Big Paws Only Dog Forums
Newfoundlands => Newfoundland Discussions => : Newf Lover October 03, 2005, 11:01:23 PM
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There is nothing more dangerous than a big, black dog that likes to sleep on the floor of a pitch black hallway. I got up to go to work this morning, went out of our bedroom into the hallway and before I knew it, I was on the floor. Drake prefers to sleep on our hardwood floor, opposed to his nice soft dog bed in our bedroom. He starts out on his dog bed when we go to bed, but usually he gets up and goes to lay in the hallway. He decided to lay right next to the door last night and with the shorter days we are getting now, it's still dark when I get up. So as I'm tripping over him this morning, he doesn't even move and barely lifts his head as I crash to the floor. This isn't the first time he's done that, I think he's trying to kill me so it will just be him and Sarah. Maybe I should change his name to Oedipus.....Â
Has anybody else almost been inadvertently killed by their dog?
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My near death experiences are more from tripping over their toys....You would think with having a son that I would used to it, but he picks his up LOL...Stepping on hooves isnt fun
I am glad that you are ok though
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OMG..LMAO. ;D ;D
Oh I can so relate to your pain. Puck lays in the hallway at night sometimes after starting in our bedroom too.
Black hallway+Black dog+no contacts or glasses= many sore elbows, knees and heads.
Then he looks at me like what is your problem I was sleeping!!!!!!!! ::)
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Sasha does this too. She sleeps between our bed and the bathroom so if you have to get up in the middle of the night it's like an obstacle course. She always acts very offended if we trip over or step on her. ::)
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Hmmmm, Gwen usually tries to kill us with her toy that we call the "bacon ball". It's like a teeth-cleaning ball with little nubbies that protrude out, and it tastes like bacon, hence the name. The nubbies are death if you step on them. She will leave it laying around the house in the dark so that we step on it, or bring it up on the bed and hide it in the covers so that we roll over onto it. All you hear is "AAAGGGHHHHHHH. ... BACON BALL!"
Ranger tries to kill us in a variety of ways. He cuts and rips our flesh with his super sharp paws and dew claws. I bear many scars from the dagger dews... He lays where we can trip over him. He zoomies around the house and then crashes into us for lovin'. He forces us to rub his belly until we die of boredom.Â
And, he tries to sacrifice us to things he is afraid of...Â
Yes, he tries to sacrifice us. I have mentioned this before, but twice when Ranger has seen something that really scared him (a dummy that we put up for Halloween) he has barked at it, and then run around behind one of us, and stood up on his hind legs and planted his paws in our back, pushing us forward towards the thing he is scared of. He is like "Here, take the redhead!"...Â
I think he thinks if he creates a diversion, he can escape while we are being eaten....  ;D
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OMG!! I'm laughing so hard right now!! Oh these stories are just too funny. I can also relate so maybe that's why I find humor in others misfortunes.
Ramsey my maltese tried to kill me everyday, but he's not a big paw so he doesn't really matter here.
Koby doesn't try to kill me but I've gotten hurt more by the stupid things I've done around him! For instance, he tried taking both my feet off by using his outside cable. He likes to wrap around ya with the cable the take off like a bat out of h*ll! He's actually taken my legs out from underneath me and I've fallen outside flat on my back. Then you know what happens.... ya gotta stand up as quick as possible and look around to see if anyone is looking at ya! ;D I actually have war wounds from that d#m# cable! Tony needs to put up a fence, but I think he gets a kick out of my injuries.
Newf Lover.... I've actually tripped over Koby too, but it was during the day! You have a perfect excuse because it was dark out and you didn't see him. Me being the dork that I am got to talking to Tony and thought Koby had moved so I went to walk and tripped over him and fell flat on my face! Koby didn't even move, he stayed sleeping the whole time! I guess that teaches me not to walk and talk at the same time! :-[
Andi
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Zoey has deffinately tried to kill me, but my near death experiences have more to do with her stepping on me than the other way around. She is very clumsy and doesn't realize that she ways a million pounds. When we let her on the bed, and she wants to change sleeping positions, she will sometimes accidentally step on Dan or I instead of the mattress, and occasionally just stand there, with all of her weight focused on that one paw. I have said the phrase "help, she's squishing my vital organs" more than I would like...
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My dobbie, Jax, who is no longer with me, was once lying in the dark on the slate (as in very very hard) floor of my parents house. I was running to get the phone and went flying when I hit him. I landed on my elbow and should of had stitches!
A friend (big guy, 6'4") got taken out at the dog park. Blind sided by running dogs. He had to go the emergency room, because something happened to his knee. He said it was very embaressing when he had to explain at the emergency room what happened ;D That just goes to show you to pay attention at the dog park!
