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BPO General Forum => General Board for Big Dogs with Big Paws => : schelmischekitty August 23, 2007, 01:05:25 AM
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so i go in today for my check up, and once again am in there for FIVE minutes. ok, so why did i bother going? i have to PAY to park every time i go, and if i'm just going to do a "hey how are you" why bother...? anywho, he said he's going to do a pelvic next week to see what's going on (first time in almost a month that he's checked me) which is ok with me because i'd like to know when my body starts to get ready. THEN, my hubby misunderstands the doctor when he says "i'll tell you next week when you will be ready" as the doctor saying that he wanted to induce me (what i think he really meant, is about when to expect the baby). so then hubby blurts out "so we're going to induce her?" and i just about holler out "NO!" because i really don't want to be induced. my deliveries are really easy on me and i'd rather not mess with a good thing esp. since i don't think my body is physically ready yet. (won't it make things hurt really bad if your body just ISN'T ready yet??) the doctor ignores what i said and told hubby we'll set up an induction date next week, which made me even MORE uncomfortable about the whole darn situation. so now, hubby has volunteered me for an induction and a partial. i really wonder if they realize how hard it is on your body for all of this to happen.. i very well might just start screaming "NO NO NO!" next week if they keep pushing this stuff on me.
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i hear ya... i would be the same if i was in your position. unless its absolutely necessary for the babys health, i wouldnt want to do it, and its your choice!
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i REALLY don't want to do the induction. last time i had petosum (sp??) it didn't kick in until AFTER i had tristan and it made me SO sick. i'm a firm believe if there isn't nothing wrong with it DON'T fix it. this is one of those cases. i always have my kids at night (which i like b/c it's typically quiet) and he wants to do it mid day which are his normal hours. i hate commotion, and i'd rather do it at 2am. not to mention i'd rather just let nature take it's course b/c it's not until you mess with nature that things mess up!
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Good lord, I would have smacked your hubby if it were me. :-X It's completely up to you and your Dr. has gotta be plain loopy if he wants to set up an induction date when he doesn't even know if you or the baby are ready!?!?! Totally confusing. I would definitely protest it. This whole thing has been SO confusing, I would think, thinking about induction at this point would just be the wrong move..but that's just me. I'm not about messing with nature either unless it becomes necessary. My first 2 were late but came on their own. My 3rd, according to my Dr's due date was 15 days late and so he needed to induce me, seeing that I was past the 2 week point where things can start going bad. Even then, I held out as long as he would let me, I talked with him in length about it because it's the last thing I wanted to have done. And I DIDN'T want Pitocin. He ended up giving me something called Cytotec (which is inserted vaginally) and breaking my water first thing, and 6 hrs later she was here. Fortunately for me, it was the easiest, smoothest and shortest labor I've had and I'm very grateful it went that well. I was scared to DEATH.
