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BPO Off Topic Forum => Anything Non-Dog Related => : AudgePadge June 04, 2008, 11:14:50 AM

: What is WRONG with me??????
: AudgePadge June 04, 2008, 11:14:50 AM
I'm so...lost? I'm not sure if that's the word for it...

I work at a university, and I was attacked on campus this morning...than kfully I have the lungs of a howler monkey and I'm pretty "okay" in self-defense. After some screaming, punching and wresting, I got him off me, and  the guy got away, I didn't get a good look at him to ID him, I can't even remember how tall he was.  :'(   I called campus police, but they can't do anything since I can't ID him.

So here I am, oober parinoid, I didn't even tell my boss just because I don't want the gossip going around, JUST IN CASE it was someone I know...

This jerk is still out there, and I couldve done something and i DIDNT!  What's worse, this has happened a couple times to me before (I used to live in ghetto Long Beach, muggings, assaults happen daily) and I just don't get...wtf is it about me that makes me so..."easy"!!!  I'm a total magnet for crazy people...

I was sooooooo angry at myself, at the Piece of *bleeeeep* that tried to touch me...at the police for not being able to do anything, The university should have cameras and stop making all the parking lots sooo far away from the buildings!!


I just needed to vent...anythin g to keep me from breaking down over here...Because now I'm just numb...
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Nina June 04, 2008, 11:18:22 AM
OMG I am so glad that you are OK. That just gave me goose bumps. You are so lucky that you didn't get hurt and you were able to defend yourself. Don't blame yourself that he got away. But they university should alert women that this creep is out there and to be on the alert.
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: marypyrs June 04, 2008, 11:24:57 AM
OMG!!!!!! I have chills! Are you OK? I mean - of course you're not ok - but ~ ~ ~

I second Tina.
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: People Whisperer June 04, 2008, 11:38:36 AM
Oh my, how scary! I have to agree with Tina, please tell about the incident to as many people as possible and definitely call the police.
(((HUGS)))
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: aggghgmom June 04, 2008, 11:39:44 AM
I am so sorry that this happened to you today.

I have to agree with the other posters you need to take this further - if the campus security won't do anything, take it further, local police, your boss, the president of the school.  All the females on that campus are in danger and something needs to be done about it.  

As far as you not doing anything you did the very best thing you could you got that creep away from you!!

I will be thinking about you today.

Randy
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: AudgePadge June 04, 2008, 11:40:49 AM
Thanks for the well wishes...I hate this feeling of helplessness.. .

Campus police told the boss, who's a doctor...so I got unofficially checked-out...I'm okay...no broken bones or anything, just scratches, pretty little bump on my head...  :-\  I filled out the report, the union and Campus police said they'll take care of everything for me, including a special parking permit that allows me to park up by the front...but it doesnt make me feel any better, my female coworkers still have to walk...

They're sending out a campus-wide email..."they" I mean Campus police, are so efficient, I guess this happens enough for them to get it down right... Which is...so sad...

: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: AudgePadge June 04, 2008, 11:44:20 AM
Audrey, I'm worried about you...Is there anyone you can talk to? Or anyone who can come pick you up to spend the rest of the day relaxing? 

:) Thanks Julie, I think I'll be okay...I'd rather be at work, in my little cube, distracted...m aybe I'll go get some ice vanilla cream...or frozen yogurt...might be healthier...

: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: navarre1316 June 04, 2008, 12:05:00 PM
OK, first of all; thank goodness your physically ok.  Second, if this happens so "often" then the campus should really start thinking about some more securtiy options.  It could be something as easy as cutting down bushes!!  I think I would make a flyer and post them all over the campus telling the girls to be aware.

And speaking of being aware.....what do you do when you walk from your car to work, or your house for that matter, are you looking at the ground, are you going through your purse, do you walk slow, hunched up?  I know some people think 'yeah, right'; but the way you carry yourself, and your actions, does effect the chance of a person being attacked or not.  It may be something trivial, but think about how you walk or when you get out of the car do you look around, take notice of the people around you.  An attacker watches those that they are going to assualt and if you are paying attention to your surroundings they will more than likely leave you alone.  Walk tall, walk like you own it!!

