Author Topic: Adoption help/social worker help  (Read 4020 times)

Offline princessnmi

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Adoption help/social worker help
« on: January 25, 2006, 06:48:17 pm »
Ok this may be long so please bear with me. For those of you who don't know my husband and I have been trying to adopt two little boys that we had fostered while we lived in Texas. It has been one battle after another. Well we have been working on getting our foster care license in the state of Arizona (we were transferred due to military) We started the process to get our foster to adopt license in August of 2005. We find out today that the state of Arizona is probably not going to give us our license because we live on a military base and they can't do drop in inspections because we have to sign them on base. I always thought that getting a call from the military police saying we have a visitor at the front gate and need to come sign them in is a drop in inspection. But I guess the state of Arizona doesn't look at it like that. So I talked to my "mentor" the lady that works with the foster agency in Texas that has been with us since the oldest boy was placed with us June of 2004. She said that all I need to do is get an adoption homestudy done. I need to find a social worker who is licensed to do adoption homestudies. She said that this can cost anywhere from $100 - $600 which we don't really have the money for right now, however I'm sure that I can get some help from my inlaws with that. I was wondering if anyone has ever done an adoption before? Or if anyone by chance is a social worker that is licensed to do adoption homestudy. I have been told that once I get the homestudy done it has to be approved by 3 different people, and then it goes to ITC (international transfer committee) basically its a committee that decides what state is going to pay for these kids (they are special needs kids and get a subsidy pay each month) once ITC gets the case it takes anywhere from 3-6 months for it to be finalized. I haven't seen either one of the boys since August, my husband hasn't seen them since May. We have missed out on the baby's first steps, his first birthday. I have thought about seeing if by chance I could get an apartment in San Antonio and move back, get my foster care license and go from there. At least then the boys could be with me. I would miss my husband and I don't know that we could afford it. I guess right now I'm just going to play it by ear, but was wondering if anyone could offer some advice. I'm sorry I had to post this here, I know you guys don't want to know about my problems but just had to get it off my chest. It has been soo stressful with caseworkers not doing their job and paperwork getting messed up. Now to find out that because I live in military housing I won't be able to do foster care and help more kids out. It just really irritates me. Once again sorry for whining. Thanks for listening.
Proudly owned by: Robin-3 yr old Lab mix, Brody 14 month old Great Dane, Moose a 6 month old dane
Loved by my beautiful daughter Makaylee and my soon to be adopted sons Richard and Jay And the husband too I guess

Offline shangrila

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2006, 06:51:36 pm »
I don't know anything about adoptions, but I wanted to with you good luck. I hope you can figure out a way to make it work out for you and the kids :)
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Offline coonie1970

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2006, 06:58:09 pm »
You are not bothering us at all. BPO is FAMILY!! Im in Canada so Im no help. Hope everything works out for you.
Have you spoke to the kids? are they in a good home?? It must be hard for you.
Good Luck
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Offline longshadowfarms

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2006, 07:08:05 pm »
I'm not sure what kind of info you are looking for.  Yes, I've adopted, but not in the country.  Yes, I've had a home study done.  It is pretty simple.  Mostly paperwork.  I'm so sorry you're being given the runaround.  The kids are the ones who suffer the most.  Might want to try calling a private agency and see if they have someone who certified to do it and how much it would cost.  Here's a thread from another forum that might help you with getting the gumption to go for it.  THere are certainly horror stories but for the most part, it goes smoothly.  Sounds like you need a new social worker.  You may be surprised that a private agency won't cost that much.  It will be worth it in the long run to get what you want.  http://homesteadingtoday.com/vb/showthread.php?t=113807
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Offline NoDogNow

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2006, 07:34:57 pm »
Quote
I need to find a social worker who is licensed to do adoption homestudies.

Have you thought about contacting a religiously-affiliated agency?  Like Catholic Charities/Social Services or LDS Social Services?  Those are the two that I'm familiar with, being Mormon and having taught in a Catholic school where one of my students got pregnant.  I'm sure that other churches have similar programs available as well.






