Author Topic: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing  (Read 6258 times)

Offline MSF

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Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« on: August 14, 2006, 03:05:02 pm »
   I know what my heart says
and I know what my mind says,

I guess I just need a little positive
feed back I am doing the right thing.
But I can handle it if someone doesn't agree.
Long story short.......
Niki (Pit Bull) entered my life as my granddawg  :)
about 5 1/2 yrs back, I always babysat her when my son and his wife went out of town, vacations, week-end.
About 18 months ago my son asked me to watch her for up to 3 months while they settled down on the east coast (I live on the west coast) I gladly accepted the job.
5 months later I was getting so attached, 3 months turned to 5 and 5 to 6 and 7.
I asked to keep her and they decided it was in her best interest to leave the dog with me since they worked the same shifts and the dog would be alone 8 to 10 hours a day.
I was home full time and Niki was always going places with me and my husband. She sleeps with us, we have spoiled her rotten.
My son has on 2 or 3 occasions asked for her back.
He just called me tonight asking for her back after we found a lump on her leg. You can tell he was near tears.
I told him, my heart feelings aside
NO cause I didn't think it was in her best interest.
Here are my reasons
1) When she came into my care my grandson was 2 months old, he is now soon to be 2 y/o
she has not been raised with kids although good with them.
2) I am home full time and they are gone 6:30 am to 4 pm
or longer at times. Yes they have a fenced in yard, but bored dogs are ones who dig and jump on my opinion.
3) I love her and DANG IT I have had her since Feb 05.

I feel bad saying no to my son. (He's 27)
I wish I could comfort him.
I truly don't believe after all this time to send her to a place where she'll be alone Mon thru Fri 8 hours plus is all that great. They never fed her table scraps and I do all the time, they were quite strict with her and I am not as strict.
Now she knew my son the first 3 yrs of her life and was trained by him.
Selfish heart says NO WAY
Motherly heart says  Son I don't want to hurt you.
I know you love this dog.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2006, 03:36:32 pm by MSF »

Offline newflvr

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Re: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2006, 03:32:00 pm »
I have to agree with you, for all the reasons you mentioned and one you didn't mention.   They have a son who hasn't been raised with the dog and it sounds like they both work all day and then to come home to a little boy who misses his mom and dad...I can just see that the dog will be pushed in to the background.  The kindest thing you can do is to keep the dog, have her available, of course, when they come to visit but she's used to being with you;  her routines are with you and she's happy being the queen!!  Why should she leave and have to 1)endure a long trip to a 2) place she doesn't know and 3) be with people who are really too busy for her. 

I'm on your side with this one!  Not a tough call at all!!!  Your son should get a dog when they have the time to stay home with it!

Offline brandon

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Re: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2006, 03:58:16 pm »
A while back they  decided it was in Niki's best interest to stay with you... I don't see where that has changed. 
I am guessing they still work, and now they have a kid, so the pup would probably not get their full attention, wasn't raised around kids. 
I really don't envy your position, but I would do the same thing, it seems only fair for Niki.
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

Gypsy Jazmine

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Re: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2006, 06:58:02 pm »
Aaawwww Mom...How tough for you!...You are absolutly doing the right thing but, no matter how old our children get, it is hard to do the right thing when it hurts them...I guess our jobs as mothers never end no matter how big our babies gets...Do the right thing just like you did when your boy was young & tried to make the wrong choices...Bein g a good mom can be so bittersweet can't it?  :-\ :-*

That meaning a good mom to your skin kid & your fur kid....Be strong as only a good mom can for both of your babies. :)


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Re: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2006, 01:37:29 am »
You already know my opinion...

Offline Good Hope

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Re: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2006, 05:13:46 am »
Saying no can be hard, but it does have to be said from time to time with all children, even those who are adults. Saying no now is necessary. You are doing the right thing. I really beleive your son is only asking because he is frightened regarding "his" dogs fate and feels guilty that he "abandoned" him to your care. He did the right thing for her before when he sent her to you. Unfortunately, emotions are talking now and not logic. I believe once a diagnosis is made, he will truly reconsider his thoughts on taking the dog back. Should he still seem to feel the need to have her once she has seen the vet, perhaps you could suggest that he consider adopting a dog that needs a home, who has been proven to be good with toddlers or adopting a pup? Just a thought.

IMO, you are doing the right thing.

Offline shangrila

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Re: Just need to hear I'm doing the right thing
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2006, 06:27:03 am »
I think you are doing the right thing, especially because of the baby
RIP former BPO