Author Topic: My buddy  (Read 6754 times)

Viking Lady

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My buddy
« on: January 16, 2009, 09:26:16 pm »
I am not good at expressing myself with emotional things. I have always been uncomfortable with mushy situations. I don't know if it is because I have a Nordic (rather stoic)background or if I have a problem with pride or what. I just don't allow myself to be vulnerable. But the other night I wrote to you about a problem I was having with Luke nipping at me. I had helpful responses from you guys and I appreciate it. But later that night, when he was acting ugly, I started crying. It wasn't just the way he was acting, it was because I am adjusting to the idea that I am separated and I probably will end up getting a divorce after 37 years of being married. I guess my emotions finally caught up with me. The only reason I am writing this is because when I started crying Luke seemed to stop in his tracks and look at me. I don't think I am imagining that he was wondering what was wrong. He hasn't nipped again and he seems to be watching me. I don't know if I am reading too much into this but I think he was worried about me. Is that possible?

Offline Newly Newfed

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2009, 02:26:56 am »
Debbie, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  Even though we are virtual strangers, please know that we are all here for you and thinking about you.  And, apparently, so is Luke.

No one can ever convince me that animals do not sense emotion.  It may not be the same emotion that we feel, but they know when something is different.  They know when our moods change.  I've experienced it myself...I think we all have at one time or another.  If you can take comfort from Luke, then by all means go ahead and do it.  You'll feel better and it may help strengthen your bond with him.

PLease take care and we are here if you need to let off some steam or try and work through some confused feelings.
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jesday

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2009, 04:24:40 am »
Dear Debbie, you are blessed to have your Luke. He is there for you when we can't be. And it is not your imagination and you are not reading too much into it. And for your stubborn Nordic pride self, there has been scientific research proving the power of the pet. Dogs in particular. Hence the Therapy Dog organizations.

Use your boy, he wants to help. And yes, he does love you.

Wishing I could be there to let you cry upon my shoulder, but truth be known, I have really bony shoulders. Luke's rich soft fur makes a much more satisfying place to bury ones face.  ;)


Viking Lady

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2009, 05:15:57 am »
Thank you all for jumping to my rescue. I woke up early this morning and was tempted to run in here and remove my post before anyone read it. I am so glad I didn't.

It's nice to know that people you've never really met can be such good friends. Although, through words we probably do get to know each other well. It's also nice to know that I shared a little heartache and it didn't kill me!!

Thanx again

Debbie

Offline NewfFan

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2009, 05:36:39 am »
Debbie,
I'm new to the boards, and young (23), but I honestly feel that even though your life probably seems upside down, Luke gave you a special gift! When your heart heals and you can look back on your moment with him, I think you'll smile and realize that he does love you, is there for you, and that you two have a great bond. I think what he did speaks volumes about your relationship with him.

You're in my prayers.
-Chantel-
Owned by:
Daisy, AKC Black Lab
Max 3 year old AQHA gelding

Offline ZooCrew

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2009, 06:17:27 am »
Debbie,
I am sorry about what you are going thru.  But be glad at least that you do have Luke there with you to comfort you in your time of adjustment.  I know when I felt all alone, Keiko was of great comfort to me.

And I know that dogs do feel emotion.  Perhaps not in the same way that we do, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it just the same.  one only  has to ask an animal owner to know that fact is true.

Offline GoofyNewfie

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2009, 07:46:38 am »
I woke up early this morning and was tempted to run in here and remove my post before anyone read it.

 ;D Heheh, sometimes I feel like we are much alike, especially right now. I'm glad the early risers beat you to the thread :)

Seems like it really hit you all of a sudden all at the same time... I'm happy Luke was there, and I'm happy you started this thread.

I wish you lived close, I'd give you a gi-normous bear hug. I guess this is me trying to do that electronically .


Diesel, 6 month old Newf.

Viking Lady

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2009, 08:13:24 am »
Thank you for the hug and kind words. I've noticed we have things in common too. I hope that doesn't mean you're having troubles though. Lordy, maybe we're all in a mess!!

Offline Scootergirl

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2009, 08:52:57 am »
This group has been my saving grace through some extremely difficult situations in the last three years. I call you all "the best friends I have never met". I am never afraid to share anything with BPO because I know they are here to support me - whether it's dog related or not.

