Drake almost killed me....

[Newf Lover]

There is nothing more dangerous than a big, black dog that likes to sleep on the floor of a pitch black hallway.  I got up to go to work this morning, went out of our bedroom into the hallway and before I knew it, I was on the floor.  Drake prefers to sleep on our hardwood floor, opposed to his nice soft dog bed in our bedroom.  He starts out on his dog bed when we go to bed, but usually he gets up and goes to lay in the hallway.  He decided to lay right next to the door last night and with the shorter days we are getting now, it's still dark when I get up.  So as I'm tripping over him this morning, he doesn't even move and barely lifts his head as I crash to the floor.  This isn't the first time he's done that, I think he's trying to kill me so it will just be him and Sarah.  Maybe I should change his name to Oedipus..... 

Has anybody else almost been inadvertently killed by their dog?

[BabsT]

My near death experiences are more from tripping over their toys....You would think with having a son that I would used to it, but he picks his up LOL...Stepping on hooves isnt fun

I am glad that you are ok though

[Icerotti]

OMG..LMAO.

Oh I can so relate to your pain. Puck lays in the hallway at night sometimes after starting in our bedroom too.
Black hallway+Black dog+no contacts or glasses= many sore elbows, knees and heads.
Then he looks at me like what is your problem I was sleeping!!!!!!!!

[Jessdryden]

Sasha does this too.  She sleeps between our bed and the bathroom so if you have to get up in the middle of the night it's like an obstacle course.  She always acts very offended if we trip over or step on her. 

[GrumpyBunny]

Hmmmm, Gwen usually tries to kill us with her toy that we call the "bacon ball".  It's like a teeth-cleaning ball with little nubbies that protrude out, and it tastes like bacon, hence the name.  The nubbies are death if you step on them.  She will leave it laying around the house in the dark so that we step on it, or bring it up on the bed and hide it in the covers so that we roll over onto it.  All you hear is "AAAGGGHHHHHHH. ...  BACON BALL!"

Ranger tries to kill us in a variety of ways.  He cuts and rips our flesh with his super sharp paws and dew claws.  I bear many scars from the dagger dews...  He lays where we can trip over him.  He zoomies around the house and then crashes into us for lovin'.  He forces us to rub his belly until we die of boredom. 

And, he tries to sacrifice us to things he is afraid of... 

Yes, he tries to sacrifice us.  I have mentioned this before, but twice when Ranger has seen something that really scared him (a dummy that we put up for Halloween) he has barked at it, and then run around behind one of us, and stood up on his hind legs and planted his paws in our back, pushing us forward towards the thing he is scared of.  He is like "Here, take the redhead!"... 

I think he thinks if he creates a diversion, he can escape while we are being eaten....   

[Anakalia]

OMG!! I'm laughing so hard right now!! Oh these stories are just too funny.  I can also relate so maybe that's why I find humor in others misfortunes.

Ramsey my maltese tried to kill me everyday, but he's not a big paw so he doesn't really matter here.

Koby doesn't try to kill me but I've gotten hurt more by the stupid things I've done around him!  For instance, he tried taking both my feet off by using his outside cable.  He likes to wrap around ya with the cable the take off like a bat out of h*ll!  He's actually taken my legs out from underneath me and I've fallen outside flat on my back.  Then you know what happens.... ya gotta stand up as quick as possible and look around to see if anyone is looking at ya!   I actually have war wounds from that d#m# cable!  Tony needs to put up a fence, but I think he gets a kick out of my injuries.

Newf Lover.... I've actually tripped over Koby too, but it was during the day!  You have a perfect excuse because it was dark out and you didn't see him.  Me being the dork that I am got to talking to Tony and thought Koby had moved so I went to walk and tripped over him and fell flat on my face!  Koby didn't even move, he stayed sleeping the whole time!  I guess that teaches me not to walk and talk at the same time!

Andi

[shangrila]

Zoey has deffinately tried to kill me, but my near death experiences have more to do with her stepping on me than the other way around. She is very clumsy and doesn't realize that she ways a million pounds. When we let her on the bed, and she wants to change sleeping positions, she will sometimes accidentally step on Dan or I instead of the mattress, and occasionally just stand there, with  all of her weight focused on that one paw.  I have said the phrase "help, she's squishing my vital organs" more than I would like...

[Summer]

My dobbie, Jax, who is no longer with me, was once lying in the dark on the slate (as in very very hard) floor of my parents house.  I was running  to get the phone and went flying when I hit him.  I landed on my elbow and should of had stitches!

A friend (big guy, 6'4") got taken out at the dog park.  Blind sided by running dogs.  He had to go the emergency room, because something happened to his knee.  He said it was very embaressing when he had to explain at the emergency room what happened   That just goes to show you to pay attention at the dog park!

Summer tried to kill me last week.  On our morning walk (ie, I'm half asleep) she's walking like a good girl when all of a sudden she see's a squirrel and charges across the street.  It's pretty quite because it's 6:00 am so I would have dropped the leash if I could, but I had wrapped it around my wrist.  So she's dragging me across the street and I'm barely able to keep my feet under me and she pulls me into a stop sign and I got a bad scrape the length of my forearm.  Good thing there wasn't anyone around to hear me swearing!!!

[Nicole]

Grumpy, YOU ARE SO FLIPPIN' HILARIOUS! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHA ! I'm laughing so hard right now...."Here, take the Red head!" HAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAH! That is too funny.

So, now that I've moved to the farm, there is Cabeza, (my BLACK dog), Lex (my BLACK cat) and Reggie (my landlady's BLACK dog). They all sleep in my apartment at night. Its three stinkin black lumps. I usually trip and fall three times on every "trip" (pardon the pun) to the bathroom. So, Newflover, I can SO relate.

And grumpy, Cabeza has a similar medievil torture device, err, I mean bone. But its the Minty bone. Its a nylabone with a minty middle. But, its got the nubs and all. You can't see it that well, but here it is:


It has caused many a toe injury in the middle of the night.

Also, my cats are on a mission to suffocate me in the night. I'm sure of it.

[Nicole]

Oh, and Newflover, I'm crackin' up at the thought of you renaming Drake Oedipus! hahahhahaha!

[Newf Lover]

Yeah Nicole, I'm really thinking about renaming him!  Drake is such a TURKEY!!!  It seems as if he likes to sleep in the worst places possible, dark hallways, right next to the front door and he gets all indignant when we make him move.  Grunts, deep breaths, the whole enchilada.  I think that's why he trips me up, REVENGE for making him move. 

After hearing everybody's dog-in-the-bed horror stories, I glad he doesn't like sleeping in our bed.  He snores really loudly too which wakes me up in the next room.  Also, I can just see him stepping on my groin with all of his Newf weight, OUCH!  Or rolling over into a big pool of Newf drool.  YUCK!

[Tulsas' Dad]

I've learned to do the "Midnight Shuffle", move slowly, and only lift your feet 1 inch of the floor.

[Heighway]

I got up in the night and rammed my foot into Hightower, 170 pounds of sound asleep newf.  I broke 3 toes, missed a week of work.  He slept on........

[Carolyn]

I do the midnight shuffle too. Apache usually lays in between the bedroom & livingroom so I feel for fur with my toes. I really like the full moon nights otherwise the only light I put on is the one over the stove.
Carolyn

[Newf Lover]

I got up in the night and rammed my foot into Hightower, 170 pounds of sound asleep newf.  I broke 3 toes, missed a week of work.  He slept on........

Have you guys gotten Webster yet???