we live in a 750 sq ft 3rd floor unit of a single family home - with a fenced in yard - in Chicago near sox stadium. real estate is a premium in the city, and my gf's still a grad student, so we're on a budget...
i'm beginning to find it annoying that i'm judged for keeping 2 rather 'large' dogs (golden and now st. bernie) in this "condition". my friends in CA says it's (and i quote) "just too mean to the dogs" because i don't live in a house w/ a big back yard.
we walk our dogs twice a day at the park, take 'em to the dog beach often, carry 'em for drives along the lake shore, feed 'em PREMIUM kibbles, have a pretty darn reliable vet. this year so far, my golden's been to the vet 4 times.
when I tried to adopt a golden in CHI, golden rescue of IL scoffed because we weren't (rich?) in the burbs w/ a huge backyard. when i tried to adopt in LA, they laughed because i said the dog MAY stay outside. catch 22 or oxymoron??? our st. bernie was obtained off craigslist.com from a desperate family. the golden was an older unwanted stud dog ex backyard breeder in the boondocks of IN. i'm not sure how else to get people off my back. would people rather see these things put down? or is my city apartment a better home? GEE i wonder..
I think sometimes we are not protective enough of ourselves. A few years ago I put up with the comments from friends who would say, "It's those darned dogs that are holding you back. They cost too much. Get rid of them!" Then, I went through a very difficult time for about four years. Who was there for me? Why, the dogs, of course.
After that I thought back to the comments so-called friends made. I think if a person is a real friend they will be more respectful and less know-it-all judgmental. For example, many people like to belittle others, but they are really just silly two-faced morons.
I have a friend who lives on a ranch. She seems to have found a guy who is well-to-do as she raises goats and sends out updates with photos about their progress. When I took in Betti (rescue from a breeder who confiscated her from neglectful owners) she criticized me harshly for taking a purebred dog when there are all of those others out there. She really perched on a soap box and was quite extreme.
Not a month later she brought home a purebred border collie. I think she paid for it, too. I wrote back to her and made the point that we never know what will happen, etc., etc. I think she also missed the point that I did not PAY for Betti...only Betti's numerous vet bills. To that, she would exclaim that she has spent over $40,000 on a horse's veterinary care.
So, for some people there is no hope. They just do not get it and are ready to preach their pseudo values on everyone else. I think it makes them feel better or puts them in this authoritative position where they feel strong giving people like us (who take it in the bum) advice.
The way I look at it now, if they are a real friend, then they can take the answer I give them when I say, "Sorry to rain on your parade, but did I ask your opinion? I feel that my dogs are perfectly happy. I am so glad I have them." Or something like that.
Another comeback I've used lately is, "I do it because I want to, gosh!" I learned that from Napoleon Dynamite. Many people say that is a stupid movie, but for those who see the different layers it is really a remarkable film that has many lessons to teach. There are a myriad of ignoramus questions employed by weirdos that can be easily answered with, "I do whatever I want to, gosh!" because what else is there, really? What can they say? Instead of giving a logical explanation and trying to appease them, we really do not owe them anything and, besides, who gives a hoot what they think anyway? If we are doing something because it makes us happy, then there really is nothing they can say without being jerks.
