Kid gets suspended for writing an essay about KILLING his teacher. Then the parents are all up in arms because not only has be been suspended but now will be unable to play football....sa y what???
What is wrong with parents today? Always blaming other kids as the bad influence. Lying, cheating, and covering... FOR WHAT; afraid of what people might think of them?
Par for the course, Cindy. Just par for the course. Let me jump up on your soapbox with you for a minute, wouldja?
As a former high school teacher, I can tell you from experience that in 98.9 percent of the cases of âproblem kidââthe real problem is piss poor parenting. Teachers are absolutely hamstrung by the system to do anything to fix this. I could tell you dozens of stories, but let me tell you about the first time I realized that rotten parents are whatâs wrong with schools.
I was a first year teacher in a very small town. The ONLY thing that anyone in that school gave a hoot in he** about was the sports programâstarting with the principal, who started out as a football/baseball coach.
I was teaching 9th grade English, and one particular class consisted, because of the vagaries of scheduling â7th period gymâ so the boys could all practice together, of 32 boys and 4 girls. All of them were on the freshman football team as the school year started. It was a difficult class from the startâall that 14-15 year old testosterone in the same room with so few females. Most of these boys also had the same math class together, and the male math teacher had even more trouble with them than I did, so it wasnât just me. It was the combination. We got thru the first term by the skin of their teeth, because they all had to have weekly progress reports showing that they were at least passing every class in order to be eligible to play in that weekâs game, per the coachâs edict. All Dâs was sufficient, but they had to be passing. Then football season ended, and all he** broke loose.
There was one particular kid who all the other boys considered the âbestâ guy. The best athlete, the one the girls paid the most attention to (why, I never figured out, he was pizza faced and potty mouthed), and the one everyone was convinced was going to go to BYU and be a great Cougar quarterback for Lavell Edwards. He played basketball and baseball as well, and the hero worship that kid got from his classmates was just disgusting to watch.
SoâŚend of the 2nd term rolls around, and this kid has a D+ in English. Combined with all his other grades, it left him with a 1.9 gpaâand according to the state activities rules, players were ineligible if they had less than a 2.0. Now, clearly, with a 1.9, itâs not like he was doing really WELL in any class. Nonetheless his parents, with the principal right behind them, show up in MY classroom to complain about his grade. âHe should have gotten a C.â Well, no, hereâs the grade book, and seeâhe not only got bad grades on his tests, he didnât turn in even half of the homework. âWell, he did it. You have to change his grade.â OK, so now Iâm getting annoyed. âWell, if he did it, he should have turned it in. I canât grade anything he didnât turn in, lady.â âWell, heâll bring it in on Monday, and you can grade it and change his grade.â Yeah, rightâlike heâs going to get the weekend to scrounge up his girlfriendâs old homework to copy! Give me a break. âNot a chance. The term was over 3 weeks ago.â Itâs clear that the only reason these people are in my face is that they think they can intimidate meâlittle do they know. The should have gone after the math teacher.I pulled out the contract that I sent home for all parents to sign the first week, which they had returned to me with their signatures. âLook, my hands are tied. The rule in this class is that I donât accept work thatâs more than a week late unless itâs due to a doctor excused absence. You know that; you signed this contractâsee your signature? Your kid wasnât absent, and thereâs no doctorâs note. Iâm not changing the rules that everyone else got their grades by for one kid.â âBut he wonât be able to play basketball.â Gee golly whiz, what a cosmic shame that would be. âMaybe next term heâll remember to turn in his homework, so heâll be eligible for baseball.â They argued with me some more, but I was pissed by then, and I just said, âLook: he knew the rules, you signed that you knew the rules, and Iâm not making an exception. Period, end of story, Iâm leaving how.â
I deliberately stopped by the gym on the way out and announced to all the coaches and the entire team that I had finished my meeting with the parents of the kid and that his grade was not being changed, and that he was NOT eligible for basketball, and he shouldnât be practicing with the team. Not politic, but I wanted to make the point that I wasnât budging very public.
