Author Topic: The Misadventures of Ang  (Read 4004 times)

Offline Anky

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The Misadventures of Ang
« on: November 09, 2005, 11:38:49 pm »
Today........ was a misadventure day.  I was on my way to work.  My gas needle was below empty.  But it's always below empty.  Because I'm poor.  And I'd never actually run out of gas before.  In this car....  Anyways, I'm going down a hill and I hit the gas and nothing happens.  This perplexes me.  I hit harder.  Car goes "BLAHHHHHHH" and DIES in the middle of the road.  "Crap" I say to myself.  Here I am alone in a well traveled, nicely lit road in a well to do neighborhood in the middle of the day without my guard dog to protect me.  What dastardly things could happen to me in this situation?

Well I call my mom's cell.  Voicemail.  Call Matt.  Phone isn't even on, goes right to voicemail.  GRRRRRR HIM!  Call Fram's cell.  She says to call Mom.  I say I DID, but I get her voicemail.  Fram says call the school (Mom is in a teacher's conference), and say it's an emergency.  Call secretary, who knows me, and say it's a wicked emergency.  In about 20 seconds I hear my mom hollering for people to get out of her way, and she gets on the phone all breathless (I must here interject that my mom's conference was 4 floors away from the office phone).  "WHAT?  ARE YOU OK?"  "Mummy, I just ran out of gas."  "YOU WHAT?!?!?!?!  I thought you were DEAD!"  "Mommy I need GAS!!!!!!"  "Call AAA."  "But I'm POOR and they want money!  AAA sucks."  "Angela Christine don't say sucks."  "Uh Oh a cop"  (I have a fear of cops.  The Cops in Nashua are wicked crooked.  They've been sued so many times it's a wonder the Town Hall hasn't been repossessed).  "What's he doing?"  "NOTHING, OMG Mom he didn't even stop!  What a friggin JERK!"  "Well he probably thought you just pulled over to use your phone like you're supposed to.  I bet he's commending you."  "Mom NO one pulls over to use their phone."  "Yes they do."  "No they don't.  Only old people do."  "ANGELA CHRISTINE I AM NOT OLD!"  "You pull over to talk on the phone?  HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  "Stay right there and I'll call you back."  "Yeah Mom because I'm gonna go somewhere."

Waiting.  (I find out later that she called and started flipping out that here I am stuck on the side of the road and wouldn't even answer my phone!  Then she realized she called my sister.)  She calls and tells me that Nathan is going to bring me gas.  WONDERFUL.  Who's Nathan?  He's a very nice man she says.  Yeah they said that about that TDK guy too.  He says "Tell her I carry a gun" in the background.  MAHVELOUS and he thinks he's funny.   ::) 

So I'm waiting and here comes this Mitsubishi Eclipse with this rotund man with a Goatee that looks REALLY small on his face.  With him is..... some guy.  OK......  Nathan introduces "Pierre".  *Must not laugh Must not laugh*  I shake the man's hand with some twisted facial expression that resided between Maniacal ponderings and constipation.  So withing 38 seconds I come to the conclusion that these are the most mechanically inept men in the WORLD.  Took them 5 minutes to figure out how to use the gas can.  So they're trying to make conversation. 

They ask why a little girl like me drives such a big car.....  Yeah buddy start with the short cracks.  Bast***.  I tell them it's for my dog.  Nathan says he hates dogs.  Uh oh.........  He hates the hair, the drooling, the underfootednes s, the tails wagging and hitting you....  You know all the stuff we love?  I think I cut my tongue in half biting it.  Then Pierrrrrreee says that his new wife wants a dog but wants it to be in the house.  Dogs don't belong in the house.  It must be a new england thing.  ARGHHHH  They ask if I know anyone that lets their dogs in the house.  I stare them straight in the eye and say "Everyone I know that still has a soul keeps their dogs in the house."  Thankfully the gas can was now empty.

I go to start the car.  *Carunka*  CRAP.  Call Matt's cell.  Still no answer.  Call Dobles.  They didn't answer.  They're a huge car conglomerate.  They HAVE to answer!  They have annoying nasal voiced secretaries to do so.  I call AAA, tell them to come and then I call Matt's cell again.  Leave a message something like this.  "Hi Honey my car ran out of gas, but it's OK cuz I have gas now but it's not starting, it isn't dead, and it isn't the starter cuz it makes noise, goes *Carunka* but it only does it once, and then nothing, but I don't know what it is and I called AAA and they're coming but they didn't want to give me a flat bed but they HAVE to give me one because it's the 4 Wheel drive and now they're gonna make me wait longer and I need your help and you never answer your phone but I love you Bye."  Yes all in one breath.  I rule.

