For the love of God someone cheer me up!!!

[DixieSugarBear]

"Ma'am" is code-word for "old hag".

Not in the South.  I am in my 40's and I say Ma'am to any one over 20.  I don't get upset about many thing but to have a kid say yes and not yes Ma'am to me makes me crazy.  I think it is a very nice way to  show of respect to others.

[brigid67]

Lisa - I forgot about the Ma'am thing in the South.  You are right about the politness thing... but when your not use to hearing it - it can be a little shocking at 1st

Tina - lol I still get carded but in Vegas they card everyone.  I had missed placed my license and last week wanted to meet some friends at this bar we go to frequently.  I know the bouncer - he know I am way over 21 and old enought to be his big sister at the very least.  He would not let me in - I was shocked!!!  No license - no drink...Then went across the street to this other place where we hang - I know the owner.  The door guy cards me....lol - He was a little guy so I just breezed past him - told him "I eat here all the time - never have had a problem before" and went in....lol he was a little shocked.

[DixieSugarBear]

[/quLisa - I forgot about the Ma'am thing in the South.  You are right about the politness thing... but when your not use to hearing it - it can be a little shocking at 1st
ote]

I guess it is just not shocking here because when you are small you even say yes Ma'am to your teen babysitter. 

[brigid67]

I grew up in southerne california in the 70's and 80's.  Everything was very bohemian then.  I remember some of my frineds calling their parents by their 1st names.  So Ma'am was not something you ever heard.  As it is now - my kids friends always just call me Timmie - no Ma'am or Mrs

[DixieSugarBear]

Kinda cool, bet the kids love it.

[Good Hope]

Ok. Gypsy,

Someone emailed this to me a few months ago. (I save the good ones, never know when you might need one.) Hope this will help with the hangover.

Enjoy,
Deena


> WAL-MART APPLICATION... This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny......... you gotta love it!!!
> NAME: George Martin
> SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate)
> DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
> EDUCATION: Yes.
> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
> PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.? Of what?
> DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
> DO YOU SMOKE? On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
> NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh yes, absolutely.
> ***Old People Rock! ***

[GYPSY JAZMINE]

Ok. Gypsy,

Someone emailed this to me a few months ago. (I save the good ones, never know when you might need one.) Hope this will help with the hangover.

Enjoy,
Deena


> WAL-MART APPLICATION... This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny......... you gotta love it!!!
> NAME: George Martin
> SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate)
> DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
> EDUCATION: Yes.
> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
> PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.? Of what?
> DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
> DO YOU SMOKE? On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
> NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh yes, absolutely.
> ***Old People Rock! ***

LMAO Deena!...Ty!...The Southern Comfort & Coke helped last night but I'd probably be more alert today if I'd read your funny last night instead because I swear it's just what the dr. ordered!...lol!...That is great!!!

[ZooCrew]

Good hope that is hilarious.  I think I've read it somewhere before, but it certainly put a smile on my face.