You did nothing wrong, you fought back and made as much noise as possible, which (as far as I'm concerned) is what you should do if you are in a public place where someone might hear you.  Good for you!!!

: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Icerotti June 04, 2008, 12:26:09 PM
I am glad you were not hurt physically. I can't agree more with what the others have posted. Please talk to someone about what happened. :)
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: AudgePadge June 04, 2008, 12:35:14 PM
I'm talkin you guys... :)

I know what you mean, I've been on the phone w/the madre, (old skool vietnamese) she lives in NJ, but it feels like she's here...the nagging and the swearing and the crying...and more swearing.

So far, I've told all the women in my department via email, and gave out the number to security, police...but my hope is frail, since there isn't much they can do if I don't remember what he looked like...Just some guy in a black sweater and jeans.


And speaking of being aware.....what do you do when you walk from your car to work, or your house for that matter, are you looking at the ground, are you going through your purse, do you walk slow, hunched up?  I know some people think 'yeah, right'; but the way you carry yourself, and your actions, does effect the chance of a person being attacked or not.  It may be something trivial, but think about how you walk or when you get out of the car do you look around, take notice of the people around you.  An attacker watches those that they are going to assualt and if you are paying attention to your surroundings they will more than likely leave you alone.  Walk tall, walk like you own it!!

Someone told me I walk a little more "carefree" than I should...maybe that's it...I'm always in lala land, but I always have my keys ready before I exit the building, I wear tennis shoes since I have a little hike to the parking lot, my head is always up searching for where I parked my car.  But thanks for the info...I'm going to be extra super aware from now on...
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: jesday June 04, 2008, 12:48:33 PM
I agree with everyone. The more people who know, the less opportunity this weirdo has to strike again. I bet you could get permission to bring one of your BP's with you to work as a sort of 'service dog'. Serving to protect you. No one would bother you with one of them at your side. If you can't bring a dog maybe you could start a fashion statement with a pair of brass knuckles ;)

I am so sorry for you. I have a daughter attending a university and I have to say this is one of my biggest fears for her. They are allowed to carry pepper spray.

The ice cream sounds like a good idea and don't forget to get some slobbery kisses when you get home.

: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Apreston June 04, 2008, 01:17:36 PM
I am so happy you are making a voice for your self. This is an Extremely Traumatizing sitiuation and you should not lower your voice not by one octive!
Whatever this guys intentions were they were wrong!
The most important thing right now if that you have a voice and that you tell everyone around to be on high alert and watch for this guy! That might deter this man from striking again!
I have first hand experiance with "keeping it a sercret" and it feels so much better just to let it all out and cause awarness to those that are in hiding.
I am relived that you are ok considering what has happened to you....try to relax and get some rest tonight!
Lots of love and kisses
Adrienne
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Sillygoose June 04, 2008, 01:57:47 PM
I'm so glad you're (OK) in a sense. Go home tonight take a long hot bath with a BIG glass of wine and relax. Hopefully now because you did go forward with this, the  scum bag won't try it again and if he does I pray he gets caught. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Scootergirl June 04, 2008, 02:39:04 PM
First of all, I'm so relieved you fought him off - good for you! It's more important that you ended up unscathed (physically, at least) than being able to identify him.

Second, I echo what Navarre said - walk with a purpose. When you step out the door, look around you, walk with your head held high, walk swiftly, but confidently and keep your keys in your fist - NOT between your fingers like your mom may have taught you.

Next, check with your local police department and see if they have a R.A.D. (Rape-Aggression-Defense) program http://www.rad-systems.com/programs.html

This is an excellent self-defense training for women. I took the basic and the advanced and, it not only trains you how to fight off an attacker, but gives you the confidence to believe you can and the knowledge to be prepared for it every time you are out.

If it's not offered by your local police department, why don't you appeal to the college to try to get a program started on campus?

One of the great things about the program is men (with the exception of trainers) are NOT allowed to attend any part of the classes (so the creepies don't learn how to counter-act what they teach you). To graduate, you have to fight off your instructor. It's scary, empowering and fun.

