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BPO Just For Fun Forum => Games & Jokes => : Softhug July 21, 2006, 08:36:31 AM
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Living In The South
Dear Diary:
May 30th:
Just moved to Birmingham... Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as h*ll. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
August 4th:
It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
August 8th:
If another wise @ss cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my @ss was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and @ss. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried @ss, and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?? Water rationing will be next,so might as well watch $1700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow
into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
August 15th:
Welcome to h*ll!!! Temperature got to 105 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking South. What
kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
<modified to add "Ya'all" How could I not include ya'all in the subject?>
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LMAO...that was good....thanks for the laugh ;D
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Heeheeheeheehe ehee!!!!
It's funny because it's true! As I sit here in my air-conditioned home, and it's still 90 degrees in here.... :D ;D :D ;D :D
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That is hilarious!! :D
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That is friggin' hysterical!
I've been in Atlanta for almost 11 years - and I still cant get used to the heat.... bring on the Buffalo winters, I say! LOL
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 That's funny...and I thought we had it bad when it almost hit 90 this week, the hottest it's been since last August.
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ROFLMAO!!!!! At least I have the beach! BWHahhahahahah ahaha....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
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:: sob:: I sorta think anyone who chooses to live in H3llishly hot areas can't really complain. Hubby and I brilliantly were born in the Pacific Northwest. We deserve, by birthright, to be in a nice comfy climate. It is 104 here! WTH?!!!!!!!!!!! We are not set up for this weather. I am SWEATING. This is not acceptable. I am willing to give up hairspray if it means there will be no more global warming.
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
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Honey, I sweat in Nov!!! I lived in MI for a VERY short time. It was April 4 I opened the front door and it was snowing, I thought it was a joke! It was in the low 50's and I was chilly and the people there thought I was insane because I had a light jacket on. But then it got into the upper 70's and they were "dying" cause it was so hot and then I thought they were crazy cause that's nothing!! I may get annoyed cause I do sweat: I don't perspire and I don't glisten, I SWEAT!! But I wouldn't move from the coast again!!
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Oh, Oh, can we have smores?!?!?!?! PLEASE, PLEASE, I love smores!!
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YEA, YEA ;D ;D :P
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I agree with the warmer climate. As I was telling a friend the other night, I was born and raised in Texas, I am built for the heat but not for cold. We haven't even hit our hottest month down here. August and September are usually the hottest months but last year it was hot into December. So, I'll watch the bonfire and bring the chocolate for the smores.
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I'll bring the keg...! I don't do cold either!
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OH MY GOODNESS~ its sooooo hot here. Im in norman, Oklahoma and the high today was 110...ya thats ONE HUNDRED TEN! Its hotter here than in the Sahara desert from what the news said. We're not even allowed to water our gardens or anything because the heat caused a water main to break two days ago. Its awful. Although a cold front is suppose to move in tonight so tomorrow it will only be 92. That just makes me laugh.
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I can't even imagine the temps. some of you are dealing with. How do your pups deal with it? My guys are miserable when it get into the high 70's. I'll take our Maine winters and long underwear from Labor Day to Memorial Day any time over 100 degree days.
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Most everyone does early morning walks and late evening walks and exercise. Also take lots of water on trips. Air conditioning, kiddie pools, and ice help out a lot and lots of shade. I try to keep my guys in during the hottest part of the day. If I let them out to run, I will turn on the sprinkler for a little bit if I am not on a water rationing. Thankfully, my guys don't want to be outside for long when it's so hot out. Of course, mine all have short coats, I can't imagine how bad it is for the long, heavy coat pups.
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WE ARE HANDLING IT THE SAME WAY THANKSGIVING TURKEYS HANDLE BEING THROWN IN THE OVEN. :'( :'( :'( :'(
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WE ARE HANDLING IT THE SAME WAY THANKSGIVING TURKEYS HANDLE BEING THROWN IN THE OVEN.  :'( :'( :'( :'(
At least the turkey isn't being cooked alive like you guys. I don't envy you at all.
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I agree with the warmer climate. As I was telling a friend the other night, I was born and raised in Texas, I am built for the heat but not for cold. We haven't even hit our hottest month down here. August and September are usually the hottest months but last year it was hot into December. So, I'll watch the bonfire and bring the chocolate for the smores.
Ditto! I will take southern summers over cold and snow anyday!
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I was born and raised in Alabama, we didn't even have A/C when I was growing up. Redneck I know, but I had a box-fan in my window, and that was my cooling. It was not until much later in life that I lived in a place with central A/C...OMG, I was in heaven, it was neat to set a thermostat and it was cool.
I can deal with the heat much easier than I can the cold... 95degrees w/ 70% humidity is not great but I can stand it, but 30degree temperatures, and I can not stand to be outside or leave the house.
I am really getting pretty spoiled about temperatures now though that I am getting older... and my latest power bill proves it! Nearly 400 that's a new record for me ::)
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Brandon, it's really not your fault on the electric bill. Just like it's not my fault either. We have big pretty pups and kitties that need to stay cool during the summer. Really we are sacrificing our wallets so much to keep them at a comfortable temperature year round. ;D
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I've been in TN for 20 years nearly, usually I can take our summers but this one is BAD.. It has been getting in the high 90s into the 100s.. A few days ago it hit 105 with heat index of 112. And humidity was like 86%. It is horrible this summer. Thank God we have a cool front in. It is 85 now heat index 89, about 50% humidity and mostly cloudy. It feels great out ;D
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I am dainty. I don't like any temperature above 72 or below 69. I know this about myself. I also don't get up in the morning before 9:00am (well, I didn't before puppy...now I get up when she gets up, but I intend to train her in the ways of our house; don't get up until you have bed sores from laying there too long). This heat wave we are having here int hte Pacific Northwest actually has me worried about dogs in the area because they are really not used to extreme heat!
GRRRRRR