He backs up slowly and stands steadily, focused on his target. He is determind. He is suave. He is the mighty conqueror of all.
He shakes his head from side to side with vigor, The sticky mud that makes up his shaggy beard soars into the air, attaching itself to floor, walls, and bar siding. His body and mind are now refreshed, acting as one so that he may excecute the great task ahead. His eyes are focused. Confidence pours out of him as he begins to bound forward with ellegant strides. His fur bounces in motion with each mighty movement, swallowing up his defined features with it's rhythm. Just before he reaches his target he launches into the air, tucking his powerful haunches underneath him with acrobatic grace. His mouth gapes as he anticipates his landing on the other side, paws outstretched to accomidate the great mass which is still airborne. He twists slightly as he lands and dances a little once he is secure again on the ground. He has done it and he is swelling with pride - but no one here can know that this was such a triumph. For they must think of this as the ordinary for such a mighty creature. Afterall he is dignified and refined. Powerful. Graceful. He is the mighty one!
Ok. So this is totally the way I pictured Brutus going over our baby gate from kitchen to livingroom. It is pretty tall with his head just barely able to peek over the top. I never doubted his ability to jump this high, but it seems nearly impossible for a creature this size to launch himself into the air. Still, Brutus keeps jumping the gate. My husband forgot to block the gate this morning before I got up (we slept on the couch last night to keep an eye on the dog) and brutus selected our livingroom as his comfy padded water closet yet again this morning after he left for work. I nearly cried when I saw a mess for the 3rd time this week but calmly let Brutus outside while I dealt with the pies.
Later this afternoon I received a great deal of insight into Brews gate jumping talent and was amused when my vision of this action was shattered to pieces. Brutus walked up to the gate, peering over it with a sloppy, stupid grin on his face. "Watch this mom!" He did not exert any effort by lifting his giant paw, flopping it over the gate - the same way he puts his paw in my lap when he is trying to say "I love you ma." Before I could register what was coming next the other paw was up and Brew was standing on his hind legs. Although I was across the room I suddenly felt very small as this furry giant stood at least a foot taller than me. I saw what was coming next. There was no giant bound involved but rather one massive catapult. Brew was about to use his mighty hind haunches to launch the rest of his body over the gate. No wonder the gate was starting to look a little, well, giddy-womp. 130 lbs of pressure on an already flimsy gate was sure to destroy it after a few of these stunts. "Get down Brutus." It was the first time he has ever experienced my sturn voice but he sensed the seriousness in my tone and quickly slinked back down to his 3 1/2 ft self, wandering away casually like he had not had any part of the event.
What are we going to do with you Brutus...
I really appreciate all of the advice given in my last post. I am going to treat Brew like a pup who needs to relearn. I'm going to take him out regularly. I may leave him in the bathroom at night until the evil runs are gone and then I think we're going to work harder at getting him used to sleeping in the bedroom with the door closed. If this doesn't work, we'll just have to get a crate until he learns that inside is not potty space. I am so amused by my dogs antics but very serious about correcting this behavior. At the same time I WILL move out if he manages to poop on my carpet again. It will be all up to the hubby at that point.
-Anna
