Author Topic: pets versus babies  (Read 5080 times)

Offline +four+leaf+clover+

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pets versus babies
« on: August 13, 2008, 08:32:37 pm »
Just wondering how many, if any, of you have ever decided to get a new puppy instead of having another (human) baby?  This seems to be a phenomenon of some kind, but maybe I'm wrong.  I don't mean loving or treating your pets as kids if you would have got them anyway, but I mean a conscious decision to have one instead of the other as a clucky cure (and did it work?).

Offline ruffian

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2008, 08:50:06 pm »
I decided long ago, about the time my son turned 2, that I DID NOT want another human child, I never got a puppy to fill the void though, but have often said I would rather another dog over another child.

Offline kealoha812

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2008, 09:33:58 pm »
Been there, done that! I wasnt sure about baby number 3, so I decided to get a puppy instead... it worked out great. Now, I am SOOOO glad I didnt have a human child, and am even adding another puppy soon to the family!  My view on kids is like this... I wanted 3 until I had 2 and now I just want 1.  :) Not that I dont adore my human kids - but man, 2 is rough!
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Offline Berner_Mom

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2008, 11:29:02 pm »
Saw the thread, and felt compelled to reply.

As a woman who has wanted children with my husband since the very first date we ever went on (8 years ago), who has spent 4.5 years fighting infertility, being told time and time again by multiple doctors that my husband and I would never conceive on our own, that we had a less than 2% chance of ever having a baby together, to stare at that pregnancy test in September '06- to see the positive test result- it was a miracle.

To have carried that child, my daughter, through the most perfect, textbook pregnancy ever, to have no problems at all- not even elevated blood pressure on my part for even a second- to approach her due date of May 25, 2007 with joy, love, anticipation, excitement and the wonder of it all- to realize that our dream of starting a family was FINALLY coming true, to have proved all the doctors and the tests WRONG, to have conceived on our own just when we were ready to give up.......

....end in the stillbirth of my baby girl, McKenna, (6 lbs, 15.7 oz, perfect baby girl) two days after her due date on May 27, 2007, from something called Fetomaternal Hemorrage.  A super-rare thing that "just doesn't happen", according to my OB/GYN, I have never known pain like that.  I hope to never know it again.

I would never, ever, even for a split nano-second compare the joy of parenthood and raising a child with owning dog.  I would never buy a puppy instead of continuing to try to have children, as emotional, heart-wrenching as this journey has been for us.

My husband bought Tucker for me for Mother's Day 2008, because it was the first mother's day I was supposed to be celebrating with my almost-1 year old daughter, and my husband seemed to know that Tucker was exactly what I needed in my life to finally start to get out of the pit of depression my daughter's death had thrown me into pretty much a whole year earlier.  Tucker is not a replacement or substitude for my daughter.  He is a symbol of my husband's love for me, and a symbol of the fact my husband will do ANYTHING to show me there is hope, happiness and love still left in this world.

We are still trying to have another baby, we will never give up hope.  They told us we would never do it the first time, and McKenna proved them wrong.  I hope we get the chance to prove them wrong again, this time- bringing home a baby from the hospital, and not a memory box.

Those of you with live children, you have no idea how blessed you are.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2008, 11:31:47 pm by Berner_Mom »
Mom to daughter, McKenna,
With us for 40 weeks, 1 day
Silently Born Into Eternity
on May 27, 2007

Mom to fur-kids:
Tucker, 16 months, BMD
Echo, 6 years, Siamese
Simba, 2 years, Orange Tabby
Mom to one reptile-teenager,
Trevor, 16 years, red-eared slider turtle


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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2008, 12:13:43 am »
I am so sorry for your loss :( I cannot even begin to imagine that pain. She was a beautiful beautiful little girl. I have a  yr old myself and I could not go on a day without my girl. You are a much stronger person than I am. You proved Dr's wrong before, you can again. Never believe Dr's. My older sister was told she could never get pregnant, 6 years later she has 2 girls. Just keep faith in it, and it will happen...

And to answer the question in the original post

No.. I would never ever want a dog over another baby. I only have 1 child and I would love another. I love Angel, my dog, but there is no comparison. My little girl is my world and I can't wait to eventually share my love with another.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2008, 12:16:48 am by angelsmama »

Offline horsepoor21

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2008, 07:10:48 am »
Berner_Mom > Mckenna is beautiful ! I am so very sorry for your loss  :'( Please do not give up hope , my husband was told before we were ever married that we would not be able to have children and we have 4 now ! It says in the Bible that God opens your womb , that no pregnancy is by mistake , only in His timing ! Most doctors do not believe in miracles , only science  :P

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 A dog, and a mother willing to let him have one"

Offline VdogLover

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2008, 07:46:14 am »
I never got a puppy INSTEAD of trying to have another child. I knew I only wanted 2 kids and once I had them we took the great steps to not have another. At my age I am very grateful for that, since I can not imagine trying to raise a newborn now.
 Kinda goes along with this...After seeing the movie Legend of the Falls I decided whatever came next a male dog or a male human would get the name son beat the new dog by 18 months lol.

Offline London_Pyr_Lover

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2008, 09:23:19 am »
I'm like Julie, I've chosen not to have kids at all of my own.  I opted to adopt a dog instead. 
Since getting Naja I've become involved with a wonderful man who has a beautiful son from a previous relationship.  I would not trade Jack in for the world, but he will be the only skin kid I ever have, and when he's long grown up and moved into the real world on his own, I will still have dogs in my life.  (And hopefully  ::) ;))
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Offline +four+leaf+clover+

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2008, 07:26:17 pm »
Thanks for all your extremely honest and painful answers.  Berner-mom, I especially pray for all happiness for you!

  I know a lady who does not seem to have any children, but she breeds dogs and I have often wondered if that is the reason why.  The lifespan of a dog is so short that to get that ongoing comfort from her dog maybe she breeds puppies from it so it lives on in the children, grandchildren and so on.  The maternal instinct is very strong and I guess this is a sort of sublimation of it.  Again, thanks for your stories everyone.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2008, 07:27:20 pm by +four+leaf+clover+ »

Offline Rajas Mom

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2008, 06:09:25 pm »
I don't have any skin-kids, and likely won't for a bit (Grad school and all).  I will admit though, that my biological clock has been ticking already for years (every day I think, "Wow, when my mom was my age, I was in kindergarten already!"  I'm the first to admit that my pets are my substitute for the time being.

Especially our rescue cat.  My husband's 19 year old niece had a baby, and after spending Christmas with her (the baby) I was already lying out the budget for kids.  "We'll conceive in such and such month, she'll be born in May or June, I don't want a summer pregnancy - too hot..."  Then reality of my crazy life (which I can work dogs into, but not kids) hit me.  And yes, I'm a planner. Sometimes. :)
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Offline ZooCrew

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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2008, 08:06:06 pm »
My family always thinks that every new pet I add is a substitution.  But I've never thought about it like that.  I will always and continue to have multiple dogs.

I do want kids (I have always told people I want a football team), but unfortunately I don't consider my husband good father material (after seeing how much he interacts with his 4 daughters) so it doesn't look likely.  :(


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Re: pets versus babies
« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2008, 09:13:47 pm »
This is twist on the subject. I have 2 darling daughters and 7 beautiful grand-darlings. I keep begging my daughters to have just "one more" baby. They both laugh (hysterically) at me and tell me to "go get another dog" instead..
« Last Edit: August 15, 2008, 09:18:19 pm by yellow_dog_mom »