Keep us posted on what happens - and take care of yourself.
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: brooklily June 04, 2008, 04:59:42 PM
Hi. Im so sorry this happened to you. Please drop me an e-mail or a p.m. if you would like to talk or possibly some profesional advice. Self defense is my field of expertise and how I make my living. I would be more than willing to help in anyway I can.  Again ,im so sorry you are dealing with this. but dont feel odd contacting me , I deal with this every day. ( sad to say)   Suzanne  bringtheax@comcast.net
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Ali June 04, 2008, 05:45:05 PM
Damn. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you've gotten good advice and you've done all you can on your end. It's WONDERFUL that you stayed safe. The only opinion I can offer that hasn't been offered already is: screw the yogurt. Get the ice cream. Lots.
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: 2Criminals June 04, 2008, 06:16:21 PM
I can't speak for the States, but here Campus "Police" are special constables...i e, they passed the physical component of the Police test and that's it. Call your local Police!
If you really think you are an easy target, there are some things you can change...1) Don't talk on your cell phone when walking to your car, it makes you distracted and you don't pay attention to your surroundings.. .2) Put your car key/ house key between the knuckles of your first two fingers, chances are you'll draw blood if attacked....3) Canadian campus' have safe-walkers to walk you to and from classses, cars... late at night, if you have them, use them!! Pepper spray is illegal in Canada (don't know about the states) and truely if you have never been exposed to it you may become more of a victim---it BURNS,I can't even explain to you how much, you can't physically open your eyes, takes at least 10 mins to keep your eyes open and navigate the world by yourself again, it drops people to the ground (good for attacker, not for you), and it is a spray, which makes it difficult to use outdoors, chances are you will get some on you too.

And don't get down on yourself, your screaming did the trick!! So what if you didn't beat him up, what would you do after you did anyway?
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: KiraNGunnersmom June 04, 2008, 06:37:52 PM
can you call campus police for an escort to and from where ever you are going. Years ago(eons actually)when I was in college a girl was attacked and she was granted a personal escort after because the creep got away.  Do you have anyone to walk with you if that isnt an aoption.  Several of us girls and a few of our guy friends would walk together.
Chin up and be strong, as scarey as this may be dont let this fool see that he has the best of you.  It only impowers him!

modified for spelling
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: DAMAGE June 05, 2008, 09:13:07 AM
So very sorry this happened to you, hon. You have been given some very good advice by your friends here. May I add something? DH is retired police and former boardmember of local 'women's advocacy' group. Sometimes it is the circumstances around you that make you the victim not your demeanor. Have you allowed yourself to get into a recognizable pattern? Leave work always at the same time? Park in the same spot in the parking area? Walk the same path to and fro? Drive home using the same route? Change it!!! Don't give a potential stalker a routine where he knows where you will be at a given time. This goes for all you ladies out there. Try hard first, not to put yourself in a position where you have to fight off an attack. Done preaching. And hon, talk about it. Don't let it pray on your mind. Find a women's assault group, or even just us, but don't let this creep keep you terrorized emotionally. Okay?
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: AudgePadge June 05, 2008, 10:02:03 AM
Good Morning/Afternoon I guess, depending where you're at..

Well...I feel today, is a better day.  I got to park super close...almost better than the handicap parking...whic h I totally feel bad about...

I have an escort on call, should I ever need one :)  And...asking if I could bring Monty into work with me didn't fly... :-\  But I tried...

Thank you EVERYONE who sent me loves and advice <3 I appreciate it more than you know...You guys are awesome...I'll  keep you posted if anything comes up :)
Thanks again
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Icerotti June 05, 2008, 10:04:31 AM
Glad to hear your day is much better. Too bad they didn't go for allowing Monty to come to work.. ;)
: Re: What is WRONG with me??????
: Newly Newfed June 05, 2008, 12:19:06 PM
I'm glad to hear you are doing better today.  I second everything everryone has said regarding staying safe.

As for not being able to ID the guy, I hope you aren't still beating yourself up about it.  Yeah, he's still out there, but I'm guessing he came at you from behind (the coward scum bags usually do), and during the struggle, you were literally fighting for your life.  No one will fault you for putting that as your priority right then.  Who knows what could have happened if you didn't fight him off.  I'm sure that went through your head too.  I can bet you anything I and a lot of other women wouldn't be able to ID him after that either.  Spreading the word that he is out there is doing plenty enough.