Author Topic: I'm so upset (long and whiney)  (Read 5050 times)

Anakalia

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Re: I'm so upset (long and whiney)
« Reply #15 on: December 07, 2006, 08:57:37 am »
I'm actually glad this discussion was brought up today.  It got me thinking about things and when Tony got home today we had a long discussion about the animals!  It's nice to sit down and talk about things and it not turn into an arguement. lol   

I'm so glad to hear you got flowers!!  That was so sweet of him!  Hopefully you can sit down soon and talk to him about what's bothering you. 

Nicole

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Re: I'm so upset (long and whiney)
« Reply #16 on: December 07, 2006, 08:34:19 pm »
Hmmm....I thought about it before posting too. Anyway, I'm certainly not trying to argue or dredge up dead horses or whatever, but since I made a post that might have had "glaring issues between the lines" I thought I'd clarify as well.

Yes, I sort of expect Mark to pay for the vet bills and dog/cat food. But, he also expects that he will have a clean house, dinner on the table, breakfast made for him before he leaves work, etc. Its not a Donna Reed situation by any means, its just the division of labor around here. My perspective on it is this. Just because I don't bring in the same amount of actual CASH that he does, doesn't mean that I shouldn't have any say in how its spent, or weather or not its spent on something I want that he doesn't. I work every bit as hard as he does (sometimes harder, honestly) and I think that if I want a dog, I should have it.


I'm not asking for 200 dogs. I'm not asking for a $5000 dog from a breeder. I DO take care of all of the cleaning, feeding, grooming, walking, tick-pulling, de-fleaing, de-worming, poop-inspection, etc. So, I realize that there should be a give and take, but I think that goes both ways. I mean, I don't feel that he has any more right to say "NO!" flat-out than I do to just bring a dog in without asking.

I don't mean to sound nuts. I guess I just get sensitive about the money issue. When you said that its unfair if we expect him to pay for the dog. I don't see that as unfair at all. If I were to work full-time outside the home, a LOT of the things that I do now wouldn't be done.


Offline aggghgmom

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Re: I'm so upset (long and whiney)
« Reply #17 on: December 07, 2006, 09:29:28 pm »
I don't mean to sound nuts. I guess I just get sensitive about the money issue. When you said that its unfair if we expect him to pay for the dog. I don't see that as unfair at all. If I were to work full-time outside the home, a LOT of the things that I do now wouldn't be done

Believe me I totally understand the money thing.  I work 30 hours a week at a job that pays next to nothing but it is in the school district we live in so I get all the days off the kids do (like today ;D).  My salary basically covers my daughters gymnastics and a few meals out.  My husband on the other hand supports the family financially but he couldn't do that if I couldn't do everything else (except poop patrol).  I do all the driving, dropping, buying, bringing, wrapping, delivering etc.  OK he cleans and does laundry.

He never has or never would say his money; it is our money. 

Offline longshadowfarms

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Re: I'm so upset (long and whiney)
« Reply #18 on: December 07, 2006, 09:54:09 pm »
I don't mean to sound nuts. I guess I just get sensitive about the money issue. When you said that its unfair if we expect him to pay for the dog. I don't see that as unfair at all. If I were to work full-time outside the home, a LOT of the things that I do now wouldn't be done.

I kind of knew I was stepping on scary ground with that post, but felt I needed to play devil's advocate to speak from the view of the side that really doesn't get represented here very much.  I didn't say or mean that it was unfair about a man paying for our dogs.  I just said that their concerns really needed to be considered.  Dogs can be very expensive and the total household budget needs to be considered and addressed before proceeding with a dog.  I used to work full time in a job that had a much greater earning potential then my husband and now I'm home full time.  I really do understand that this area can be difficult.  I do think though that we need to be careful to consider their concerns and at least talk it through.  A dog NEEDS to be fed and vetted no matter what.  They are not like other hobbies where if you're tight on funds you just don't make a new equipment purchase.  It is no different than having kids IMO.  It is vitally important that both parties be in agreement.  Just my opinion though so anyone is welcome to ignore me :D  I really am sorry to be the heavy here.  I know the opinion is not popular but it really did seem to need discussing.  If nothing else, then maybe we need to be extra careful to save up for any medical problems that might arise with our dogs so that they don't become a burden on the rest of the family.  Stuff a few $ away here and there in case something happens.  Just a few more thoughts that everyone is welcome to ignore ;)
Daphne

Kirsti

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Re: I'm so upset (long and whiney)
« Reply #19 on: December 07, 2006, 11:10:31 pm »
I'm so glad you started this thread, its helped a lot, as you all know, I am single...but that day will come, and I want to hopefully get some of this subject addressed before that day, and see if it eases some of my married life.... (not like there is anyone in particular, just speculating at the moment.) But I think just like money and hobbies and stuff, this also needs to be addressed.... thanks, I think I got an idea how to go about it now, when the need arieses...

~K