Today I was coming home from work. At noon. Because they don't need me anymore. Sigh. Anyways, I was going through an intersection (I had the green light) and this SUV cuts in front of me, I miss him by inches, and he freaks and slams his brakes and goes into a spin. Once he stopped he flips me off. I yell something IMMENSELY lady like out the window and he calls me the word that makes all women cringe. I pull one of my stunt driving moves and pull a 180 and slide into a stop in front of him so he can't go anywhere. He's looking at the back of his car which has a Semper Fi (Marine Corps) and Support the State Troopers sticker, and a Harley decal. No dents scrapes or anything. However this didn't appease him.
The conversation is kind of dull with out the actual vernacular which is frowned upon in polite society. Needless to say I said "Dear sir I hope you are alright. However I feel that the gesture you bestowed upon me was unessecary, and I am sure it was an oversight on your part. And I'm also just as sure that that coarse term relating to female genetalia was something I heard wrong. Please enlighten me." The guy says "My dear woman. I was simply venting my frustration at your lack of driving skills. A malady that is shared by all females." I said "DEAR SIR, I find your closemindednes s insulting especially when you consider that by the laws of the road of our dear state, I had the right of way, so in fact you were in error." The gentleman said "My dear lady, I am a large individual and as a large individual and party to certain priveldges. Intimidation affords me to not have to pay for my mistakes." I say "My dear sir, if you think for one moment that I am one to be bullied you are very mistaken. I have been through much hardship in the past week and you are the least of my worries."
And now back to reality.
The guy stares at me and says "You're not scared of me? Don't you see my bumper stickers?"
I bust out laughing. He gets mad and leaves. Five minutes later I'm still on the side of the road in my car holding the steering wheel for dear life. Sigh...... I have resolved to get many bumper stickers that declare my insidious nature. If my car's butt says it, it must be true!
