For your reading pleasure - my evening thus far...
Tonight when I got home from work I let both dogs outside and joined them in the back yard to take the night air. (OK, actually to clean up poop.) Gwen gets down to business and Ranger is just wandering around the yard staring at the sky and eating grass. So now I am cleaning poop AND yelling at Ranger not to eat grass.
By the time I am done cleaning the poop, Ranger still hasn't gone. This isn't entirely out of the ordinary, since Ranger is very fussy about going out in the yard and is basically like a poop/pee camel when he wants to be. He stores it up for when the time is just right.
I let dogs inside, take the trash and the poop bag up to the dumpster and come back inside to vacuum. As I am vacuuming, Ranger starts running through the house. To me this behavior could mean "Wheeee, I love the vacuum, c'mon vacuum, let's play" or "Eeeek, a vacuum. I must flee." I apparently don't speak the dialect of dog in which this means "Hey mommy, I am about to barf up all that grass I recently ate all over the carpet that you just vacuumed." So, I miss the signal and that proceeds to happen. All over the carpet I just vacuumed.
Ranger goes outside, and I clean up the carpet. When I go to let him back in what do I see? Yes, NOW he has pooped the massive stored-up poop he has been holding all day all over the yard I just cleaned. Not just one pile, but a "walking" poop. You know what I mean. A "traveling" poop.
What has Gwen been doing this whole time? Nothing bad really. Just being normal Gwen - wandering around looking at the house like she has never seen it before, standing directly where I need to be, walking right through the barf, and just generally getting in my way. Finally, I get fed up with her and put her outside too. Where she starts eating grass.
And after all this is done I go in the kitchen and notice I left the lid to the trash can on the counter. As I pick it up to put it back on the trash can, I accidentally push the thingy that opens the lid and the lid shoots up and whacks me in the boob. Hard.
I think I am officially over tonight.
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