CHRISTMAS CAKE
Ingredients
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
1 cup butter
1 cup flour
2 cups dried fruit
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp salt
lemon juice
4 large eggs
mixed nuts
1 bottle Vodka
To make sure that the Vodka is of the highest quality, pour one cup full & drink.
Repeat if you think it necessary.
Take a large bowl.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat the butter & flour in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure that the Vodka is shtill all right.
Turn off the mixerer.
Break your leggs and add to the bowl & chuck in the cups of dried fruit.
Pick up the fruit off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the Vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt.
Or something.
Who giveshz a sh*t.
Check the Vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice & strain your nuts.
Add one table.
No, add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven and pea in the fridge.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees & try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl outside, finish the Vodka.
Fall into bed.
Cherry Mistmas!
