Frustrated, bummed - need to vent...

[Ali]

We were a three dog family prior to our move to CA. I was devastated to have to part with two due to the circumstances (staying at dad's house who isn't a pet person but conceeded to one dog and three cats). I hated myself for being one of those "moving and can't take" @ssholes. Guilt and disgust abounded. As it turned out, we only stayed with my dad for ONE stupid week because we had found a house of our own in time, and just had to wait for our furniture. ANYWAY, here we are. CA is awesome. Love it! Don't miss Florida at all. Hubby's job is great, kids schools are great, Tani adjusted great and is still the best dog ever. But...I want another dog. I don't like being a one dog home. I'm home with Tani and my two youngest sons, so it's not that she's alone and needs a buddy but I would love to see her with a friend again. I rehomed my oldest dog, who would not have had a comfortable trip out to California (he stayed with my best friend in Florida, so it's like he was taken in by other family)(I pretend that helps my guilty conscience). I also rehomed my Birthday and Mother's Day PUPPY, Koji, figuring that he was so young, he'd have the best chance to bond with a new family. I only had him for about 4 months!!  . The whole thing sucked. Plus, Tani is my girl and I would never part with her for any reason, so that's how my dad conceeded. No way Tani wasn't coming with us. So NOW, I want a puppy again, one I get to actually keep, and hubby doesn't want one. I'm not even sure I want to do the itty bitty puppy again either, but he won't even consider a grown dog. I don't even really understand why not. Our new house has light colored carpet, unfortunately, whereas our FLorida house had NO carpet. Admittedly, it would be tough to have an unhousebroken pup without horrible things happening to the carpet. Last year when I got my puppy present, I was so happy and excited to pick out and raise a dog from the begining of it's little life, with nothing but our influence and our TLC. And then I didn't get to. I am just bummed, bummed, bummed. And for those of you who might be hoping to suggest that maybe he's planning a Mother's Day suprise this year - he's not. He just doesn't want to do it. Grrrrr!!!! OK, thanks for letting me vent. Let me say, though, that I am very greatful to have a wonderful and healthy family, an awesome dog who is perfect, and three soft, fuzzy lovely kitties. I am thankful for all that I have and don't want to sound like "oh poor me". I think, though, of all people, this board is the place to find kindered spirits who totally get what I'm saying!

[navarre1316]

I got Daphne three months before Navarre passed away, and I wasn't really "looking" for another dog.  Daphne turned out to be a great dog and I'm so glad that I get to spoil her for the rest of her life, but for the longest time my house still felt empty.  I don't have kids or a husband so my house isn't "full" but I can understand your feelings.  If I talked about getting another dog my friends and family would say, "well you have Daphne isn't that enough?" (even some friends with multiple dogs!!) Has your husband said why he doesn't want another dog?  I mean carpet shmarpet come on!!  And you don't sound like a "poor me" you sound like a "wwwwhhhhhhhhyy yyyyy"!!!  Here's hoping he changes his mind!

[Ali]

I don't really have anything concrete from him about why not. Some stuff about money, but I get shelter rescues, and never pure breeds. While a $500 - $1000 dog is NOT in the budget, initial vet costs certainly are. Even if I got a $25 puppy off CL, we could certainly foot the bill for new pup shots and spay/neuter (or, according to CL lingo, "spaded", "spade", "nuttered" or "nooterd") He grumbled about the amount of poo in the yard this weekend, but it's been raining here for about 8 days straight, and there is no way I'm gonna go scoop poo in the rain! BTW, it was not rainy today, and the yard is now clean. (Is it cheating if I paid my daughter to do it?) He hates the thought of our light colored carpet getting all pet stained and smelling like pee. That one I agree with, but there must be a way...like, getting an older dog rather than a pup! Still, puppy fever is relentless... The other thing he has mentioned is that we got two more cats. True. After the dogs were rehomed and the move date was looming, it was time for me to turn over the last two kittens from a litter I had fostered for a St. Pete rescue since the kittens were 2 weeks old. Couldn't do it, couldn't let them go. The original deal with my dad was that we could bring Tani and our one cat that we had. He was, uh, way less than happy when I told him about the kittens, but it all worked out just fine. The kittens curled up on my dad's lap once we got to California, and he was hooked. So, I told hubby that the kittens were not "instead of" - they just happened. (And they are so cute and awesome!) He doesn't see it that way. He maintains that we got kittens, so that fills the space at our inn, so to speak. Sooo...I feel like a child, like I want to have a tantrum and cry and whine "but I waaaaaaaaaant one!!!". However, as my kids can attest, that method is NOT effective!