Well, expecting people to abide by grade contracts is unreasonable, as you all know. The parents appealed his grade to the school board. When I refused to accept the papers or change the grade, they assigned another teacher at another school to grade the homework and the principal took it upon himself to change the grade. This all took like, a month, all underground. The grade change goes in just as basketball seasons starts. The kid is playing. I am LIVID.
But soft! In the meantime: he doesnât do a single assignment all of third term. And he flunks most of the tests. Heâs got that look in his eye that says, âyeah, bitch, you canât touch me.â Which he has every reason to believe, of course, given the pooch screwing that was done on his behalf for basketball season.
So all that time, Iâm doing weekly carbon copy progress reports on him,--one for my file, one for the coachesâ file, one for the office file, and one that gets mailed homeâstating that he has not turned in homework and/or has failed tests and has unsatisfactory citizenship due to disruptive behavior, etc.. Heâs a serious problem child. And Iâm seriously getting more and more pissed. That whole class is turning into him. The 4 girls in it are scared to death, huddling in a corner as far from my desk as possible.
Basketball season ends, as does third term. And he has an F in Englishâalong with about 15 boys who think theyâre going to play the same game. And even though most of them HAVE a 2.0 gpa, the rules also state that you canât play with an F. So none of them are even supposed to be on the baseball field for TRYOUTS.
Another meeting, this time, right to the superintendent and the board. I am so angry over this whole ordeal, Iâve gotten an ulcerâso I am loaded for bear, and have the nuclear option in my pocket as well. I have all my carbon copies, copies of notes I have sent home to all these different parents stating, âYou kid is flunking English.â The first parents are screaming âYouâre taking it out on him because we appealed the last grade and won. You wonât get away with it, weâll have his work graded by the other teacher again,â other parents are screaming that Iâm punishing their kid because heâs that kidâs friendâitâs a mess. The principal is screaming at me along with the parents. The superintendent is about to stroke out. FinallyâŚI just flat lost my evil Irish temper.
It was really, really ugly. I wasnât totally out of control, but I was within inches of it. I told the principal in exquisitely detailed and excessively profane language what I thought of him, I similarly told the superintendent what I thought of him as well, and I REALLY went to town on the primary problem kidâs parents. I was so hardcore I made the father cry. Other parents were practically hiding behind chairs, hoping Iâd forgotten them. I didnât.
Finally, I hit the whole misbegotten bunch of them with the real bomb. âMy high school principal is now head of the activities association. He loves me. He thinks Iâm great. Iâve already spoken with him about whatâs been going on here and about this meeting. And on his advice, Iâm telling you right now, if I see any of those kids anywhere NEAR the baseball field between this moment and the end of school, I will call him back, and I will get this whole da**ed district disqualified from ALL activities, not just sports, ALL ACTIVITIES, for the next 5 years for falsifying student eligibility records. And if I make that call, you people are going to have to move out of state if you want your kids to play another minute of HS sports, because he will make sure they never play in this state again, not in any school that the activities association has jurisdiction over.â Principal goes white, superintendent goes purple, parents almost faint. âYou wouldnât dare.â
âWanna bet? Iâll tell you what. Why donât you call the activities association and ask him if heâs talked to me? The office is open till 5. Hereâs the number. Shall I dial, or will you?â
ALL THIS DRAMA SO A 14 YEAR OLD COULD WHACK A BALL WITH A STICK. Oh, you know what happened to the little jerk? Knocked up his 15 year old girlfriend when he was 16, was made to marry her, never left town. I heard from a classmate of his years later that he ended up working for his FIL at the gas station. See what piss poor parenting causes?
This little episode was the beginning of the severe misanthropy that was 25% of why I quit teaching.
I donât have kids, but I promise you if I ever do, they will be home schooled from the jump. The education systemâs problem isnât about facilities or books, or the administrators, or the state budget, or the union, or the teachersâitâs all about piss poor parenting by people like theseâthe bug up their butt may be something other than sports, but itâs all the same attitude, whatever the bug is. Bad parenting is whatâs ruined our schools, and thereâs no going back. Period, end of story.