So then Nathan and Pierrrreee don't want to leave me because they're all gallant and stuff.  I glare at them.  Dog haters.  Spawn of Satan.  They give me totally pointless tips.  My car isn't starting my starter must be broken.  Idiot.  Am I sure I ran out of gas?  Rube.  Have I had problems with my muffler?  WHAT?!?!?!?!  I say "My boyfriend is a mechanic, he'll figure it out."  Oh they suddenly remember that Pierrrrrrrree has an appointment and must get back.  TOODLES. 

About half an hour later my Grandmother comes by. She announces she has come to take me to work, as I am horribly in debt and MUST go to work.  She has brought my grandfather to watch the truck till the Tow guy came.  I show them how it doesn't work.  I give my keys to my grandfather, show him where I hide my AAA card in case he needs it, give him the reference number and leave.  Four minutes later we pull into my work's parking lot.  My grandmother's phone rings.  It's my grandfather.  He started my car.  HOW?  He put the key in.  I hate him.  I really do.

« Last Edit: November 10, 2005, 06:34:25 am by Jacksmom »
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Offline ZooCrew

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2005, 02:46:32 am »
Awwe, I feel for you Ang really I do.

I used to have the same problem with my last car.  It seemed to start for everyone else but me.  Had the alternator replaced twice.  Still nothing.  Turns out I was using cheap gas.  Stopped going to that station and never had problems again.  Well, not that problem anyway.

I've been in your shoes.  I hope your grandparents don't hold this against you.  And what kind of people don't like dogs not even a little bit?  I know of very few that don't allow them in the house.  Sorry you were stuck with heathens for so long.

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2005, 03:48:49 am »
OMG Ang, I am sorry to hear of your bad experience (however) I was laughing while reading - you are funny!  :D  Dog haters is right - I just don't get those types of people?!  How could anyone NOT like a dog?  INCONCEIVABLE!!!

Take it easy - hope your weekend is better than today was  ;)

Offline Rocky's 'Rents

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2005, 09:35:44 am »
Today........ was a misadventure day. 

Ang, Ang, Ang,
Do you think this is news? A more surprising post would start off "Today nothing happened to me......." ::)
And you know that you love your Grandpap!!!

dohertyswissy

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2005, 09:42:42 am »
Ang - I feel you girl with the cell phone thing.  Why have a cell phone when you aren't going to have it on?!?!  ARGH!  Hubby claims it is b/c my *special* ring is not that loud and he can't change the specific ring tone to be louder than the normal ring.  I told him to change the DARN ring and pick up the fricking phone!  I had to call 3 times this morning before he picked up to see if he had fed Ranger.

Sounds to me like Pierre and Nathan need a good whop upside the head.

Grab a drink, girl.  It'll make you feel better.   :)


Offline amberdoggoneit

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2005, 10:10:03 am »
Ang, I was in the exact same situation last week.  I called my boyfriend like a thousand times and the @ss was sleeping and he didnt hear his ring.  My car didnt start though even when AAA came.  They were like "maam you might as well take it to the junk yard cause it will never run agian. "  And the Worst thing was is my only answer ( which my boyfriend got mad about later) was but my dogs have a play date tonight and do you know how hard it is to put six dogs in a car.  I need my SUV.  I wasnt like i need to get to work.  Anyways my boyfriend calls me like at 1 in the afternoon at work to see what i needed after he went running, took a shower, got something to eat and was on his way to work.  I said didnt you see how many missed calls you had and didnt you listen to your voicemails.  All he had to say was "Well you always call me like a thousand times when you are bored at work, and the emergenices are usually funny posts like this one that are on BPO."  Needless to say he slept on the couch that night.  So believe me i feel your pain.
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Offline dgodden5459

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2005, 10:13:01 am »
Poor Ang, I fyou didn't have bad luck it seems you wouldn't have any luck at all.. Love ya girl
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Offline K9ldy00

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2005, 10:19:24 am »
Sorry about your misadventure, but you do write one dang funny story :D
 As for people who don't like dogs, they should live on another planet!
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Offline Scootergirl

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2005, 11:59:48 am »
Oh Ang, you have such a talent for telling stories. Really. You should write a book!

Sorry you're morning sucked. At least you brightened mine!

Jeanne
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Offline Anky

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Re: The Misadventures of Ang
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2005, 11:08:53 pm »
Teehee Matt finally did call me.  But far from being concerned he said "WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT RUNNING OUT OF GAS?!?!?!  You're going to kill your car and it's too expensive!"  Sigh.  He also was not impressed with the guys who stopped to help.  He said he needs to meet them to educate them.....

I like disasters.  They're funny.  If my life was happy go lucky I swear I'd be miserable.  It's like the two oracles.  One only forsees good things and one bad.  The one that forsees bad things is always happy because she learns to appreciate the little good things that happen.  The one who sees only bad is all depressed because when you see good all the time it loses it's specialness. 

I would love to write a book.  About the sect of dog crazy people.  I already have an intro.  It's going to be a novel of some sort.  Losely based on my experiences in the dog lover eat dog lover world ;)

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