Need to vent.. I'm so frustrated!

[Lyn]

As most of you know Lola has fear based aggression issues with other dogs and most recently strangers. If I could punch her 'breeder' in the face I would. But anyway.. lol.

The behaviourist I took Lola to gave me strict guidelines to follow including taking her to public places and letting her observe people and dogs at a comfortable distance. Noone is to pet her..she's just there to take in her surroundings. Every meeting needs to be positive. Everything had been improving ten fold. She could be in the same room with another dog without any reaction. People could talk to her, look at her without any reaction. I was truly amazed at her progress.

But lately things are taking a backslide..I don't know if she's just going through another fear period? But her behaviour has been somewhat worse recently. She's almost 18 months old now.

It seems to have started in the vets office when Lola had that severe reaction to a bee sting. She was sitting nicely beside me looking around at the other dogs when this lady comes in with her German shepherd. She was definitely not in control of this dog and it attempted to start a fight with a JRT. Well the noise of it all was enought to set Lola off. She growled and stood up, I verbally corrected her and put her in a sit where she stayed. I'm thinking ok no big deal.. I snapped her out of it.. everything is fine.

About 10 minutes after that this lady comes in with her 2 little dogs on flexi leashes. I HATE those leashes. Her dogs were swarming Lola so I asked her to keep them away from Lola which she did. Lola is generally ok with small dogs but I wasn't taking the chance since she was swollen and cranky and still on edge from the other 2 dogs fighting earlier. So she hands her dogs off to her child and proceeds to pester Lola trying to pet her. I told her no the first time and she went and sat down, minutes later she's back trying to call Lola. I friggin snapped and the lady has the nerve to get snotty with me. Hello!? I said NO. What part of that didn't you understand??!!

I don't get it, even after I mention she is in training and it fearful of strangers WHY do people STILL try to force themselves on her? Do they think they have some magical friggin gift. *^%$##@!&^*&^$# They are not helping her.. if anything they are making it worse since she's back to growling instead of sitting quietly by me. Let me tell you.. I'm sooooo tempted to start 'tasering' the people that seem to have selective hearing. LOL

[Scootergirl]

I can certainly understand your frustration with stupid people. I'm sure she was just enamored with Lola's good looks, but she should have listened to you. Everyone should be asking permission before petting someone else's dogs and, as another dog owner, she should have known that.

As for Lola's "backslide", I wouldn't worry about that too much. She was in a very stressful situation with some very obnoxious dogs doing very aggressive things and she is, after all, a guardian breed so her growling may have been a natural reaction to protect you. Add to that, she wasn't feeling well and I don't know too many dogs who are thrilled to be at the vet's office. It sounds to me like her reactions weren't out of line at all and you did a wonderful job controlling her.

[Gracie Belle]

I can certainly understand your frustration with stupid people. I'm sure she was just enamored with Lola's good looks, but she should have listened to you. Everyone should be asking permission before petting someone else's dogs and, as another dog owner, she should have known that.

As for Lola's "backslide", I wouldn't worry about that too much. She was in a very stressful situation with some very obnoxious dogs doing very aggressive things and she is, after all, a guardian breed so her growling may have been a natural reaction to protect you. Add to that, she wasn't feeling well and I don't know too many dogs who are thrilled to be at the vet's office. It sounds to me like her reactions weren't out of line at all and you did a wonderful job controlling her.

I totally agree.  I'm constantly reminding an obnoxious kid down the street that he must ALWAYS ask before running up to Gracie to pet her.  She's not crazy about the kid as he is way hyper and very rude.  I think he's about 9 or 10 years old.  I sort of think she senses I'm not crazy about him. She always backs away and avoids him and hides behind me when he's around and sometimes will even bark while pulling away from him.   Together though Gracie and I pull ourselves together and work through it with as much tolerance as we can take.  Though every time he sees her he races to her and I have to stop him and remind him that dogs meet and greet with the nose.  Not the paws.  Then remind him to give her space and let her smell him from a few feet and asking him not to stare in her face.  SHEESH!!!  It's very frustrating that I always have to remind him.  Then I met his mother and their dog.  They were exactly the same way as the young boy.    Even after I spoke with the mom and explained how to approach my dog, it was like I had a conversation with a piece of toast.  I'll just try to avoid that side of the street since they are unwilling to comply with basic manners. 

Good luck with Miss Lola and keep up the good work.  She actually sounds like she is doing a good job to me backslide or not.  I look at it like this.  What if we were as fascinating as our pets and people started at us with awe constantly?  I think that could freak me out at times too. Who cares if that woman got snotty with you.  Imagine how snotty she could have been had she ignored your final instructions and possibly have been bit?  Scr*w her!     You did that woman, her dogs and especially Lola a favor.  Try to focus on that.

[2Criminals]

I find the Vet's the worst place for stupid people. Why? Why? are you letting your dog run up to mine without asking in the VET'S OFFICE...chanc es are one of the dogs in the waiting room is sick!! You're right, they don't take no for an answer, they stare and talk like babies...it annoys the crap out of me. Poor Lola

[Ali]

It sounds like Lola passed her "test" with flying colors. Sure, she reacted, but she listened to you and did what she was told. Lola was a good girl. Unfortunately, you can't do anything about the stupid people except not be as nice. If they don't get the point the first time you nicely ask that they stay away due to Lola being in training, then their second "correction" from you should be abrubt and curt. If they don't like it, tough. Or - here's a thought - bring the squirt bottle! "I said stay away from my dog, ya moron!" Then SPRAY 'EM right in their face. Imagine the big drooly grin from Lola...   (Tee hee! Good shot, mom!)