Summer tried to kill me last week. On our morning walk (ie, I'm half asleep) she's walking like a good girl when all of a sudden she see's a squirrel and charges across the street. It's pretty quite because it's 6:00 am so I would have dropped the leash if I could, but I had wrapped it around my wrist. So she's dragging me across the street and I'm barely able to keep my feet under me and she pulls me into a stop sign and I got a bad scrape the length of my forearm. Good thing there wasn't anyone around to hear me swearing!!!
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Grumpy, YOU ARE SO FLIPPIN' HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHA ! I'm laughing so hard right now...."Here, take the Red head!" HAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAH! That is too funny.
So, now that I've moved to the farm, there is Cabeza, (my BLACK dog), Lex (my BLACK cat) and Reggie (my landlady's BLACK dog). They all sleep in my apartment at night. Its three stinkin black lumps. I usually trip and fall three times on every "trip" (pardon the pun) to the bathroom. So, Newflover, I can SO relate.
And grumpy, Cabeza has a similar medievil torture device, err, I mean bone. But its the Minty bone. Its a nylabone with a minty middle. But, its got the nubs and all. You can't see it that well, but here it is:
(http://www.nylabone.com/assets/nylabone/products/fulls/60.jpg)
It has caused many a toe injury in the middle of the night.
Also, my cats are on a mission to suffocate me in the night. I'm sure of it.
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Oh, and Newflover, I'm crackin' up at the thought of you renaming Drake Oedipus! hahahhahaha!
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Yeah Nicole, I'm really thinking about renaming him! Drake is such a TURKEY!!! It seems as if he likes to sleep in the worst places possible, dark hallways, right next to the front door and he gets all indignant when we make him move. Grunts, deep breaths, the whole enchilada. I think that's why he trips me up, REVENGE for making him move.
After hearing everybody's dog-in-the-bed horror stories, I glad he doesn't like sleeping in our bed. He snores really loudly too which wakes me up in the next room. Also, I can just see him stepping on my groin with all of his Newf weight, OUCH! Or rolling over into a big pool of Newf drool. YUCK!
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I've learned to do the "Midnight Shuffle", move slowly, and only lift your feet 1 inch of the floor.
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I got up in the night and rammed my foot into Hightower, 170 pounds of sound asleep newf. I broke 3 toes, missed a week of work. He slept on........
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I do the midnight shuffle too. Apache usually lays in between the bedroom & livingroom so I feel for fur with my toes. I really like the full moon nights otherwise the only light I put on is the one over the stove.
Carolyn
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I got up in the night and rammed my foot into Hightower, 170 pounds of sound asleep newf. I broke 3 toes, missed a week of work. He slept on........
Have you guys gotten Webster yet??? ???
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Once I was playing with them in the house. We were running circles through the hallway, kitchen, living room and family room. They were all following me. At one point one of them went the opposite direction and as I came around the corner, I was hit in the legs and went flying over the dog. I'm just glad that I didn't hurt any of them or break any bones.
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Newf lover, yes, I have had Webster since a week ago Saturday! Cute little critter... sleeps with his tongue out. Wonder if he is just dreaming up ways to trip up his momma!
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I don’t know his name. But you guys have just made me realize that the rottie that lives at the garage on the corner is a serial killer! Or at least he’s trying to be…
See, I take the bus to work because it would cost me almost $200 a month just to park in the garage at my office and I categorically REFUSE to pay that much when I can take the bus for $52 with a monthly bus pass. I’ll just drive my car at night, thanks very much. Taking the bus means that every morning and every evening, I walk past the mechanic’s shop on the corner twice a day. This business got taken over by new people over the summer, and they installed this rottie on the lot. He has a dog house, and a long chain, and he socializes all day long with the customers, and appears to be a generally happy creature. In the mornings when I walk by the fence, he walks up, and pants, and paws and whines, and just makes a big display of wanting to be petted and loved on to everyone who passes the fence. It’s on a street where there’s a school, so a lot of kids stop and pet him through the fence, and he just about licks their hand off. In the daylight, he’s a Quaker Dog—you know, doesn’t believe in violence of any kind.
BUT AT NIGHT!!!
At night, he has another personality. One that I have seen many times and thought quite funny, but in light of this thread, it takes on a sinister meaning….
At night, after the garage is closed and the gates are all locked, he is let off his chain to guard the property. He goes into the middle of the yard with a big chew bone, and lays in a pool of light that lets him see the whole of the fence line, and he gnaws on his bone.
When he sees someone walking past one of the gates, he gets up and quietly walks toward them; if they go around the corner, he follows them along the fence to the second gate, until it comes to the fence on the other side. This fence is one of those dual fences that has chainlink covered by boards on one side. He will follow you right to the latch of the gate into this fence
Now, there is a gap in the fence boards about 30 feet down the lot; it’s between two racks of stacked tires, and it’s very, very dark there.
