Women's Shelter taking in pets too

[lins_saving_grace]

I know he's an alcoholic...I figured that out a long time ago.  It's gotten much worse since I met him.  I can deal with a night out once in a while...but not every night of the week.  That's bad.  And he's told me he doesn't want to change and he's at the point now where he makes trouble so it'll piss him off so he has something to go out and drink about.  I mean something as little as the air wasn't working at his office one day got him so mad he went out and got arrested for DUI.  That's pretty dumb. 
I'm just not as strong as the drink in his glass (my life is always a quote from a stupid country song.) 

[GYPSY JAZMINE]

I love country music too!...There's often a whole lot of truth in the lyrics!...I was wrong about clicking on my anme to get message to me here...Click on messages by your name in the top right & then go to where you can send mail...Then you can contact me if you like...Know I am thinking of you though.

[lins_saving_grace]

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Icerotti]

oh Lins. I just want to give you one big hug (((((HUG)))). Just take care of yourself- don't forget who you really are.

[lins_saving_grace]

I try.  Normally it's quiet...I feed him...stuff his face and he can't scream then he passes out in bed.  But who I was a long time ago is somewhere I can't get to anymore.    

[GrumpyBunny]

There are choices for you...E-mail me here at the group if you need someone to talk to or some ideas on how to change your life...Nobody else is going to change it for you....I am thinking of you.

Lins, I second this.  I am here for you to talk to if you need to.  I haven't ever suffered any physical abuse, but I did have an ex-husband that wasn't too nice to me in a way that I am pretty sure was mental abuse.  I could never do anything right - he would tell me I was too fat, too ugly, too stupid and that no one would ever want me because of it.  It got to the point where I would just sit down and shut up because I was tired of all the arguing.  I felt like my whole personality changed.  But the point is, HE WAS WRONG and I deserved better.  And if you feel like you deserve better, well you probably do.  In fact, I am pretty sure of it.   Who you were a long time ago is not as far away as you might think. 

So, take me up on the offer if you want - email me.  We don't ever even have to talk about anything other than our doggies, but I want you to know that I am there for you if need it.

[GYPSY JAZMINE]

Oh yes you can Lins!   It's a long haul but worth the digging in your heals & putting bounderies up in your life for what is acceptable to you & then sticking to them!...You can't change him but you can insist on what you will accept in your life...You can change you!!...I know this!...What he is doing is much what a child does...They pitch a fit to have things "their way" & when the parent caves in the child learns that the negative behaivor pays off...Same as with our dogs...Think about how you can go about changing you & putting up bounderies for what is o.k. with you!

[DixieSugarBear]

If only Alpha boot camp would work, hehhehe. 

[brigid67]

Lins - You need to go.  It becomes a real vicious cycle with women and their abusers.  It may not have become physical yet but it is definately emotional and mental abuse.  You can not keep waiting - stating that you have to save money, or I have to wai for this or for that.  I have helped a lot of women leave in the middle of the night with nothing but their ID's and their children etc.  At least you will leace with your safety, your piece of mind, and your dignity.  I don't know - make yourself safe.  You deserve safe and you deserve happy.  Everyone does......

Just email me if yo need some help.

Timmie

[mixedupdog]

I've been there. Broken ribs, black eyes, fractured skull. Held prisoner. Walked 15 miles to the airport with a Great Dane and a suitcase, then got a friend to pay for a ticket and a kennel so I could go home to my parents. 
15 years later got fooled again, slaps and emotional abuse. Had to leave 7 very well-loved cats at the pound, probably to be PTS, but that time I had a human child I had to save. Moved 2,000 miles and stayed in a shelter where I knew no one.  Went back to college, got therapy, got a life. Will NEVER go there again.
E-mail me all you want if you need to talk- I understand EVERY reason there is to stay, and all the ones not to.

BTW, the Dane did try to protect me the first time-he got 35 stiches and she got a baseball bat to the ribs for her trouble, after that she would bark and growl but not connect.

More shelters need to allow women to bring their WHOLE family, furkids, too.

PLEASE, those of you who have never been there can't understand how or why it happens- don't assume it can't happen to you, or blame the woman for staying. Just offer your support and sisterhood.

[K9ldy00]

I stayed with my ex husband for 18 years. He also was an alcoholic. I kept hoping it would get better but it didn't. I thought I couldn't make it on my own. There was a lot of mental abuse. Then one day I was driving by a cemetary and I had an awakening. It hit me... That's where it all ends. That is where I'm going to end up and what happens in between now and then is up to me. Thats when i decided to leave. It has been 9 years ago now and I look back and think why did I waste so much of my life with him. Believe in yourself. My life is so much better now.
Good luck to you.
Deb

[obirottie]

Timmie, I am in Las Vegas too and think that it is awesome that Shade Tree is now allowing pets. All of my donations are now going to them just because of this!

Lins, I am new here and haven't really had a chance to get to know anyone well enough yet, but you do not deserve this and neither do Grace or Lady.

[brigid67]

K9lady - you are very right about that...very right.

obi - glad to  know you are in vegas in vegas too....  I am gonna donate a bunch of dog items i think to Shade Tree.....  Also - completely off topic...are you gonna raw feed your baby?  Would love to have more vegas raw feeders...
Timmie

[obirottie]

obi - glad to  know you are in vegas in vegas too....  I am gonna donate a bunch of dog items i think to Shade Tree.....  Also - completely off topic...are you gonna raw feed your baby?  Would love to have more vegas raw feeders...
Timmie

We lost our Shepherd in April so I donated all of his things to them before we knew that we were getting Obi. (Great excuse for starting my new collar fetish collection )

Actually I will probably end up feeding Canidae and supplmenting with Steve's or Oma's Pride. I am not sure if I want to fully get into raw, but you never know

[luvmenewfs]

I am so happy to hear that a shelter is taking pets also.  This has been a serious problem for many women.  The shelter we have here in town cannot or will not accomodate pets. 

I donate soaps and herbal teas to different places.  If the shelter in your area would like donations of nice products for christmas time please let me know how I could contact them.

Also, to Lins, I jsut caught this thread.  How are you doing?  I hope you can bond with those who offer stregnth.  I'm so very sorry you have to go through this.  Sometimes the strength of others we don't even know are our best defense to survive, continue and have the bravery to know we can do it on our own.
Bless you and please take care.  My mother spent much time seeking assistance in dealing with co-dependency, and she was a fantastic counselor (had a Masters in Psychology and family counseling not to mention the years of training in other areas), family social worker and substance abuse counselor.  It can affect any of us at any time.  She was able to support and assist others, but it took years for her to have the strength to help herself.  I hope it does not take as long for you. 

Luv