[Gracie Belle]

Or - here's a thought - bring the squirt bottle! "I said stay away from my dog, ya moron!" Then SPRAY 'EM right in their face. Imagine the big drooly grin from Lola...   (Tee hee! Good shot, mom!)

LMAO!!!!  I'm sooo going to take our walks with the squirt bottle now.  Great idea! 

[Nicole]

UGH! I just also want to add, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THINKS FLEXEE's ARE A GOOD IDEA?!

I absolutely HATE HATE HATE HATE flexi leads. They are rude, obnoxious, and have no place in public. UGH!

[jennifer]

I've had very similar issues with Bear, who also has fear-based aggression towards other dogs, and sometimes people. There's nothing more frustrating than not being listened to - especially when what I'm saying could keep someone from getting hurt. AND it means more work for us in the long run -- not to mention the confusion it creates for Bear. While I'm trying to assure him in everyway that I'm in control and he doesn't have to worry about it, stupid people deliberately contradict me and scare the bejeezus out of him. Aargh! So I hear ya -- Hang in there!

Oh - and I'd like to smack the person who invented flexi leads. They really only serve for the walker NOT to be in control of their dog. And that's a bowl of cherries for all of us, isn't it? 

[SadieA]

About the flexi leads- seems to me that the problem isn't the lead, but the way some, and not all, people use it. My parents have always used one of these with our golden, and I guess I don't see the problem with it. They live in a very small town, and with the flexi lead, the dog can get away from the road into the woods a short ways to go to the bathroom, or, if they're in town with her, they can just keep her on a shorter leash. With her, it works- she's well-trained and very laid back, and she doesn't get out of their control on the leash. Certainly, I have seen these be problematic in the hands of some users, and as a city liver myself, I can't see the use of one in the city. But it seems a little presumptious to assume they have no purpose, and that people who use them are hopelessly misguided or downright rude. I don't like to think that is the case with my parents!

And jumping to a different topic, I completely feel your pain all on people who are overly hands-on with your dog! Goodness, it's hard to convince a puppy that he ought NOT to chew on people's hands when every person we pass in the street encourages him to do so, because it's "just so cute." hmmph. Guess it can't be helped with a puppy everyone wants to love!

[Edwpang]

I agree with everyone Lola had every right to growl when that silly lady kept pestering her. Probably you have read the "HE JUST WANTS TO SAY HI!" by Suzanne Clothier. I think article well fits the sitation.
I also agree with SadieA about flexi leads. It's not the lead but the person at other end of it that causes problems.

[Nicole]

Well, I suppose you're right about the user of the Flexi, but I guess what I'm saying is that it just gives those that are ill-equipped a distinct disadvantage. It just seems like people use them because they want to let their dogs roam, which is almost never a good idea on-leash.

I think that the applications of a flexi are very narrow and most people don't have an appropriate situation. Although I'm sure your parents are nice people and they use the leash properly, I still stand by my opinion that they are mostly dangerous and rude.

[Lyn]

Undoing this behaviour has been a real challenge and I now realize how important is it that breeders properly socialize their puppies. Young puppies that are not handled/socialized turn into Lola. I've spoken with the 'breeder' and she explained how the mother does all that. Ummm, yeah the mother socializes her puppies with people and other dogs.

Of course I didn't know the situation when we got her and it wouldn't have made me change my mind but I might have been better equipped to deal with her behaviour. Instead we just started socializing her like we would any puppy but she was anti-social from the beginning. I just figured she was shy and would eventually come around, then the growling started and the fun began.

I guess in a sense the vet's office situation was a good lesson in self control and honestly before I would have lost control of Lola as soon as those dogs started fighting. Plus I usually had the GL on her but since her face was swollen she was just wearing her regular collar and I was still able to snap her out of it. I need to stop dwelling so much on the negative and just chill out. Easier said than done though. LOL I have a short fuse when it comes to stupid people.

I have to say regarding the flexi's. Everytime I've seen someone walking their dog on one it's going where ever it pleases. Then I hear the "My dog is friendly" line instead of shortening the lead. I can see using them to give your dog some room to roam in a park or field, but not in a public place or on a sidewalk.

[patrick]

I understand your frustration when it seems that one person can undo all you hard work with Lola. But really, she reinforced it, as you were able to get Lola back to control and now Lola knows what is expected of her in that same situation. That being said, I have found that folks that do not listen need to be shown how upsetting their attitude can be. Step between them and Lola, and stand almost on their toes. Touch their clothes pat their head, touch their face and see how fast they back away. When they ask you if you are crazy, simply tell them that it feels the same way to the dog, and they don't like it either.
I actually have done it and it works.
Stella

LOVE IT  WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!!  Also gives yourself some insight too!

[jennifer]

No offense intended regarding the flexi, but my experience is similar to what others have posted in that I don't think I've ever seen one used properly.  Kudos to those who do, but for the rest it's a real problem.