Needless to say I will be pushing it to 2 weeks past this time too and he knows that. I think in your situation, it's just strange to consider NOW without possibly some further testing first. I feel sorry for you though. I know how those 5 min visits are and how frustrating. I know the pelvics are kinda pointless too, as far as telling you 'when' anything will happen, but at least if you've made some progress, you *may* have an idea that your body is gearing up at least. :-\
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Uhhhhhh, are you sure about this doctor? :-\ :-\ I hate to bring this up, especially so close to the baby's birth, but I agree with Kristina. This doc doesn't even know how far along you are or if your daughter is ready to be safely born and now he's setting up an induction date???? That and how willing he is to do a partial hysterectomy without even discussing the long term pros and cons with you, just sounds extremely iffy to me. If this had been your dr for years and you were really comfortable with him, I wouldn't say a word, but since you've only known him a short while and you sound like you have real, valid concerns so this sends up HUGE red flags for me. I also am hesitant to mess with mother nature, but sometimes inductions are necessary, but never, never without knowing for certain that it's safe for both mother and baby. If you have concerns (and I think that you do) then don't let anyone push you. You are this little girl's momma and you need to be her advocate. I hope that you get some answers soon that make you feel more comfortable. ;) ;D
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i have ONLY seen this doctor 3 times now (maybe 4?? i can't remember) and he has NOT seen my past medical records as he said they weren't "necessary." that sent up flag number one for me. i KNOW my body isn't ready yet, as i have completely stopped having braxton hicks (sp again??) and don't feel anywhere near having the baby. i'm still a GOOD ways away from sept. 21st/24th (when the US said i'm due) and to me setting up an induction a MONTH early is really odd considering my doctors have always said "no" to inductions b/c they said it complicates things greatly and that was even after my due date had passed. the doctor said he's going to give me the pitocin and then break my water, which made me that much MORE uncomfortable b/c 1. my body reacts VERY strongly to pitocin, and 2. my water has always broke naturally right before the boys were born and i was told the longer between the time your water breaks and the baby is born the greater the risk for infection gets. then the partial thing. the partial makes me super uncomfortable, but a woman hubby works with said he did hers and it was really an easy process and she had no problems. the thing about it is though, i don't see why if he wants to do it he doesn't do it all in one sitting, or at least hospital stay. i don't understand waiting six weeks and then getting put BACK into the hospital when i plan to "try" to breastfeed (again). i told hubby today i was uncomfortable with the dr, he told me i was being silly. what a complete... you know. they are so ignorant (guys) when it comes to childbirth.
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you dont have to have one if you dont want to. period end of discussion. IMHO i would find another doctor even at this late date, surely there are other women you know who can give you a refrence. this is a very important thing that's going on, and it floors me that you are being treated like were in a 3rd world country! NO ONE tells you what to do with your body...or the baby inside it. and that's all there is to that. get a doctor that listens to what you have to say and not some one else... deliver your baby with a trusted refered physician.
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hi all,
l had to be induced with my second baby,he was 10 days overdue like my first but they decided to induce me,and yet my first baby they didn't.l must say though that all was okay,and luckily only had to do it the once,where as the girl next to me had to wait till later that night for her contractions to start properly.good luck with your baby
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i had to have pictocin , from the start my contractions were 2 mins apart, and she wasnt moving down AT ALL she was staying in a ball and since she was my first i cant really compare the contractions from pictocin to not being induced :D but i take it pictocin makes it worse? but yea, id DEFINATELY find me another dr if i were you!
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our doctor is wanting to induce me *before* my due date. from the way he was talking, not next wednesday, but the week after (around the 5th when i'm not due until the 21st / 24th). i agree with you who said that is astonishing considering we don't really know when she is due. this week i'm still measuring behind almost two weeks! (measuring 35 when i'm supposed to be 37 so who knows when i'm due!) actually, i haven't met any other woman in my area yet :/ we haven't been here long at all, so everybody i know is still a good ways west of here and i wouldn't be able to go that far every week. this doctor is actually HIGHLY recommended by everyone in the army. amazingly, the army uses him the MOST in the area! i may very well call tricare and ask them about him and what their opinion is.
pitocin and me do not get along. i hate it. aiden i had an epidural and pitocin, but they accidentally gave me two doses of it at once and the epidural didn't take which messed my back up horribly. so i can't / won't get another one b/c of the problems i still have with my back. when i get left alone i do fine and can do pain management myself, but when they throw around medicine it makes things unbearable for me.
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Listen to your gut instinct - run away from this doctor. He's not right for you. He doesn't know you and isn't taking the time to know you. IMHO, which will probably offend many, I don't like male OB/GYN's. It's like taking your car to a mechanic who's never driven, you know?
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I know induction can be scary... both of mine were induced and this one will be too, for me it is perfect... they never even have to use pitocin on me, they just use "sideatteck"- it's a cervix softner. My daughter was induced 6 weeks early due to complications and we all made it through fine.And I am with all the rest, if you feel uncomfortable tell your hubby to hush up and that you want a second opinion. I personaly have wonderful feelings about being induced under the right circumstances, however that does not sound like your situation.
