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Messages - Stacey

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Great Dane Discussions / Re: Help me! What do I do?
« on: September 10, 2007, 08:57:26 pm »
I really want to thank everyone for their kind words and support, this has been a very difficult adjustment.

Sam is doing fine, and there doesn't seem to be any lasting repurcussions from the incident.  I think, for Sam, the whole thing happened so quickly that he doesn't even realize what actually occurred.  He doesn't seem to have any lingering fears or anxiety over dogs, he still wants to chase Zoe, our poodle mix, all over the house.  Sam, being so young, doesn't realize what has happened, nor does he grasp that Tonka is gone.  Macey, my 6 year old, on the other hand, had a difficult time and I think, initially, she was angry at Sam and blamed him.  We talk about it and she knows that aunt Misty has Tonka and she will be able to visit him and he will visit her.  She has come around and accepted this and is excited about getting to see Tonka with Gracie and Rosco very soon.  I have told her we just need to wait a few weeks and give Tonka plenty of time to adjust to his new home and his new family before we go see him, I don't want to confuse him.

I know, without a doubt, what happened was not an "attack" or a "mauling", it was just....I don't know, it was not vicious, though.  Given the fact that Sam has a mark on his cheek that is about 3cm long and his chin that is about 2cm, I realize that if Tonka was angry or attacking the damage would have been far worse.  I just know that if I had kept Tonka, every move and sound he made would have been completely overanalyzed by me and I would have overreacted and been nervous and anxious, and that would have only made him nervous and anxious.  There is also the fact that my son is visually impaired, he is legally blind and his vision will only continue to deteriorate as time goes on.  This event made me consider other scenarios, like my visually impaired son stepping on or tripping over Tonka one day, because he didn't see him, and hurting him or compelling Tonka to protect himself or retaliate.

This turned out, in light of these events, better than I ever could have hoped.  The day all this happened all I could think about was what would happen to Tonka, what if he was neglected or abused, what if he didn't adjust, I just would never know.  I know that Misty will take care of him, I know that he will be treated exactly the way he should be, I know he will be very happy.  I get to see him, I get to know how he is doing and my daughter, who loves that dog, doesn't have to let go completely.

Thank you all again for your help and support, it means so much to me.  I am comforted everyday when I hear from Misty and she tells me about how Tonka is adjusting well.  Here are some pics of Tonka and my Sammy:

Great Dane Discussions / Re: Help me! What do I do?
« on: September 04, 2007, 01:38:46 am »
Thank you all for your support and advice. Please understand, I know that I cannot keep Tonka, it isn't an option for me.  It wouldn't be fair to him because I can never fully trust him, I would be living in fear and it would be a disservice to him.  I can't subject him to me helicoptering all the time and my fear dictating my reactions to every move and sound he makes.  I don't want to make him worse, I don't want to add to the anxiety he already suffers from.

Misty (Gracie Belle) is going to take him  for me.  She knows Tonka and loves him a lot.  When I told her what happened and that I was looking into rescue groups she offered him her home.  I get to know that he is well taken care of and I also get to see him whenever I want.

This is still so hard for me because I love Tonka so much.  This whole situation is so heartbreaking, it really has me physically ill that it has come to this.  I can't stop crying and, even though it is comforting, knowing that he will be loved and cared for doesn't help me feel completely better because he won't be with me.  I do love this dog, more than I can put into words.  He will be available to visit at my whim, but I still feel empty, it still feels like I've lost him.

Great Dane Discussions / Re: Help me! What do I do?
« on: September 03, 2007, 11:02:53 pm »
I don't know what happened, to be honest, I didn't see.  The whole event was over as quick as it happened.  Ever since we moved back, Tonka has had issues.  We were living with my parents for a few months when we first got out of the military, before we got our own house here and I have some relatives and aquaintances to thank for these fear issues he has.  There was always someone, my uncle, my dad or one of my brother's friends, who thought they would get a testosterone burst by intimidating the giant dog.  My dad, thinking he has a total handle on Ceasar Milan's methods, would stare Tonka down and raise his voice until Tonka would cower, my uncle would do the same thing.  My brothers friends would come over and stare him down and make barking sounds in his face.  They thought it was hilarious to scare him, they would throw rocks on top of the tin car port so they could laugh as Tonka tucked his tail and ran for cover.  They would run up at him barking, and if he barked back or growled, he would get started down and yelled at.  I would get angry, I would tell them to cut the sh*t out and leave him alone.  I told them they were going to make him fearul and they were putting my children at risk with the behavior they created and encouraged.  They finally stopped, but they only stopped when I was watching, I would find out that they were still doing it all when I wasn't there.  When we finally moved to our own house, the damage was obvious.  Tonka was visibly afraid of all men, something that had never been a problem before.  Female guests were always welcomed with leans and licks and excitement, men were met with caution, apprehension and fear.  Even still, children were always Tonka's favorite guests.  DD would have friends over regularly, at get togethers my friends children were always excited to play with Tonka, birthday parties were held and Tonka was always playful and affectionate.  One day, on a walk, a neighbors daughter came running outside (she was 5) stood face to face with Tonka and screamed at the top of her lungs, not 5 inches from his face.  Tonka buckled, he growled, barked and lunged at her.  I yanked the leash and he immediately layed down, but that was the turning point with children.  From that day forward, he feared children, if any came to the house he was apprehensive, he would growl at them and bark, I had to keep him seperated from visiting children after that day.  MY children were never an issue, not once, especially Macey.  Sam has always been supervised with Tonka, he is small and is still learning how to be gentle and careful with animals, but Tonka has never behaved negatively towards him.
Now, today, I am faced with this.  Because I don't know what happened, I can't take any chances that there will be a next time.  I want to make the right decision, I want to do right by Tonka, but I also know that I cannot pretend this didn't happen and have him do it again, to my kids or someone elses.