[mynameislola]

How about saving money until you have enough for an emergency dog surgery or two and then asking again?  You will feel lots worse if you get a pup, it has an accident, and you have to put it down because of budget issues. 

Our rule is $5,000.00 in the bank per dog.  So far, every dog I have had drained their accounts years before they crossed the bridge.  Cody had his down to $0.00 before he was two.

I feel your pain.  My hubby won't let me have any cats.  Something about me being allergic...

Side note from me, the risk manager, the $5.000.00 is AFTER saving a minimum of six months of expenses.

[Ali]

5k in the bank per dog??? Holy crap - that will never happen! I've never spent more than $100 bucks a pop at the vet for Tani. One time she had a limp that turned out to be a sprain. Am I lucky, or do dogs really have that many problems? I do the mixed breed mutt thing, and that is actually one of the reasons - I'm hoping to avoid some of the breed specific issues like hip displasia, ect. Our greyhound needed dentals every six months, but even that was only $85 each time. I also get the low cost spay/neuter certificates on line if I haven't gotten the dog from a shelter that does it first.

[aggghgmom]

How about saving money until you have enough for an emergency dog surgery or two and then asking again?  You will feel lots worse if you get a pup, it has an accident, and you have to put it down because of budget issues. 

Our rule is $5,000.00 in the bank per dog.  So far, every dog I have had drained their accounts years before they crossed the bridge.  Cody had his down to $0.00 before he was two.

I feel your pain.  My hubby won't let me have any cats.  Something about me being allergic...

Side note from me, the risk manager, the $5.000.00 is AFTER saving a minimum of six months of expenses.

Modified because I hit the wrong button

Wow that is very impressive - When our springer got sick toward the end (although we didn't know it was the end) I opened a credit card just for her bills - I think it wound up at around 2,000 many vets around here are soooo expensive.  But our vet is loving and great to me and my dogs so I hope for the best and pay it.


Ali, I am in very much the same position as you - my hubby doesn't want another dog - and doesn't really adore Harley (who is a BIG pain in the neck).  It is hurtful when our spouses don't take our feelings into consideration.  My hubbys reasoning isn't money it is the amount of work he needs to do for the dog (he does all the poop patrol and some of the vacuuming), but still I do everything for the skin kids.  Anyway, I think hubby would go for a small dog - or maybe a rescue but not what I want and since I am older than some on this board I figure this is my last shot at a big dog and when I'm even older I can switch to a cute little dog.

My advise to you would be to hold on and try not to bring it up as often and make sure that you are taking responsiblity for Tani and hopefully, he will come around one day when you find the perfect dog...that is what I'm hoping my hubby does.

[Nicole]

haha, you probably don't want to hear it, but I'm going to speak on the side of your hubby.

While he might have been cool being a multiple dog person before, the absence of additional dogs in the house might be very peaceful and pleasant to him, and he may be getting quite used to having only one dog.

That's happened with us. We've always had Cabeza, and usually one (or more) fosters. When I adopted Mable, Mark wasn't super happy about it, but understood why and didn't grumble too much. He quickly fell in love with her (and she with him). After she passed, we kind of agreed, "no more dogs for awhile". Now that we're back down to being a one-dog household, its become very comfortable and easy to deal with. Granted, Cabeza is the perfect dog in almost every way. He's very very very mellow. But the point is, the poop is manageable, the food is manageable, when we go to the park or wherever, that is manageable. Everything has become much more manageable with one dog.

I know that there are plenty of people on BPO that say that its not that big of a deal to move from one to more than one, and I agree that in some ways it isn't. But I also know how its been both ways, and I must agree with my hubby. Having just one has become very comfortable and easy to deal with, and even I have decided that I'm OK being a one-dog household for awhile.

I know that I will want another in the near future, but it is nice to just enjoy Cabeza and dote on him and spoil him and not have too much else to worry about. (well, we also have three cats, they can actually be a total handful!)

So, anyway. All I'm saying is that hubby might just be getting comfortable with the idea. Maybe you should just accept it and enjoy Tani and enjoy hubby's contentedness. (is that a word?)

[Ali]

Yes, Tani has been enjoying lots of attention - that is soooo true! On our local CL, there was a post (I can't even believe I'm admitting I did this!) from some lady who was doing free "pet tarot readings by email". So, I thought, what the heck - it's free. So I sent her an email with Tani's name, breed and age, and my question was whether she prefers to be an only dog, or if she wants a friend. Her response was something like "I am getting from your dog that she enjoys the benefit of being an only dog, but it would be nice to have a friend, too." How non-commital is that?? Hey, I could do email pet readings, too!!