As soon as a pedestrian gets past the gate and he can’t be seen anymore, this dark black, apparently killer-in-the-night Demon Dog RUNS down the fence to the gap in the boards…and he waits, in the dark for them to walk past the gap…
AND THEN HE SPRINGS!!!! He starts roaring, and jumping against the chain link, sounding like 40 kinds of h*ll!
Of course, MOST people scream and jump, or trip and fall—the other night, it was a kid on a skateboard who JUMPED up, came back down one footed on his board, which then went FLYING out from under him down the street into the next yard (almost killing the evil ChiaHuaHua that lives there, the nasty ittle bitch), and doing almost a full backflip before he hit the ground on his hands and knees. (Since he was coming from the skateboard park across the street, he had his pads on, so he was fine, if freaking out.) I, to be honest, had to sit down on the bench at the bus stop I was laughing so hard. The kid was not amused.
Once he elicits this reaction, the Demon Dog trots back to the middle of the yard to await the next pedestrian. And every night, he meets me at the gate, quietly padding along until we come to the fence; then he runs like mad down the fence, and stands waiting.
Because I know he’s there, I can see when he arrives, the pink tip of his tongue lolling out of his mouth, sticking thru the chain link. Oh, he WATCHES for his victims, yes he does Precious, he watches.
I of course, don’t scream. I let him roar and jump and make all kinds of noise, and then when he finishes, I tell him he’s a GOOD BOY!
All this time, I thought that the Demon Dog was just playing. But clearly, he’s trying to kill someone, and won’t be satisfied until someone has a heart attack right there by the fence!
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Oh, he WATCHES for his victims, yes he does Precious, he watches.Â
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, that was too funny! I am, at times, mildy amusing, but I bow down before the master!!!!!
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Well let's see....between being knocked down, thrown into walls, bruising every part of my body, almost suffocating from being laid on, causing my nose to bleed and causing countless other injuries I'd say that if Bear was a person he'd be a lawsuit waiting to happen. ;D He has no clue about his size or strength or the fact that I have neither in comparison to him, so my getting hurt is my fault. Even though I am in pain on a regular basis I laugh about how funny it is. I would take having to have knee surgery from being clipped in the leg too many times (happened to my breeder) over any small dog any day.
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When Samson was 7 or 8 months old I took him outside to potty on his retractable leash...We didn't have the fence yet...Well I was walking back into the garge & had my right arm kind of beside but to the back of me & all of the sudden WHAM!!!...Samson had run the other way & I thought he was following me...Well, he hit the end of that 16 ft. lead & my arm was yanked back...I thought I'd dislocated my shoulder...I couldn't even grip tight enough to pick up a pair of shoes for 2 days after that!
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It's good to hear everyone has a good attitude about this. I know some evil spirited folks that would probably kick their dog for tripping them up in the early hours of the morning. As startling as it is, I always laugh it off. Drake has even bonked his head into my chin and made me bite my tongue, REALLY HARD!! As much as it hurt, I just walked it off and all was OK. I know he didn't mean to do it, he was just excited to get the ball. Just like he doesn't mean to trip me up, well....  maybe THAT'S no accident! :-\
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It's good to hear everyone has a good attitude about this. I know some evil spirited folks that would probably kick their dog for tripping them up in the early hours of the morning. As startling as it is, I always laugh it off. Drake has even bonked his head into my chin and made me bite my tongue, REALLY HARD!! As much as it hurt, I just walked it off and all was OK. I know he didn't mean to do it, he was just excited to get the ball. Just like he doesn't mean to trip me up, well....  maybe THAT'S no accident! :-\
Yeah, it was an accident... that's it.Â
Oedipus....I mean, Drake, didn't mean to.Â
He says "Wow, you look tired, Daddy.. Why don't you take a nap? Here, in the car. In the garage. With the motor running...."  :D
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My problem isn't tripping over Bubba in the middle of the night... My problem is trying to get OUT of the bedroom in the middle of the night. You see Bubba likes to lay in front of the door on his back with all 4 legs up in the air. And once Bubba is sleeping he doesn't like to move. So there I am trying not to pee myself while I'm trying to slide the him out of the way (since of course he won't wake up) so I can squeeze out the door to get to the bathroom. Then the fun part is trying to get back in the bedroom since he's positioned himself back in front of the door again. LOL
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I know I've tripped several times, by some unexplained dark force hugging the carpet in the hallway.. we must have ghost.Â
Once when I was home for lunch (About 15 yrs ago) I was playing with my sheltie, he was still a pup. We were running back and forth down the hall, and I jumped a box-fan I had in the doorway to get into the kitchen. I heard a really loud noise and saw stars, I later woke up on the kitchen floor with my sheltie licking my face. Yup, I had knocked myself out on the doorway.  I guess he won that round, sneaky turd :)
They got a good chuckle out of that one at work, because I called in when I came to and said I hit my head and I'm going to be out for the rest of the day. They didn't know to call an ambulance or what, but thought it was hillarous at my expense the next day when I told them what happened. :P
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One night I was bringing Dozer in from a walk in the rain and Mud. I had on my hiking boots with big ridges in the bottom. I kept him on the leash after we got in the house because I didn't want him to run all over the carpet with his muddy feet. We came in the back door through the kitchen and hallway into the Den where his crate was. We were moving pretty fast, but when he hit the carpet he changed gears and pulled me really hard towards his crate. Well my hiking boots just dug into the carpet and I fell like a big tree. You know, kind of like slow motion and then My eye hit the corner of the crate. I got a black eye :o :D. I don't think anyone at work believed my story 8)
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EYUP
regular occurance here, one gal with st bernards she rescued recently broke her toe.
