Have you ever lost someone close to you?

[SnydersDanes]

Recently my little brother past away. He was 22 and it was very unexpected. My brother and his girlfriend were murdered by her ex- boyfriend. There were four children in the house but none of them were harmed.It happened in Bowling Green, Ohio.

My brother and I were very close. I have been in Ohio for the past week and half. It has been horrible. I can't explain all the emotions I have felt. I am back in Oregon now and his funeral has past. It has been so hard to carry on with daily activities lately. Everything keeps running in my mind. I am so sad.

Have any of you lost someone? Any advice on things that will help ease my pain?

Thank you

Connie

[LibbyP]

Oh My Goodness I have never gone or felt what you are going through I just wanted to let you know how very sorry I am ~ Kim sending a hug

[schelmischekitty]

i'm so sorry.  i lost my brother to "questionable" circumstances in '96.  it was really hard, and still is.  there are certain things that remind me of him and still cause me to break down.  the pain never goes away, and never gets "easier," but you end up getting a little better at controlling your emotions.  there was a book i read, but for the life of me i can't remember the name, i'll try to find it.  it really helped me.  the best thing i can suggest is take some time, go out for a long walk and just think.  don't think about how he died, just think about the good things that happened.  my best friend told me that if my brother were here, he wouldn't want me to be depressed and a sobbing mess forever.  friends make things easier, but i've also found they rarely know exactly how it feels.  so sorry you're having to go through this, i know how hard it is.

[Anakalia]

I'm so sorry for you loss!  Is there any way you could find a Grief Counseler?  Some specialize in loss of family members.  They'll have books on grieving so you can try to understand a bit more about your emotions.  When my grandma lost her husband she found a counseler, and she said it really helped, because she just needed to talk about things, she was also very confused about all the emotions she was feeling and the counseler helped her sort through everything.  

[horsepoor21]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am and that I'm praying for you !

[Butts Mom]

I live just north of BG so I have seen all this on the news,I am so sorry you and your family are having to go thru this.I don't have any advice to offer just a shoulder to cry on if you ever need it and lots of prayers and hugs.

[Brownis15]

I am so sorry for your unexpected loss. I wish i could give you some words of wisdom, but all i can say is that we are all here for you and will listen whenever you need us. All good thoughts are coming your way!

[jabear]

I am so sorry. What a horrific situation to have to go through. The only people I've lost have been 2 grandparents 7 a great-grandma. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

[gerty647]

Connie,
Let me start by saying How sorry I am for this tragic loss.
I have lost a close family member,My little sister who was 14 died in 1995,She was healthy young girl who got a chest cold and ended up in the hospital.The doctor's were some of the best in the country and she died because of their mistakes.
My family went through all the stages of grief,but for us it did get better,We still miss her and would give anything to have her back,But we know she's in a better place.
Just know that everyone deals with grief in their own way
and don't feel there is a timeline for your pain.
I think it helped us by talking about her all the time,
We still do.Just know that your family are in my prayers.
Jackie

[GoldenPyrs]

That is so tragic, I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through.   I can only guess how devestated you must be.  Please know that we'll all support you in any way we can. 

[mama23+pyrs2]

I am so very sorry, that is such a horrible thing to have to deal with. Deaths are all difficult of course, just in different ways and this one is going to take a lot for you. I wish there was something that anyone could say to make you feel the tiniest bit of relief but I am certain, no one has that word. Time heals..so they say and in ways it really does. It doesn't stop hurting, but it hurts a little bit less as it gets more distant and only time can give that. A LOT of it. I think what hurts more is forgetting things. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers, I am so sorry. I've lost many family members, Grandparents, Step Grandparents, Uncles, but the very hardest was firstly my Dad because I was just a child and I couldn't comprehend his illness. And secondly because of the different relationship and cirumstance..m y husband- my oldest daughters father. He died in a car accident when she was 2- that was 7 years ago. It's like a movie that replays in my mind often, some times are harder than others and I have dreams all the time. The fact that he even lived seems hard to believe anymore, death can bring so many weird, surreal feelings and so many coping instincts. I still grieve, just in a different way, and I'm sure I always will.

*HUGS*

[SnydersDanes]

Thank you all so much. It nice hearing your advice and kind words.