About 18 months ago, my parents gained custody of a 4 year old abused and neglected child. They are his mother's aunt and uncle (meaning his mother is my cousin). She abandoned Dev in NY while fleeing police, and my parents stepped in to fight for him to be returned to the family, and then took him in.
Since they have had him, Dev has turned into a phenominally intelligent, outgoing, social and loving little boy. When he first came he was very sickly, not even potty trained, skittish (he had been abused pretty much every way possible) and had had absolutely no chance to learn anything normal 4 year olds know. For instance, he didn't know any colors, shapes and had a poor vocabulary (that wasn't curse words)
Now he is a tall, beautiful child, who has a great spirit. he is so darn smart, and is doing really well in school. He loves animals, particularly fish, and has expressed interest in being a marine biologist. He is active in sunday school and the church, plays sports, has friends and pets and loves life.
In the 18 months that they have had him, they NEVER spoke bad about his mother. I remember he was terrified of policemen (his mother having taught him that they take people away and lock them up forever) well my husband (at the time) was a police officer, so this had to change. We took him to HQ, where he met some very kind and generous police officers and got to sit in a cruiser and turn the sirens on and off. At first he was terrified, and the first thing he said to the police officer kneeling in front of him holding out his hand to get a high-five was "Are you the ones that took my mommy?" the officer instantly teared up and said no, that he only takes away bad people. Well, anyone who has kids knows that the next question would be: "Was my mommy a bad person?" I told him that no, his mommy was NOT a bad person, but sometimes good people make bad mistakes.
However, over a year passed with no contact (No letter, phone call, card, present etc) from his mother. Dev slowly stopped calling his mother "mom", reffering to her by her first name. He calls my parents mom and dad. My parents let him make this choice, and didn't encourage him either way.
His mother was eventually found, arrested and charged, and released. She was sentenced to 5 years in jail but was released in 4 months. She took off again and disapeared for several months, finally reapearing at her mothers house and agreeing to go into rehab.
She will be getting out of Rehab at the end of the month, and has told my parents she wants her son back. My parents are very torn, because of the condition they found him in, and the fact that Dev has said over and over again "Can I stay here forever?" and "I dont want to ever go back to Nanna's house" (Where he lived with his mom)
My parents have legal custody of him, but his mother still has her maternal rights, as she refused to sign away those rights when she was arrested.
To gain full legal guardenship will require a court battle with his mother, which my parents are not sure is right. They are struggling with the decision, because she is his mother, but has proven unfit.
This has been weighing heavily on my family's mind for several weeks now. As her release date gets closer, we can only hope she does what is best for her child, which IMHO is to sign her rights away, and walk away. She has still, not once, contacted her son.
Please, I'd like to if its not too much to ask, ask for well wishes and prayers for my parents in making this decision, and for the correct decision to be made by all involved. They just want whats best for Dev.
