Author Topic: The Stella Awards!! Hilariously stupid people roam our planet and profit from it  (Read 1168 times)

Offline specialkdanemom

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These people are the poster children for "the complete moron".  And to think they got paid for their stupidity.  I'm still dizzy from reading these.

Hot dog, it's time  again for the annual "Stella Awards"!  For those
unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully  sued the
McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased  the coffee

That's  right, these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and
verdicts that happened in the U.S. during 2006. You know, the kinds  of
cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your  head scratcher handy.
Here are the "Stellas" for the  past year:

To kick things off the right way,  there was a three-way tie for 5th place.

Kathleen Robertson of  Austin , Texas , was awarded $80,000 by a jury of
her  peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were  understandably surprised
by the verdict, considering the  running toddler was Ms. Robertson's  son.

Also in 5th place is Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California -  you
knew California had to be in the list somewhere,  right? - who won $74,000
plus medical expenses when his  neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda

Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of  the car
when he was trying to steal his neighbor's  hubcaps. Go ahead, grab your
head  scratcher.

The last of the 5th Place  winners was Terrence Dickson, of Bristol ,
Pennsylvania  , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of
the garage. Unfortunately f or Dickson, the automatic garage door  opener
malfunctioned and he could not get the garage  door to open. Worse, he
couldn't re-enter the house  because the door connecting the garage to the
house  locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to subsist for eight -
count 'em, 8! - days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of  dry dog food,
he sued the homeowner's insurance company  claiming undue mental anguish.

Amazingly, the jury said the  insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
for his  anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching.

There are more.

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in  the
"Stellas" when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical  expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next door  neighbor's beagle - even though the
beagle was on a  chain in it's owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as
much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might  have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because  Williams had climbed over
the fence into the yard and  repeatedly shot the dog w ith a pellet gun.
Grrrrr  scratch, scratch.

Third Place went to Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania ,  because a
jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay  her $113,500 after she
slipped on soft drink and broke  her tailbone (coccyx). The reason the soft
drink was on  the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30
seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being
responsible for their own actions? Scratch, scratch,  scratch.

Hang in there, there are only two more Stellas to go.

Second Place : Kara  Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a
night  club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton  was
trying to sneak through the ladies room window to  avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge, the jury said the  night club had to pay her $12,000 ... oh,
yeah, plus  dental expenses. Go figure.

Finally, (may I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)  this year's
runaway F irst Place Stella Award winner was  Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who  purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her  first trip home - from an OU football game, no less - having driven
on to the free way, she set the cruise control at 70  mph and calmly left
the driver's seat to go to the back  of the Winnebago to make herself a

Don't look so incredulous. Remember, we're talking about Oklahoma  here.

Not  surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturn

Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting  in
the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave  the driver's seat
while the cruise control was set. The  Oklahoma jury awarded her - you are
sitting down, right?  - $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago
actually  changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs.
Grazinski has any relatives who might buy a motor home.

Big to love'em!!

Karen, mom to:
Mika (GD)
Sera (GD/Greyhound X)
Shasta (Lab/Newf X)

Appollos (GD) RIP 2001-2005