ROTFL!! :o
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Tenchi has tried to kill me twice. Once I made the mistake of falling asleep on the couch and not taking Tenchi into consideratioin . I woke up and could hardly breathe and couldn't move my arms or legs. :o Turns out that Tenchi thinks his momma has enough padding to be used as a bed. Yup, a hundred something pounds of dane sprawled directly on top of me, head to toe. lol
The second attempt at offing me, needed better planning and a tool.. the dreaded longline. :-[ Remember playing bullwhip when you were a kid??? Well Tenchi was walking along feigning innocence when they came outta the blue... the ZOOMIES! Tenchi hits full speed and the end of the longline at about the same time! Then there goes his momma flying through the air and then skidding through the ice encrusted snow to a stop, with a zoomie dane still at the end of the longline. :o Oh yeah, that hurt.
However the closest to death I've ever come has not been from a Big Paw, actually it was from a couple of the smallest paws I've ever had! Two ferrets... I was still in HS and was cleaning up my room, so to keep myself entertained I let my two ferrets out to play. The white one, Mickey, was a cuddley sweetheart that my aunt had had to find a new home for. The chocolate sable, Pandora, was a mischievous youngun who had been a friend's. However her step-father had insisted she get rid of the little one so I of course agreed to take her in.
So there I was playing with the ferrets, when I turn around to get back to cleaning my room. All of a sudden I hear and feel a crash at the same time. I had set a 5 ft tall, oak mirror precariously atop a fan, so that I could clean around where it normally stood(stupid, I know...). Suprisingly, the little imps had knocked my mirror off of the fan and onto me. The mirror then shattered into a zillion pieces over my head, many of which pierced my hands. The largest piece ended up severing my left middle finger's tendon completely. ::) So after surgery and months of being in a cast that made me give everyone the finger, I still have a slighly irrational fear of large areas of glass. It doesn't matter if they're mirrors, windows, tables or whatever, they now scare the bejeesies outta me. ;) LOL
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I have a six month old Newfie Bernese cross dog called Zed (in the vain attempt that he wouldn't consider himself the Alpha). He is very adept at that wrestling hold that dogs use to pin down the girls, only he saves it for my legs when I'm walking down the stairs, I've nearly ridden him down the stairs many times. He also likes to run full pelt at you and dissappear between legs...this is all very well at the moment, he can still just about fit. It is however a problem for those who don't know what he is intending to do. A baby newfie cross can give a serious headbut in just the wrong place to the unprepared.
Francesca
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Remember my nighttime Demon Dog at the mechanic's on the corner?
He's made another attempt to kill someone.
We could see the red and blue lights flashing all the way down the street last night, but when I got off the bus and walked around the corner, I discovered that they weren't at the 7-11 (which is infamous for it's parking lot accidents), but right outside the mechanics gate! It was a police car and an ambulance, with a guy being loaded into it.
On the sidewalk, about 5 or 6 feet from the gap in the boards, a mangled bicycle had knocked over the large cabinet that houses all the cable connections for my neighborhood. The cops are walking around, measuring things.
Demon Dog came up to the gate and gave me the look, like he always does, and then as I passed the gate, went tearing down the wall to wait...I could see his pink tongue as I walked down the street toward his hidey hole.
As I walked up, one of the cops said, "Look out--there's a guard dog right here by the fence.
No sooner had he said it than the Demon started his usual act. I just smiled at the cop and said, "I know. We play this game every night. Is that what happened to the guy on the bike--got startled and ran over the cable cabinet?"
The cops just started laughing.
I still didn't have cable when I left for work this morning. But a dog's just gotta have fun, ya know? ;D