Author Topic: I gave it my all but failed. Long . *Updated*  (Read 8676 times)

Offline KiraNGunnersmom

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I gave it my all but failed. Long . *Updated*
« on: February 23, 2009, 04:59:04 am »
I have mentioned the aggression issues between Kira and my daughter's chi and how for awhile my husband and Millie had issues.
Well, we sought help from a trainer/Behaviorist and found out that she has quite the napoleon complex but were able to semi-fix her biting issues.  basically,  she doesnt like kids and doesnt want to be handled by them. PERIOD!
She likes smaller dogs but becomes psychotic with the bigger ones, much to the detriment of her own life.
The trainer called me this am and has given his recommendation .
He said that there is no doubt that our family loves her but 1) we have a younger child, as  well as her friends who are over all the time and 2) we have 2 BP's that she hates,  although Gunner thinks she is just playing with him.

He said that keeping her in our household will likely make her more aggressive due to the fact that what stresses her most is not going away, IE Kira, and that as good as Kira is one day she will snap and Millie may not survive that.
He has recommended rehoming her.  My heart is breaking.
He said he has a young woman with other Chi's that he would like to set up a meeting with to see how she does.

Im going to go ahead with it, as it isnt fair to Millie or our other pups to be locked away from us when they all want to be with us but, for Millie to just out of no where, fly off the couch and attack a sleeping Kira unprovoked just cant happen anymore.

Kira has become a little withdrawn the last couple of weeks as the attacks have gotten more frequent.
Yesterday, Kira had her whole body in her mouth and if my son hadnt grabbed Kira's head she would have started that head shake and turned Millie into a rag doll.
I NEVER imagined this would turn out so bad.  I honestly thought with training she would turn around. 
The trainer said that 5 weeks of training really isnt enough but at this point Millie is in danger and so is Kira especially since she has become depressed.

I am meeting with them in a few hours, I hope I can do this.
I called our vet for a second opinion, as she has witnessed millie attack Kira and she said that she thinks the trainer is making the right recommendation .

GAHHHHH, this day started out with laughs and smiles with my kids but now im a complete mess.


Thank you all so much for the support.  It means alot to have people who understand what it means to have to make the decision to give up a pet, a pet that we consider a family member.

Millie has a new home as of 3 pm this afternoon.  We met at the girl's house, her suggestion, so I could see who and where Millie would be living.
She has a very nice home with LOTS of toys and a huge backyard, 2 other chi's as well as a pappy and a french bulldog which Millie gets along with so far.
Millie took to her quickly but when I got up to leave,  she ran to the door ahead of me and that is when the tears came.
I know she will be taken care of there, I could see that in how well she takes care of her other babies.
I told the older kids and they are ok with it.  They rather that she live some where else and be safe.
Now I just have to tell Baileigh,  even though Millie bit her several times, she still loves that dog.
So, im gonna buy her , her favorite ice cream and tonight after dinner(she has dance classes tonight, so she wont be home till later) we will tell her and we can bawl in ice cream together.
I have told Logan and Tyler as well as my husband that we will NOT be bringing another pet into this home until after Kira's days with us,  even though this is not Kira's fault.  It's just too hard.

« Last Edit: February 23, 2009, 11:57:58 am by KiraNGunnersmom »
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Offline marinafb

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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2009, 05:11:19 am »

I am sorry to hear this but sometimes it just works that way sounds like you have done your best to figure what is causing the aggression issues and you don't want any one to be injured. I wouldn't really call that failing there are so  many dogs looking for homes because no one took the time to try and figure out there behavior issues. Sometimes no mater how much you would like it to work you just have to move forward for the dogs sake and yours.As painful as it is i believe you did all you could that's not failing! Marina
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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2009, 05:12:59 am »
You certainly did not fail. You gave it way more effort than most people would. Recognizing what is best for everybody I'm sure is an extremely hard thing to do, but sounds like the right thing. My sister gave up a Scottie that was dangerous to have around once she had her son. It was the right decision and I'm sure led to a much happier life for the Scottie too.


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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2009, 05:41:05 am »
You did not fail. You succeeded. Sometimes success is having to make the hard decisions. My heart is breaking for you. :'(

But I have so much respect for you and your trainer. He obviously cares by helping you find a new home for Millie. I sincerely hope all works out well with the meeting and it takes the extra pain off your heart by not having to prolong the search for a new home.

 :-* :'( :-* :'( :-*

Offline vmimom2006

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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2009, 06:08:23 am »
No failures at all. You are doing what is best for all...that is not failure! But I know it hurts too  :'(
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Offline Rosalba

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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2009, 06:12:00 am »
Oh I'm sorry it's had to come to this. I can only imagine how hard it must be on you and your family, but it does sound like the fairest decision for everyone. You jus can't fight an animal's personality some times.... But you really have done all you can and at this point the priority should be everyone's safety... So good luck and please don't feel too bad, just keep in mind you are doing what's best for both little and big paws :)

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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2009, 06:13:11 am »
I went through a similar situation and I know how hard it is. :'( Your doing the right thing.. It may not feel like it now but it will once the chaos settles down.

My hubby had got me a rough coat female Saint pup (Mia) for my birthday and my excitement turned to heartbreak. Lola hated her with a passion and the worst moment was when Lola grabbed Mia by the stomach and slammed her into the refrigerator and to the floor. Mia was ok.. but I wasn't. At the time I was in such a panic that I wasn't seeing the 'signs' that started the fights. I blamed Lola.. Until I saw Mia staring Lola down from across the room, at first all I saw was Lola shoot over and grab her not thinking a puppy could/would instigate anything. Unfortunately cute and innocent she was not. :( Mind you Lola did start the occasional fight too.

We went to a trainer/behaviourist and he recommended re-homing Mia pretty much from the beginning but I didn't want to give up. Mia also had a 'napoleon complex' and we didn't know at the time was the dominant pup in the litter. We now know that dominant females and Lola don't mix, we learned that lesson the hard way. :'(

I too felt like a failure, but the attitude from Lola was getting worse to the point where she bit Bubba (Even to this day Bubba and Lola's relationship has never been the same) and the whole dynamic in our house had changed. It was litterally h*ll, everyone was stressed and I didn't want to be alone with my own dogs.

Even still when Mia left I was heartbroken and cried at the drop of a hat for weeks. But I know now I did the right thing. At the time it sure didn't feel like it.


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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long .
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2009, 10:35:49 am »
You most certainly gave more than most people would. The effort and time you put into the situation is not a failure, I would call that responsible pet ownership. Doing nothing and allowing the problems to escalate would be a failure. I know kids don't usually understand, but you have to do what is best for the whole family. I don't know any words to lessen the difficulty, but know that you are in our thoughts, and we are sincerely sorry you have to go through this.


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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long . *Updated*
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2009, 01:30:37 pm »
aw Michelle...I'm sorry to hear about Kira and Millie, but I'm happy that Millie has a good home...It mustve been so hard.  I hope my boy's outcome is as hopeful as Millie's  :)

You did good!

Offline Ursa

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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long . *Updated*
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 03:41:07 pm »
I know what a tough decision this was but you did what was in the best interests of both dogs.  Hugs to you and your little one!
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Offline Kermit

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Re: I gave it my all but failed. Long . *Updated*
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2009, 01:04:25 pm »
Oh, you have got me crying over here. :'(

It's so sad when our babies don't get along together. Sounds like you put lots and lots of time and effort and love into trying to make things work. But in the end it I believe you did exactly the right thing for everyone. To me it doesn't sound like failure at all. Only a strong person could do everything you did.

I hope everyone adjusts well to all the changes. Best of luck to you.