These people are the poster children for "the complete moron". And to think they got paid for their stupidity. I'm still dizzy from reading these.
Hot dog, it's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"! For those
unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the
McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee
That's right, these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and
verdicts that happened in the U.S. during 2006. You know, the kinds of
cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.
Here are the "Stellas" for the past year:
To kick things off the right way, there was a three-way tie for 5th place.
Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas , was awarded $80,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised
by the verdict, considering the running toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
Also in 5th place is Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California - you
knew California had to be in the list somewhere, right? - who won $74,000
plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car
when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Go ahead, grab your
head scratcher.
The last of the 5th Place winners was Terrence Dickson, of Bristol ,
Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of
the garage. Unfortunately f or Dickson, the automatic garage door opener
malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the
house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to subsist for eight -
count 'em, 8! - days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food,
he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching.
There are more.
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the
"Stellas" when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the
beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as
much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over
the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog w ith a pellet gun.
Grrrrr scratch, scratch.
Third Place went to Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania , because a
jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she
slipped on soft drink and broke her tailbone (coccyx). The reason the soft
drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30
seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being
responsible for their own actions? Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Hang in there, there are only two more Stellas to go.
Second Place : Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a
night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was
trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000 ... oh,
yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
Finally, (may I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please) this year's
runaway F irst Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home - from an OU football game, no less - having driven
on to the free way, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
sandwich.
Don't look so incredulous. Remember, we're talking about Oklahoma here.
Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturn
ed.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in
the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat
while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her - you are
sitting down, right? - $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago
actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs.
Grazinski has any relatives who might buy a motor home.