I am just so confused right now.  I don't know if there is a right answer or a good outcome.

Great Dane Discussions / Help me! What do I do?
« on: September 03, 2007, 09:44:37 pm »
It has been awhile, I know.  So much has been going on.  We have been moving, Macey has been getting ready for and starting first grade, Sam has had appts and ECI for his visual impairment, DH has been home from and back to Iraq....there just hasnt been a lot of time, lately.

Today has been, undoubtedly, one of the toughest days of my life.  It is all my fault and I feel like I have failed miserably at parenting and dog ownership.  My son, 20 months, was watching TV and Tonka was asleep.  I wasn't paying attention, I wasn't watching Sam, I was mopping the floor.  I heard a loud growl, an aggressive and angry growl, it happened in a second.  Sam had gone to pet Tonka, I guess (God, he loves that dog...he doesn't say dog, all dogs are "konka"), and I don't know exactly what happened.  I heard the growl, by the time I turned around Tonka had retreated to a corner and was laying down, tail tucked, head, ears and eyes down and Sam was curled on the floor crying.  I snatched him up and his face was covered in blood.  I grabbed my purse and took him to the ER.  There was a nick on his eyebrow, his eyelid, just under the eye and under his chin.  They cleaned him up and, thankfully, it was mostly superficial but he did require 3 stitches in his chin and 3 stitches under his eye.  He is doing fine, thank GOD, and when we came home he wanted to go see "Konka".

My heart is breaking right now, I am so confused.  I KNOW, I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is my fault.  I cannot keep Tonka, though, I can't live in fear wondering if it was a fluke or if it will happen again.  He has always been so loving with my children, though a recent event has made him nervous and fearful of other children.  What do I do?  I won't take him to the shelter, I don't want him to be stuck there, I don't want him to not get adopted and then be put to sleep surrounded by strangers and fearful.  I also can't take the chance that he will end up with a home with children and his next victim won't be as lucky as Sam.
Part of me says I need to take him and have him euthanized, and be there with him while he goes to sleep so he sleeps feeling loved and comforted.  The only other option I have is a rescue organization, and I don't even know if he would be a candidate.  I don't know what my options are.

I have become everything that I hate.  I have preached to people about being responsible and supervising children with dogs.  I have preached about not dumping your pets into rescues and shelters when they are no longer a convenience.  Here I am, though!  My baby has 6 stitches because I suck as a parent and can't do that job and I am trying to decide my dog's fate because I suck as a pet owner and can't do that job.  I have failed both of them in this situation and I don't know how to remedy this.

If anyone can help me or offer suggestions, I would appreciate it.

This is Misty's (GracieBelle) newest mooch, Roscoe.  I took the pictures this weekend while they were visiting. 

Newfoundland Discussions / Re: Of all the wierd comments...
« on: May 08, 2007, 08:41:06 am »
OH MY!!  That is weird!  Why on earth would someone want to smell a dog?  I love to smell puppy breath and babies, but I don't like to purposely smell my own dogs most of the time, much less someone elses.

And that is quite an interesting guess on Bear's breed.  I would have cracked up!

Groans, Gripes, Brags & Boasts / Re: GRRRR Mean people
« on: May 08, 2007, 06:06:21 am »
It was one of those meanie groups that led me straight to BPO.  I was so glad I found this site.

Great Dane Discussions / You know you own a great dane if:
« on: May 08, 2007, 06:02:18 am »
the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"

you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair

it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets

you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are

you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch

you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty

your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!"

you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle

you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house

after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake

you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog

visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively

you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway

you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns

you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub

your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time

you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink

you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog

while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window

you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling

you avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup

you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"

the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment

 your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal plane

you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink

the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose

your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation

you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, you take a short (but fast!) ride straight to the door

the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk

your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change

you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television

after surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's office-- pulling the rolling IV stand behind him

Games & Jokes / Re: haha...a little naughty but cute
« on: May 02, 2007, 04:36:36 am »
LOL!  Sammy does that, not to a doll, but I think it is hilarious!

Anything Non-Dog Related / Re: Fever experience- kids
« on: May 02, 2007, 03:31:40 am »
My daughter, when she was teething would get a fever and the poos and be sooo fussy.  With Sam, he has no symptoms, just new teeth.   ;D

It is so hard not to worry about the kids though.    :-\

OMG!!  Congratulation s!  Lucky you, to sail through that nauseous period without even an eyelash batting!   ;)

Medical Conditions & Diseases / Re: Help Grace is sick NEED ADVICE
« on: May 01, 2007, 04:54:21 pm »
Sounds like Tonka a couple of months ago.  They just chalked it up to gastritis, sent us home with some anti nausea med, 2 antibiotics.  They told me not to feed Tonka until he had not thrown up for 12 hours.  He couldn't even hold down water, I had to give him an ice cube every couple of hours.  My carpet shampooer paid for itself that weekend.
Hopefully the vet tells you it is nothing serious, and she clears up with some meds.
Me and the crew will be thinking about Grace!

Games & Jokes / What kind of dog is your husband/boyfriend?
« on: May 01, 2007, 08:33:45 am »

My husband is a cross between a
Great Dane:
Protective but not aggressive
He knows how to relax
Good problem solver
Gentle giant
and a Boxer:
Playful — physically and mentally
Protective but not aggressive
Able to tune the world out

Games & Jokes / Re: Fall classes now open for men's enrollment :D
« on: May 01, 2007, 03:15:33 am »
OMG!!  I love it!  I wish it was real!

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