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Topics - fila4me

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Games & Jokes / News Rules for 2007
« on: January 15, 2007, 11:02:23 am »
New Rules for 2007

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days--mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keep sakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some Jack Daniels over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his @ss will be in the morgue. Congratulation s, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the bunghole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gin gerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a moron.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your butt. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn' t a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned ex citing. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying" Do you want fries with that?"

---George Carlin

Games & Jokes / How to prepare for a puppy!
« on: January 12, 2007, 11:10:23 am »
*Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot
in the dark.
*Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.
*Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark saying, "be a good
puppy and go potty-hurry up now- come on, let's go!
*Cover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits must have white and light
suits must have dark. Also float some hair in your first cup of morning coffee.
*Play catch with a wet tennis ball.
*Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate
*Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.
*Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because that is where the dog
will drag it anyway (especially when you have company).
*Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV show and run
to the door shouting, "No NO! Do that OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the program.
*Gouge the leg of the dining room table several times with a screwdriver.
*Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning, and do not try to clean it
up until you return from work that evening.
*Take a warm, cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around
yourself. This is the feeling you get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.
Author Unknown

Pit Bull Discussions & Pictures / Please vote for Chynna.......
« on: January 08, 2007, 07:56:00 am »
Please vote for her! She has been in the contest for awhile and I forgot to request here! Sorry guys!

Pit Bull Discussions & Pictures / more Chynna......
« on: December 30, 2006, 09:08:51 am »
Christmas morning.......

Kellin took these...

Kellin and Chynna....

Kellin's Jeep!!!

Pit Bull Discussions & Pictures / My Chynna!!!
« on: December 20, 2006, 02:10:34 am »
Chynna and my daughter Kellin Rylee are inseperable!
They are so cool with each other!

Rare Breed Mastiff Pictures / My Dogos~ RIP boys
« on: December 20, 2006, 02:02:15 am »
My boys, Paco and Falcon have paseed on. But, crazy Gracie lives in FL with a very close family friend and will turn 11 next summer! I do not have very many pics of these guys. I will have to do a better job of searching! I have moved twice!!!! LOL!!!

Falcon, Gracie, Paco and me! In Wash.DC at the Cherry Blossom CLassic.

Thumper, Pappy and Gracie....

Paco at like 10 mos....

Fila Brasileiro Discussions & Pictures / My Filas~RIP girls!
« on: December 20, 2006, 01:54:34 am »
Unfortunately, I have lost both of my girls in the last 2yrs. But, I still think of them everyday and love to share stories and pictures of them with all who care to look and/or listen.

Jezzy at 9 1/2 months...

Her TT test(she got excellent, of course)

My Icca....and Jordan

with my kitty Shiloh

with my dogo Paco and friends daughter

at christmas present!!!

with my daughter...3 months before she passed

Introduce Yourself to the Forum / newbie from VA
« on: December 18, 2006, 11:38:16 pm »
Hi all!
I am a SAHM to Kellin, my awesome 3yro 2 legged daughter, Chynna Ann, my 8 1/2yro APBT 4 legged daughter and last but not least Bo, my 11 1/2yro Husky mix 4 legged son!

We live with my bf, their daddy, Kevin. I love to hike, travel, show dogs, play with my dogs and my daughter. I also
love fighting for my breeds of choice!! I am teaching my daughter already about being a responsible pet owner!

At 3 see already has her soapbox regarding "pipbulls", in her words!

I hope to bring some knowledge to this board and to also learn as I am here!!

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