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i believe i will start looking for a new doctor or at least a second opinion. it just isn't right to me, to mess with things this way. there just isn't any rhyme or reason. if there were i would be completely on it. he just seems to say "ok" to everything hubby brings up, which i don't think is fair b/c *i'm* the one who has to have this baby, and not hubby. i tried explaining why i didn't want it to hubby, but he doesn't understand that your body has to prepare to have a baby (he's never been around for a full pregnancy / birth) and that medicine just CAN'T do the things that time can! the doctor has him under the impression that the medicine will do everything and that once he breaks my water there's magically going to be a baby there just as easily for me as if nature wanted me to have her right then. i actually got into another problem with hubby last night b/c i complained to my mom about hubby volunteering me (yes, right in front of him) for the induction. he said he didn't and i just about screamed at him, "well i sure didn't and the doctor hadn't said the word induction not once so WHO did it then?!" he's so oblivious, and seems to have no concern about what might have to be done if things don't work out as the doctor plans.
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That's a man for ya. ;) No offense to the men out there, but it's pretty typical in my experience. I'm glad you are going to seek out another Dr. or at least opinion, and hubby needs to keep his mouth shut from now on. Even if he doesn't, he has NO say in what happens to your body and how the baby gets here, so hopefully he understands that. He can say all the wants to, if the Dr. is listening to him- that's odd, but definitely speak up and let your feelings and wants be known. I'm sure there are Dr's that just take charge and make decisions they want to make especially if the patient doesn't say anything about it. I've heard it form other women before, especially about c-sections and it's appalling to me.
You're right that once they break your water, you're on the clock and have 24 hrs to deliver or they'll want to do a c-section to get them out. I know lots of inductions turn into sections because they just didn't go well- or just didn't work.. my opinion is they just weren't ready in a lot of cases. My water has never broken on it's own and they've done it for me at some point in labor- or before like I said last time at the same time they induced me. That made me extremely nervous because I wasn't told he was going to do that and I know that once it's broken, the pressure is on. Luckily that's all I needed to kickstart my body into what it needed to do and took off from there, but I was also overdue- not the case with you. So I would be completely opposed to it in your case.
Keep us updated. I really hope you find another Dr., someone that will listen to you and make you feel comfortable. Choosing a Dr. to care for you and deliver your child is a huge decision.
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the last thing i want is a c-section. i've heard so many people say they were super uncomfortable after one! hubby and i have been butting heads over him volunteering me for things for a bit now. ever since the partial thing he brought up. he thinks he "knows it all" and i know what my personal experience is, and with that i know that's about all i could handle doing with the way things went. my biggest fear is not being able to have the baby naturally and either having no choice but to have a c-section or to get completely doped up to where i don't have any control over ANYthing that happens to me. i have such bad luck, i don't even want to have that possibility with this situation. i'd wake up with a gender change somehow!
all my other doctors have always taken charge and decided for me, BUT they always had my best interest at heart. they've always told me "no thats not a good idea and i won't do it because..." this doctor tunes more into hubby than me. hubby told me that he thinks i'm uncomfortable with this doctor JUST because he's agreeing and doing what (catch this) *we* want instead of how the military doctors do it where hubby says "they get paid the same amount no matter what hours they work and they just want the easy way out. the only reason they're a military doctor is because they couldn't make it in the civilian world"... i don't agree, i think it makes them MORE human to do that for way less than civilians get paid, obviously they have to have passion for their work and the people, if they get paid so little... right??
by the way, does it hurt when they break your water for you? mine i never felt it, but it's always gone naturally...
