I've learned so much from this thread.
My two oldest are special needs kids and in the SSD.
I have a 15 yr old Bi-Polar (Non specific) who is right now, on only half days of school with her core classes as dicted by her IEP. Everything is highly structered untill they can get a specialist to come in and observe her. They want to place her in a seperate school setting . Her manic cycle is so much more stronger and violent then they can handle. I had to sign a paper giving them permission to restrain her if she becomes a danger to herself or others. She is on so much medication and this week we had another emergency apointment for her. Her meds were increased. She's suspended for three days now, but in a way I'm releived. It'll give a chance and some hope the meds will kick in. She is also LD. She can't read or distinquish letters. She sees a word and memerizes it's shape. She dosn't see them as words in a sentence, but a string of shapes that mean something. She's 15 and reading on a 3 grade leval. She's not MD, however. Her IQ tested at 132. That's border-line high.
My son's story is very sad,too.
When he was in kindergarden the school tried to diagnose him with ADHD too. They demanded he be put on medication. How the h*ll can a school, full of teachers,diagnose that? We were distressed but with him being one of our oldests we didn't know much and did as we were told for him. Things got worse. He was on just about everything the docter could give him. By first grade, he came home with bad headacks and would just lay limp on the couch. One day I just dumped it all. Every single pill went in the toilet. I couldn't stand seeing my child so zoned and gone. He was growing more and more withdrawn, more and more obsessive, more and more impulsive. He wouldn't look anyone in the eye. He showed less and less emotion. Brilliant child, extremely brilliant. He was reading 12th grade leval books, yet he couldn't even write his own name without putting holes in his paper. He was being sent home,suspended, so often it was a wonder he passed school at all for all the days he had been made to miss.
By third grade, things just doubled. He'd always been proned to outbursts, but things got totally out of hand at home and at school. Nothing we could do to console him at all. He still wouldn't look anyone in the eye. He was emotionally detached from everyone, including me and my husband. His constant outbursts were to the point of shrilling, painfull screams and it was just this raw,primal anquish in his actions. Like he was being sucked into some odd,weird world that only he could feel and see. Alone..that's the best word to discribe my son at that time. He looked utterly lost and alone...and terrified for it. We looked from docter to docter for some professional help and everyone said the same thing..ADHD. But I knew it had to be something else. This didn't seem right at all.
Upon "Meet the Teacher" day,my husband and I went to each of our children's classrooms. Then we walked into his. All the little desks so neatly in a row. We noticed cute name tags on each one so we started looking for his. But neither of us found it. I asked the teacher where Patrick's desk was,expectantly...and she just smirked (she really did) after unsuccessfully avoiding our question and pointed to way back in the corner of the room..FACING THE WALL! That was his permanant seat. He was not allowed anywhere near the other students! He was isolated to the back of the room, not even allowed to look at anyone, let alone partisapate in any of the lessons.
That did it. My husband stormed out of there so fast I couldn't even keep up and he marched into the Princable's office. He demanded that our child get the education that is due him. That we had to work together and find something that works for Patrick, as a team!
Lot's of testing...load s of it revealed that my son does not have ADHD, but Asperger Syndrom. It's high functioning form of Autism.
Once he was diagnosed, things fell into place. First,we had to undo all the damage done to him. Show him how to express his emotions without screaming outbursts... and so many other life skills. We are still working on quite a few (He's 13 now) and he's still in a self contained classroom with some intrigation into other classrooms. On his last year at the elementary school,something happened. It was like an awakening. He learned to cry, he learned to hug...and I remember one day, listening to my younger daughter's orchistra recidal, and my 11 year old son put his arm around my shoulder, layed his head down and just snuggled. I hadn't felt that from him for so long and he was still,content and connecting to the world around him.
Issues... I've got 'em too. You're right. Children force us to be stronger, for THEM. They need it.
