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BPO Off Topic Forum => Anything Non-Dog Related => : schelmischekitty August 30, 2007, 05:06:14 PM
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last night i got an uber big surprise. my mom's boyfriend asked brandon to call his daughter in north carolina to help her get into the army. well, when hubby called he answered, "hey, this is sgt miller, your dad is dating my MIL" to which he got the reply of "WHAT?!" this really blew up in my mom's ex-b/f's face. she was really nice about it, and understood we had no idea what was happening, but she was also nice enough to fill us in on what was going on. 3 years ago, mom went to el paso (activated for the army) and met ron, and they started dating. apparently, he hadn't even moved out of the house he shared with his wife (who he is STILL married to) and didn't do so until a few weeks after the year they spent in Tx. long story short, he lied to my mom about being divorced for THREE YEARS now. not only that, but he also failed to mention that he has a SECOND girlfriend in tennessee that he visits quite frequently, and has been lying to everyone about where he's going. not only that, but he has been "at work" when he spent the past TWO Christmases with US (to his family and g/f)! he was supposed to fly to MS to see my mom today, and told his family that he was going to greensboro to see friends. well, he is. at least he's flying out of there to go see my mom. after katrina, he told his family he was going to help a guy friend. yeah, that was my mom. when he told my mom AND his family he was going to see his dead grandfather's grave, he went to see his OTHER girlfriend. i'm sure you all get the point about what he's doing. i can't believe it. it's so upsetting that he's played everybody along for this long, not to mention that he's done this to his family for even LONGER. apparently, while they were in TX a guy from his unit e-mailed him and his daughter saw it, saying "don't worry, we won't tell anyone about your new g/f, esp. not your family..." i'm so shocked that someone would do that for him. i could keep my mouth shut, because it's not my business, but not flat out lie to people! mom talked to a guy in her unit a few weeks ago b/c the b/f has been proposing to mom (while married with a second g/f!) and the guy was shocked and said, "but...kim... he's still married!" which set my mom to thinking, but she didn't say anything to me, because she said she's embarrassed about the whole thing. i can understand, but i wish she would have let me know, if nothing but for some consolation or something.
some people can go so low, i can't begin to explain how i feel about him now. esp. since we let him into our house, no questions asked, for holidays, etc. and invited him with open arms for everything. i always try so hard to be nice to him and make him comfortable and now i find out he's been taking advantage of us the WHOLE time. :'(
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OMG As if you don't have enough going on right now!!! I feel like I'm reading something for Dateline! I'm so sorry that you and your family and for that matter his family have been betrayed in this way.
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Wow real nice guy (NOT). I hope she flushes him right out of her life. What a slim ball he is. I know how you feel though about letting someone into your life and then finding out really bad things about them, You feel completly violated. I did anyway. Hope your mom gets through this ok.
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Wow! I feel for your Mom and the entire family. Has his current wife been told any of this? Or the other g/f? I would say this guy has just lit the fuse- his whole life is about to crumble down on his head by the sounds if it. He's got some serious karma coming his way for sure!
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it was a REALLY big shock (and super upsetting) that he's doing this. i still can't believe it, and i sure enough didn't believe hubby when he told me when he got home last night. he acts like such a good guy! mom was going to let him fly to MS and then confront him in person and leave him at the AP. i told her i didn't think that was a good idea b/c apparently he'd been in some trouble for hitting on his daughter. i told hubby it's scary just HOW sincere he seemed and how well he covers his tracks! for instance, saying he's going to greensboro to see friends, actually driving there (putting miles on, the car is out of town, etc) and THEN flying to ms and telling my mom that it was "cheaper" to do it that way.
mom gave him the boot the SECOND i called her and told her what i had found out. i was so worried how she'd react, i was shaking while i was telling her (she REALLY liked him).i feel really bad for her, because she really is a great person (maybe a little too independent, but some guys like that) and deserves a great guy in her life.
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Wow! I feel for your Mom and the entire family. Has his current wife been told any of this? Or the other g/f? I would say this guy has just lit the fuse- his whole life is about to crumble down on his head by the sounds if it. He's got some serious karma coming his way for sure!
his family and hubby / i filled each other in on EVERYTHING last night. it's going to blow up on both ends. as for his other g/f, she's in tennessee, and that's all we know about her besides the fact her name is theresa. unfortunately, there's no way for us to tell her. karma is definately coming his way!
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Well your mom will find someone that will respect her and love her the way she should be.
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eeek. as someone who usually likes to give folks the benefit of the doubt and someone who has been through the stickiness of a failed marriage, i really can't find the goodness in this situation. sounds like this guy may just use whatever woman is available at the time.
hope that your mom can find someone to treasure her for the wonderful person i'm sure that she is.
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Wow. That's a sticky situation right there. You know, some people really suck at being human beings. But Karma will step in at some point. Fear not, this man will get his just deserts. His wife will get his house, his kids won't talk to him anymore, and neither will anybody else hopefully.
