Author Topic: Unfair Dog Treatment  (Read 4928 times)

Offline fcsantos

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Unfair Dog Treatment
« on: July 20, 2005, 12:25:45 pm »
My wife and I own two dogs. Hers (Bichon Frise) she owned the dog before we were married, and Ours (Old English Mastiff). Her dog gets to sit on the couch, sleep in our bed, and basically goes anywhere she wants. Our OEM is a puppy and we are training her. My wife does not want her on our couches, chairs or bed. I tell my wife we either need to let her do all of those things since her dog does or we need to train the Bichon to not get on any of the furniture. I feel that this is a fair option what does everyone out there think. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. I just want an even playing field for both of our dogs. My OEM can't understand why the Bichon can go onto the couch and she can't. Any suggestions???

Offline jabear

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2005, 12:36:01 pm »
Ohh....poor baby! Your OEM is a doll! I would have a calm, heart to heart discussion with your wife and explain how you feel and that the dogs are alot like kids. You can't let one do something and not the other. Maybe you should compromise and let the dogs both get on the couch but not on the bed. Your wife is probably thinking long term and how you baby will get big and hog the bed ro cruch your legs when you are there (happens all the time here). SO, if you both give in a little, you will both be happy and so will the dogs.

Or, you can just tell her that when your doggy grows up she'll sit on her doggy just cuz she can.  ;D Just kidding. I don't recommend you tell her this.
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Jaime
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Offline GrumpyBunny

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2005, 12:37:22 pm »
I say - all or nothing!  Everyone on the couch, or no one on the couch.

Your wife may have some reasons that she feels that she can accept the Bichon on the couch, in the bed, etc. but not the OEM.  OEMs drool, Bichons do not.  OEMs are large, Bichons are small.  Those may be valid reasons for her - BUT those are reasons that humans can understand, not puppies!  Your OEM is simply going to see the Bichon doing those things and think that it is acceptable that she does them too...  (Hey, as far as I am concerned, it IS acceptable!  ;))
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Offline Nina

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2005, 12:45:19 pm »
LMAO thoses pictures are sooo cute, poor OEM puppy and the bichon looks sooo comfy. I agree either the puppy gets to do what the other does or neither. If things stay the way they are, your pup will get confused and not know that to do. And you also run the risk of the pup resenting the Bichon as the bichon is getting "favoured" now. And that is not a good thing especially when the pup grows and becomes 150+ lbs. Think of them like children, when one gets to do something that the other doesn't, the child gets jealous. The same thing can happen in dogs.

My puppy gets jealous when we get give Harley (lab) more attention that him.
So I agree with you 100% either pup gets furniture access or neither get furniture access.

Nina
Nina and Tim
Calgary, AB, Canada
Harley(Lab mix)
Dilbert(Pyr mix)At the bridge
Jolene (cat)

GYPSY JAZMINE

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2005, 12:46:37 pm »
I say - all or nothing!  Everyone on the couch, or no one on the couch.

Your wife may have some reasons that she feels that she can accept the Bichon on the couch, in the bed, etc. but not the OEM.  OEMs drool, Bichons do not.  OEMs are large, Bichons are small.  Those may be valid reasons for her - BUT those are reasons that humans can understand, not puppies!  Your OEM is simply going to see the Bichon doing those things and think that it is acceptable that she does them too...  (Hey, as far as I am concerned, it IS acceptable!  ;))
I agree!...If both dogs do not follow the same rules it's not only unfair...It's confusing to both dogs & could cause serious issues between them as far as getting along...If the OEM is made to be a lower status dog in his & the Bichon's mind I think you're going to have trouble down the road.

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2005, 12:52:30 pm »
We have different rule, the dogs are allowed on some beds but not others, and on some furniture and not others. But the rules are across the board, what applies to one applies to all. Otherwise the priviledged dog gets ideas of higher status in the pack order, and the underpriviledg ed dog gets an inferiority complex and it's anarchy. ;D
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Offline mastiffmommy

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2005, 12:58:37 pm »
I totally agree with everyone here, what one gets to do all gets to do. True that the OEM will get big and take up more room, but it seems like all giant dogs have no idea about how big they are, they love to be "lap dogs" sit on you, or sit on the couch, it must be very confusing for your oem to see the little one be allowed on the couch, but not be able to get on there.