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the last thing i want is a c-section. i've heard so many people say they were super uncomfortable after one! hubby and i have been butting heads over him volunteering me for things for a bit now. ever since the partial thing he brought up. he thinks he "knows it all" and i know what my personal experience is, and with that i know that's about all i could handle doing with the way things went. my biggest fear is not being able to have the baby naturally and either having no choice but to have a c-section or to get completely doped up to where i don't have any control over ANYthing that happens to me. i have such bad luck, i don't even want to have that possibility with this situation. i'd wake up with a gender change somehow!
all my other doctors have always taken charge and decided for me, BUT they always had my best interest at heart. they've always told me "no thats not a good idea and i won't do it because..." this doctor tunes more into hubby than me. hubby told me that he thinks i'm uncomfortable with this doctor JUST because he's agreeing and doing what (catch this) *we* want instead of how the military doctors do it where hubby says "they get paid the same amount no matter what hours they work and they just want the easy way out. the only reason they're a military doctor is because they couldn't make it in the civilian world"... i don't agree, i think it makes them MORE human to do that for way less than civilians get paid, obviously they have to have passion for their work and the people, if they get paid so little... right??
by the way, does it hurt when they break your water for you? mine i never felt it, but it's always gone naturally...
Ugh it's too bad you guys have to even have this discussion. I'm not familiar with military care or anything so I can't relate to that. It's just a shame it's THIS complicated!!! And not just about the baby, then you have the added burden of the surgery on top of that, ugh.
As far as them breaking my water, I wouldn't say it hurt, no. It was uncomfortable and awkward feeling. All I remember it feeling like was some pressure and a pinching sensation. They use that long plastic stick with a hook on the end and put that up there (hence the awkwardness haha), doesn't sound comfy does it? lol. But it's not what I'd consider pain. Though my brother in laws's sister just had her first baby a couple weeks ago, and apparently she threw up after they broke it- but she's a bit of a whimp. ;) It could have been from the change in contractions that made her do that though, since it definitely intensifies things. It was nice last time having it broken before any contractions started because they came on hard, and I didn't have several hours to get used to contractions with a buffer there.
Like you, my biggest fear has always been a c-section. I have different reasons other than the recovery for not wanting one, that is the last of my concerns actually but.. I know several people that have had them and said they were nothing. Probably depends on your body, your pain tolerance, how fast you heal, and how much you have to do ya know. Still, I pray I never need one.
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now you have me curious as to why you don't want one? ha ha curiosity kills me!
i feel awkward just getting a pelvic. i dread them. ask hubby, i take two baths before and two or three after. i feel really "dirty" even though it is a doctor. i've always been like that. i'd hate to see how i felt if he breaks my water ha ha
i've heard friends say they puked after having their water break b/c of the sinking feeling in their tummy. everybody in my family has had a c-section with all of their kids, so they think i'm a freak for having them naturally :P no help from them! as far as pain tolerance, i have a high one. tolerance in general, i have none. with aiden i had over a dozen stitches with no anesthetic and didn't cry, but BOY was i frustrated with the doctor.
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well ive had both of mine by c-section so i realy dont know any different. i personaly dont think it hurt that bad, esp.the second time, but then again my pain tolerance is pretty high i've decided... seriously, seriously, find a different doc. i cant believe this is happening, it would honestly scare the h*ll out of me if i was being treated like that under those sercumstances. my Gyno, and family doc. are like friends with me, they are wonderfull people, and im so comfortable with them I feel i can tell them anything. you'll know if the next one is right. i hope you can solve this problem. what a horrible thing to have to go through. and while youre all prego! bop your husband on the head good and proper for me ok?
for heaven sakes if a man told me he knew what was better for my prego body than i did!?!? i'd laugh him off the face of the planet! :D
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Haha it's just a personal thing with me and having the experience of birth, just didn't want to step on any toes of people that have had c-sections ya know. I would feel it was completely stolen from me and that I failed in numerous ways. I often have nightmares of giving birth and not having any memories of it, like my memory is blank or I blacked out somewhere during the process. It might sound silly to some but it's a HUGE thing with me. But I know very well that birth is something you really can't plan and that you don't call the shots ultimately so I go in aware of that, just doesn't change the fact that I would be devestated if I couldn't have a baby naturally. I know me, and I wouldn't want to deal with all the emotions I would be left with. :-\ Blahh