Hey keep your head up, things are about to get really interesting, and now you can just chuckle to yourself and say "you had this coming a**hole". There's nothing wrong with opening up your home to someone your mom is dating, especially since he seemed like such a nice guy. He probably never really meant to hurt anyone. He was just too greedy and stupid to realize that someone ALWAYS ends up getting hurt in these situations. So just rest assured that your mom is no longer with this creep, and that he's gonna get what's coming to him.
Oh yeah, I also wanted to add that I'm sure your mom will find herself someone worthy of her. Sometimes you run into a few pricks before you get to a rose! ;)
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oh, he's definately going to get what's coming to him! his daughter / wife / son aren't talking to him, and i can pretty much guess this'll get brought up in divorce court and his wife will get most everything because of it.
hopefully mom will find someone! anyone know any great guys in mississippi?? even mobile?? there's this one guy i know that is super uber nice and looks and sounds like sean connery (he's older but OMG he's a catch even for an older guy, i'd have hated to see him my age!) but mom says he's too flattering, he likes to be uber nice, and compliment everything and he's super observant and, well, he seems perfect (maybe too perfect but we've known him for years).
i'm already sitting back and waiting for the show to start, since we're the ones that got the ball rolling (well, not technically, he told hubby to call his daughter!). his daughter and wife said to keep in touch, they're super nice considering (not that it was our fault) what they're going through and the ex b/f's daughter is still working with hubby to see if she can get into the army or not.
p.s.- thanks for moving this to the RIGHT section ha ha, i meant to but put it in general instead while i was caught up in a ditzy moment :-\
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Good for you guys! :D
Doesn't it feel good when you can take your revenge and do what you know is the right thing to do at the same time? ;)
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it does, but i still feel bad for telling everyone the news. i told hubby maybe we should have called the ex and said " you know we know, so you can either be a man and admit to everyone OR we'll do it for you." i'm really big on giving people the chance to "get right with the man upstairs AND the people down here" but hubby said the ex has caused enough damage and he doesn't think we should give him that option, so we went ahead and called my mom and talked to his family.
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I'm sorry that your mom is going through this as well as all the rest of the families. It really sounds like he was looking for a way out of this mess but didn't have the backbone to admit it. Why else would he have your husband call his daughter? He had to know that something was going to be said about how they know each other. It always does.
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originally, hubby was supposed to call her b/c she had problems getting a waiver to get into the army (hubby is a recruiter right now). we're not sure if he did it on purpose, or if it was pure he wasn't thinking type of thing. he sounded really shocked and nervous when hubby called and asked why his daughter was so upset when he said the "your dad is dating my MIL" comment.
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Can you mother change her locks? This guy may have sounded like a nice guy, but he clearly isn't. On top of that, all of that karma that's coming his way is likely to make him mad. People like that often feel entitled to what they are doing and are angry when their plans are interrupted. You mentioned that he "hit on his daughter", so I wasn't sure if you meant that he got physically violent toward her or he made sexual advances. :-\ In either case, if I was your mom, I'd want a nice shiny new set of locks on my doors! This guy sounds like a piece of work.
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he physically hit her, according to them. mom never gave him a key. she's VERY particular about her locks and changes keys every 6 months anyways. sheesh, i don't even keep up with them anymore. if i go down i get one and then i give it back b/c it'll be different next time i go down lol. i don't think he'd do anything, but again, my mom has a gun (and keeps it loaded at all times) and he knows that. not to mention she's one of the "big shots" (as far as the cops, emergency teams, etc go) in our small town (she runs the ER so everybody knows her and watches out for her). he knows better!
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he physically hit her, according to them. mom never gave him a key. she's VERY particular about her locks and changes keys every 6 months anyways. sheesh, i don't even keep up with them anymore. if i go down i get one and then i give it back b/c it'll be different next time i go down lol. i don't think he'd do anything, but again, my mom has a gun (and keeps it loaded at all times) and he knows that. not to mention she's one of the "big shots" (as far as the cops, emergency teams, etc go) in our small town (she runs the ER so everybody knows her and watches out for her). he knows better!
Good! ;) :)
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Hmm.....what a jerk! I think I read in one of your messages that he's in the military? If so, his CO should be notified. The military really frowns on things like this~! Not only could Mr. Jerk lose his family, but, he could also lose his job/career and RETIREMENT~!
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Hmm.....what a jerk! I think I read in one of your messages that he's in the military? If so, his CO should be notified. The military really frowns on things like this~! Not only could Mr. Jerk lose his family, but, he could also lose his job/career and RETIREMENT~!