They are like kids and since human kids can talk (or shout hehe) I know for a fact that if they for a second think they are being unfairly treated, that one gets to do something the others dont, well they feel very hurt and confused and at least mine dont hesitate to tell me lol..... So I am sure dogs feel that way too.

We were in a similar situation once, well my ex and I were. we had danes and a min. schnauzer he thought it was okay with Happy on couch and bed (schnauzer) but also thought that Hanna and Zorro could stay on the floor. We had discussions and even arguments about it, but well to make long story short, I refused to treat our dogs different so they all ended up in couch and bed. My dogs have always been as my children, and I think I may have said something like "if you dont like them in couch or bed, you can sit and also sleep on the floor" I dont recommend you to tell your wife that hehe but try and explain to her why it is not fair and that your oem is probably wondering why he isnt allowed to do things the little dog is.

Marit
what the lion is to a cat, the mastiff is to a dog

Offline fcsantos

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2005, 01:08:13 pm »
I am glad that I am not the only one that thinks the dogs should be treated equally. I would prefer that they both stay on the floor on their doggy beds. Especially since our OEM will probably weigh in at around 185 lbs. I also don't like sharing my bed with anyone except my wife. Thanks everyone.

Offline greek4

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2005, 01:36:09 pm »
I agree that both dogs should get to be on furniture or none of the dogs should. 
Rocco has slightly more priveledges at my house than Maia but he earned them.

Rocco stays free locked in their room during the day, Maia in her cage
Rocco sleeps on the bed with me, Maia in her cage, though they are both allowed on the bed to lay down.  I hate when they play up there bc then I have to remake the bed
Rocco is allowed outside when I mow and edge, Maia is not, she barks at the equipment and gets in the way.

They are both allowed on one couch and neither are allowed on the other.

I don't know if the rules at my house are fair or not!?
Thanks,

Emily and 1 husband, 1 boy, 1 on the way, and 4 crazy dogs

Offline GreytGirl

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2005, 01:45:41 pm »
Like everyone else, I agree that they should be treated fairly.
Madison was only allowed on the couch when there is a blanket on it, and to all of our human minds, that made sense, but dogs don't understand the "sometimes" part of it, it's either all or nothing.  So in your puppy's mind, she should be able to get on the couch/bed as well but by getting scolded if she tries just confuses the poor baby.
You need to even the playing field, either by letting the OEM and Bichon both on the couch/bed, or by not letting either of them up there.

Offline Kermit

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2005, 03:32:53 pm »
I'm just so relieved that when I read this post it wasn't about anyone's dog being neglected or beaten! I see enough of that in my neighbors' back yards! Whew!
Personally, I think EVERY dog deserves to be on the couch! (Remind me I said that when Nigel weighs more than I do!) Just tell your little OEM to keep the faith, and maybe someday his daddy will buy him his very own big cushy chair that is specially for him...

Offline shangrila

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Re: Unfair Dog Treatment
« Reply #11 on: July 20, 2005, 05:07:15 pm »
I agree with everyone else that the rules need to be the same for both dogs. You need to explain to your wife that regardless of how long you have had them, you need to love both dogs the same and treat them equally. If you don't have the same rules, it will cause a lot of problems for you and the dogs. For one, inconsistancy means confusion, and the big dog could get in to trouble when they don't know what they did wrong and won't learn not to do it again. But more importantly, the dog who feels 'neglected' will end up either depressed (not cool) or aggressive (dangerous). You need to make sure that you and your wife are the 'alpha dog' and let the dogs both be equal below you. If you treat them differently and put one in a higher position than the other, you will put them in a power struggle and they could end up rivals instead of what they should be (friends).
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