strewn about everywhere. They all squeak and they are all sticky with slobber in various stages of drying.
Your Christmas tree is decorated only from 4 feet and up.
You find live cats that need rescuing from the middle of your Christmas tree because they climbed up and are too stupid to figure out how to get down.
There is more pet hair on you and your clothing than there is on your pets.
Baby gates. And you don't have any babies.
Dog smell? What dog smell?
Stock in kitty litter goes up whenever you go shopping.
The Amish farmer we buy deer feed from smiles and rubs his hands together when he sees our truck.
No leftovers - the deer will eat anything! (They LOVE stale Doritos)
You hear your 16 year old girl shriek "Get away! You're disgusting!" regularly throughout the day and then momentarily, your big paw proudly comes trotting out with some major slingers hanging from her lips.
You narrowly avoid a car accident that was completely your fault because you didn't realize just how much the Newf drool smeared across the windows was blocking your vision.