I wondered about that! I've never been in the military but my brother was years ago and got involved with a married (though seperated) woman. It was really frowned upon......... ;) In this case though, the (later) ex-husband got a good deal. My brother ended up married that piece of work...agh, cough, choke..... :-X ::)
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he's in the reserves, so i'm not so sure how that works with them. i know with active duty it can cause a LOT of problems for the offender though. he's a major, also (sadly), so it would probably wipe him out, or put him up for early retirement since he's only a few years away anyways.
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I'm reading this going: OMG thats my life!
I was dating this guy since high school. He went into the Army and was stationed in Germany for 4 years. During that time we were engaged and happy blah blah blah. His mom was moving so I packed up his room at her house and found cards and pics of him hugging this chick. So I asked him about them. He had a "good" reason that I can't remember. Okay fine I'll let it go. Then I'm on his aol account and an IM pops up "I love you!" um..what?! "This is the only blonde in your life." Oh yeah, it was over that night but again good excuse "We broke up before I met you when she moved to NC. I guess she thought we were still together but I swear we're not." Then I found pics of him and her hugging while in training at a mall. "Her grandparents asked us to pose." Benefit of the doubt. So he comes home, we get married, he goes to Iraq. Never comes home on R&R. "It was denied because I'm needed here." I asked a DS friend of mine "bulldinky" but okay we'll figure it all out when he comes home. We're in our base housing 2 hours after he comes home "I want a divorce. I just don't want to be married right now." Turns out that while he was in Germany he got a chick pregnant who was of a different race. His Sgt, didn't like that at all and would deny most of his vacation if trying to travel home and not within Germany/Europe. (The mother won't let him see the kid because of the crap he pulls and the lies ;D). The blonde knew nothing about me and was told they were together. I found out that two months after our divorce was finalized, he got remarried (his mother had to call and brag about how beautiful it was and how adorable her grandson was) to another girl in Texas. I found out about all the girlfriends, baby, and wife in two phone calls after the divorce. Let me tell you, I would have dragged him up oneside and down the other of that courtroom if I had known.
My DS friend gave me the number to Finance. He was collect dependant pay and housing while we were divorced. They also didn't know about the child, because child support wasn't being taken out properly. I was told "Thank you! We'll look into this!" He called me a few weeks later "WTF DID YOU DO!?" LMAO they kept his pay for like a month!
He got out of the Army, and went back to Iraq as a civilan contractor for the last two years. He's been home 3 times to see his wife and when she's not in the room he talks about all his girlfriends to my FIL and step-MIL who I'm still close too. I'm waiting beacuse Karma is sneaking up on him and it will surely be a site to see!
So yeah, sorry about the length but I can see the wife's side. If there are viable and legitimate excuse and you love that person so much, your blind to all the red flags. Now looking back I'm just like "what an idiot! Why did I not put A and B together!"
Now the only man in my life can talk back, has an attitude, is furry and snores but he's always happy to see me and loves me unconditionall y! ;D ;D
You and your mom will look back one day and laugh at the comedy of errors that this is right now. It may not look that way and you all feel betrayed but he will get his. My thoughts are with you all though.
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LOL that's an aweful story, but i can't help but laugh about how everything came back around to him! i wanted to name our daughter karma (i think it's super cute and if she's anything like me it'll be fitting!) but hubby says no b/c it's just jinxing him! mom went out the day after all this happened and spent hundreds of dollars on stuff she REALLY didn't need ::) i wish i could do that. she's back to her normal self, though we did get into a fight b/c she was a little bitter about it and took it out on me for some reason ??? not sure what that was about, but she apologized and said it wasn't anything i did. i guess i would have a moment of bitterness too if someone told me all the stuff that my hubby was lying to me about though.
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I won't lie. I was bitter and a little vengeful too. I know it's not right but dang it he started it!! LOL ;D I took some of it out on people that didn't deserve it but I knew that the people I was crap too were my friends and family and knew that it wasn't them but everything just build up and I was going to explode.
Good for you mom picking her spirits up! I wish I would have done that! I had to get a car though. He crashed mine just before the divorce (not on purpose). A girl drove out of the PX parking lot right in front of him. Turns out she was a Major's daughter that wasn't supposed to have her friends in the car! Yeah, that was great! The PX was at the top of a hill but she still got the ticket and I got a rental grannie mobile for 2 weeks to drive all my junk home to FL then had to go back to GA to get my car. Ugh men! (No offense to the good ones here!)
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that sucks!! at least it all worked out for the best, though! i'd sure want a reason to get a new car if i left hubby lol, i'd probably crash mine just to spite him! where were you at in ga? we're at mcpherson right now.
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Well I was at Ft. Gordon. LOL Basically the entire time we were married and he was stationed there he was deployed (he left the Army about 6 mos after our divorce. Go figure!). I loved it! I miss Georgia so much! It was warm in the summer (not blister like here), cold in the winter, and far enough south to be away from my family in NY!
I know where McPherson is! I used to go that way up to Gattlinburg around Christmas time, or taking "him" to Atlanta Airport.