Don't ever be afraid to share. Sometimes, it's easier to share difficult emotions with faceless strangers than with someone in the room staring at you waiting for you to talk or answer a question.

As for Luke, I suppose when you finally broke down and cried you released a lot of stress and that helped Luke relax, too. But, more than that, he knows when you really need him. I've seen evidence of that too many times to know it's true.
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between dog and man." -- Mark Twain

Offline GoofyNewfie

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2009, 09:09:45 am »
I hope that doesn't mean you're having troubles though. Lordy, maybe we're all in a mess!!

Nah, last year was my downright awful year, but now things are finally good.
 
It was harsh family drama. At first I obsessed about it, for months actually, then I occasionally thought about it, then those occasions got further and further apart. I'm convinced that whole process would have been a lot faster if I would have been more emotionally honest about the whole thing. I'd get angry instead of sad, rant instead of cry, etc. You'd think I was a man or something  :D

What about you? How are you today? Is Luke still hangout out inside?
Diesel, 6 month old Newf.

Viking Lady

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2009, 09:30:55 am »
I'm pretty good today. Luke has been in and out but sleeping inside. It's slowly warming so the worst cold may be over for now. It's ugly and gray, though, that's pretty depressing for me.

My stuff is just stupid, really. I think I have kind of tricked myself for a couple years now. Because of the "mental illness" I have about staying strong, and not wanting my kids (who are completely grown and would understand) to be sad I haven't really dealt with grieving over my marriage. We were the couple everyone turned to with problems and I think we both thought we would be together forever. We met in highschool, dated three years and then got married. We have been together since we were 17 and we have just grown apart. Rightly or wrongly, I blame alot of things on being in restaurant business. It's very hard on family life. I have always done the bookwork. I never planned anything that would not be for the two of us together. Now there is all kinds of stuff to talk about and figure out.

Anyway, it just sucks. I'm ok and will be even better.

Offline GoofyNewfie

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2009, 09:06:09 am »
There's nothing stupid about this.

I hear you on the restaurant business. We both work in live events, and I think it is similar to restaurants in terms of stress/grueling work/time crunching/crazy hours. I couldn't even imagine doing this with kids!

Do you still do the bookkeeping?
Diesel, 6 month old Newf.

Viking Lady

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2009, 10:05:19 am »
I do for now. I was just going to do it when we started until we could afford to pay somebody to do it. It turned into an 18 year job and I hate it. I'm in the process of turning it over to my daughter, who for some reason wants to do it. Then I have to figure out how to pay myself, for the first time, for not doing it! Hah!

I have told friends that owning a restaurant, and maybe other small businesses (?) is like having a juvenile deliquent child that never grows up and moves out.

Offline marinafb

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Re: My buddy
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2009, 01:44:45 pm »
I am sorry things are so hard for you right now Debbie, and I hope that you can find a way back to an even keel. I think most of us have had some sort of an emotional upheaval in our lives and found that it effects our dogs. I know when I lost my Dad I went through a very difficult time emotionally, with weeks of depression and sudden bouts of weeping at 3 am when they were the only ones there. And they were there...Curled around me like a blanket of support and unconditional devotion and acceptance.
People that don't have pets say that we "humanize" their reactions, that there is no basis scientifically for that sort of a reaction from a "dumb dog". But consider this: the best trainers in the world will tell you what goes down the leash comes back up. Our dogs can sense our fear and apprehension and react appropriately with fear and apprehension themselves. They react entirely differently when you are relaxed, calm and in control. Why then is it so difficult to believe that they can sense grief, confusion and depression and react to it as well. Consider too, the breed that you are talking about. Prys were bred for the sole purpose of protecting and keeping the wellbeing of the flock or herd. You, my dear are Luke's herd and your wellbeing is not only his concern, but his obsession.
Lean on him if you need to because unlike some of the humans in our lives he will never lie to you or deliberately let you down.
Stella

I have to agree with Stella they are super sensitive to our emotions. My mother passed away not that long ago and my pups were my saving graces. Bryce would walk around and lay his head on my lap or if i was in bed he would put his head on my neck.They care we just miss the signs sometimes but when we really need them they stand by us! I never witness my father crying and my mom was a very strong woman so i show very little emotions but when it comes out beware.
Being single has its advantages but let me tell you it is hard when your the only one!Marina
Freya-9 years collie shepard mix
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