D A M N I T O L -- Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to h*ll for
up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'SW O R T -- Plant extract that treats
mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two
days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N -- Suppository that eliminates melancholy
and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers
and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O -- Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two
full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,
decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L -- When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R -- Increases life expectancy of commuters
by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N -- Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better
person .Can we get naked now?"
BUYAGRA -- Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency,duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N -- Relieves headache caused by a man who can't
remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the
toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A -- spray carried in a purse or wallet to
be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total
strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T -- When administered to a boyfriend or
husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who
can handle it.
I think I would like 2 damitols about right now
