Author Topic: How do I talk hubby out of this?  (Read 11468 times)

Offline London_Pyr_Lover

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2008, 06:40:17 am »
Oh man.  That sure does suck.  But don't let yourself get flustered (I know, easier said then done), this is YOUR family, not your MIL's, and the dogs are a part of the family.  Give your hubby some time, and try to talk again.  This is one of those issues that just might take some time to resolve, but I'm sure that if you are able to keep your wits about you and stand your ground, your husband will start to agree with you.

I'm rooting for ya!   :)
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Offline People Whisperer

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #16 on: August 20, 2008, 06:44:54 am »
Well toddlers screech and wail and run around and flail their arms and throw things and poke the dog in the eye and on and on - very unnerving to even the calmest of dogs. 
That is why it is OUR responsibility to protect dogs from kids and kids from dogs. It's not that hard to have a playing room for a child where dog doesn't have an access or have a "resting" room for a dog where child can't crawl in.
If parents are not ready to this kind of committment then they shouldn't have dogs and kids together...pre tty simple
« Last Edit: August 20, 2008, 06:47:41 am by People Whisperer »
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Offline patrick

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #17 on: August 20, 2008, 07:26:59 am »
Agreed!  There are many successful homes with dogs and young children and probably just as many that are not successful.  However if a dog has an intolerance to kids or being startled consideration should be given to what is best both for the dog and the family. To be an outside only dog is not a good option and keeping the dog isolated from the family may also not be a good option.  Many, many dogs will just not tolerate small children- doesn't mean the dog is not a wonderful animal- but perhaps a home without children would be a better option. If there is any concern at all that a bite might happen in the future the safety of the child always takes priority.  Only the owner of the dog in question can make that determination. 

Offline amberdoggoneit

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #18 on: August 20, 2008, 08:35:43 am »
I completely agree!! I KNOW Baxter.  He is almost 3 yrs old and has never even so much looked at us the wrong way.  He LOVES ppl and kids.  I have a 4 yr old nephew and a 2 yr old niece and they have both been around him and he is fine. 

What happened the other night was a complete accident and I am not ready to give up my dog for it.  I know there is going to be some training that I need to go through with ALL the dogs and Payton.  But I am willing to do that and only after that will I even consider another option if it looks like it would be better but not until than which I dont forsee happening. 
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Offline patrick

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #19 on: August 20, 2008, 08:54:20 am »
Then you have made an objective and correct decision and should be able to defend to both your MIL and husband.

jesday

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #20 on: August 20, 2008, 09:07:09 am »
As Holly says, everything needs to sloooow down.

Amber, Payton is a little over a month old correct? You've still got plenty of hormones working their way out of your system. A new baby is quite an adjustment to a family no matter how prepared one feels, not to mention lack of sleep. Emotions must be off the chart.

Hubs is a new dad and probably overwhelmed by the feelings of responsibility to protect his child. He may also feel a bit left out - your attentions taken up by the baby and now the dogs. 

Mother-in-law only heard her adult son was bitten and panicked. We don't know her. Is it typical for her to be involved in your personal lives? If it is atypical, acknowledge her concerns and let her know you will never let Payton be in harms way.

I'm not saying hubs should have gone to momma. More to the point, mom never should have told everyone what to do. But Amber honey, you did the same thing going to BPO. You were upset and needed a place to talk about it. You've gotten so many responses and most of us are strangers.

Everyone needs to settle down. When hubs gets home just hug each other for a bit. No ultimatums, no kicking to the curb, and no discussing the latest events. Emotions are too high. Agree to talk about it in a few days.

For now, hold little Payton to your chest and rock her to sleep. Feel her warmth - smell her babiness - enjoy her being. I guarantee this will calm you down. ;)

Offline amberdoggoneit

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #21 on: August 20, 2008, 09:51:00 am »
AHHA Holly you crack me up.  Of course I would get upset if he didnt like your advice!!

This is a very typical behavior of his mom.  She was VERY bad at getting in our buisness when we first got married. He is her oldest son and the first to get married.  We had a long discussion saying that if we needed to vent we wouldnt go to family but to friends or at least not our parents.

This is really the first time in a long time that he has gone to his mom.  I also think that it started out just saying "O mom you will never believe what happened last night"  than it got blown out of proportion. 

He called me alittle while ago and said that he was sorry for what he said but we still needed to discuss the dogs.  I simply told him that I wasnt going to give any of them up and I wasnt going to put them simply as outside dogs because that isnt fair to them. 

He agreed but says that we need to figure something out.
I told him that the baby is only 5 weeks old and that this is still an adjustment period.  Nothing bad has happened except for the other night. 
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Bell 3 1/2 yr old Weimeraner
Baxter 3 yr old English Springer Spaniel
Buble 10 month old English Springer Spaniel

jesday

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #22 on: August 20, 2008, 10:46:06 am »
I hope you didn't think I was criticizing you for going to BPO, I just meant we all need a place to vent. Granted, mom was probably not the best choice. :D

Offline amberdoggoneit

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #23 on: August 20, 2008, 12:49:11 pm »
No I didnt take it like that at all.  Dont worry.  To me this is the only place that I can vent about the dogs.  Yall are the only ppl that understand what it is like to love your dogs like they are your kids. 

Everyone in my family love animals but not like they are thier childern.  Just a pet. 
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Bell 3 1/2 yr old Weimeraner
Baxter 3 yr old English Springer Spaniel
Buble 10 month old English Springer Spaniel

Offline KiraNGunnersmom

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #24 on: August 20, 2008, 03:39:04 pm »
Hey Amber,  how about a bright spot in this discussion?

A pic. of baby Peyton!!!!  I think we BPOer's need a baby fix ;)
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Offline +four+leaf+clover+

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #25 on: August 20, 2008, 07:45:24 pm »
Just come to a compromise and put the dogs outside.  It won't kill them and they just might like it.  Be reasonable and respect the concern of others.  Don't make it into such a big deal.

Offline +four+leaf+clover+

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #26 on: August 21, 2008, 06:50:12 am »
The dogs are not babies: I am sure they will cope with being outside; they will learn soon enough, anyway.  If your husband has concerns (nevermind your MIL, that is irrelevant) then for the sake of your primary relationship and harmony - respect his worries and compromise.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2008, 07:10:07 am by Holly »

Offline People Whisperer

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #27 on: August 21, 2008, 06:55:48 am »
If your husband has concerns (nevermind your MIL, that is irrelevant) then for the sake of your primary relationship and harmony - respect his worries and compromise.
It is obvious that Amber's husband concerns are blown out of proportion. It was just an accident and if her husband would call dogs in instead of picking them up it wouldn't even happen :P Throwing the dogs outside without analyzing the situation is not a compromise AT ALL
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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #28 on: August 21, 2008, 07:08:15 am »
On the lighter side ;), just put hubby outside.  Problem solved!

Offline patrick

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Re: How do I talk hubby out of this?
« Reply #29 on: August 21, 2008, 07:30:18 am »
I like the husband outside solution!!  On the other hand if the dog bit and DREW Blood because he was picked up then there really is a problem and maybe hubby's concerns have some validity.