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Offline Imani's Mom

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2006, 01:39:34 pm »
What are the possibilities of moving off base so that you can have the homestudy done and home inspections without the base interfering it in?  It is so sad that these children in need of good homes are the ones who have to suffer because of all the BS and red tape you have to go through just to get them and protect them. They need you- you do not need all the political crap and flaming hoops they make you jump through to do it.

Weedsport, NY

Offline Jessdryden

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2006, 03:30:56 pm »
I'm so sorry that this is so difficult to arrange!  This must be a stressful time for you all.

Is it possible to have your CO or the base chaplin help you?  Maybe the foster agency would agree if you were not the ones to sign them onto base; perhaps they could get permission from the CO or chaplin so they would still be drop in inspections.

Good luck--we're sending you good thoughts and prayers.

Offline ZooCrew

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2006, 03:43:18 pm »
I think that is a load of crap that they won't let you adopt b/c you live on a military base.  Would you really need to sign them in to get on base?  Here, if you don't have an ID or sticker to get on base, all you have to do is get a temporary pass by showing you drivers license, proof of insurance and registration.

And even if they do have to notify you, I would think that it would be a drop by visit.  Not like you have enough time b/t the gate and your house to do a full cleaning/preparation before they arrive.  It must just be the state of AZ, b/c I know of a few people who have adopted on a base in SD, and here in CA with no problems.

Wish I could help other than just voice my own frustration with your situation.  I hope you can find someone to help you out.

Offline islander

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2006, 10:52:05 pm »
I feel your pain... we went through this 6 yrs ago when we adopted too.  Nothing to do with baae housing thought, i am in Canada.  We adopted a special needs 4 yr old at that time and it toook almost 3 yrs and 5 or 6 social workers to finally finalize it!!  (by that time we were pregnant too).  LOTS of paperwork but the homestudy wasnt all that difficult, we did it in one afternoon, it's the references etc that take the time because you are relying on others to get it done.   Good luck to you, I would also talk to someoen in charge on your base and see if special arrangements can be made for the to be able to have someone else let them in thus it being a 'surprise' visit--- we didnt get any of those.

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2006, 01:18:11 pm »
I e-mailed m y friend who has adopted 3 children & is in the process of adopting 2 more...She said to go to this site & someone should beable to offer advice...She said there are social workers who post there...Good luck!  http://forums.adoption.com/

Offline princessnmi

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2006, 10:05:25 pm »
Thank you guys for all of your support. I am meeting on Monday with my husbands first shirt (his boss) He has a few ideas he wants to talk to us about, and he wants to make a few phone calls. He says that when a General in the military calls and demands that stuff  gets done then stuff gets done. I am glad that he is so willing to help us. I will keep you posted as to what happens. I really appreciate the prayers and good thoughts. I haven't had much time to get online because of phone calls, and my baby has been pretty fussy. I am just so frustrated with this whole case. I thought that CPS was for the best interest of the child. But I guess not. Well I better go I still have stuff to do. Here is a picture of the boys who stole our hearts and that we are fighting and will continue to fight until they are back in our homes. Thanks again everyone. I will keep you posted.
Proudly owned by: Robin-3 yr old Lab mix, Brody 14 month old Great Dane, Moose a 6 month old dane
Loved by my beautiful daughter Makaylee and my soon to be adopted sons Richard and Jay And the husband too I guess

Offline chaos270

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2006, 10:10:35 pm »
They are so cute and hopefully your husbands boss willl chew out the right people so you can finally bring them home.  Keep us updated.
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Offline ZooCrew

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2006, 10:46:57 pm »
Oh, what an adorable picture.  I hope your husband's  boss can get some stuff done so the ball gets rolling.

Good luck in bringing these two home.  Keep us posted.

Offline princessnmi

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Re: Adoption help/social worker help
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2006, 05:02:32 am »
The picture I posted is an old picture but it is the most recent one I have. The boys were 34 months, 8 months in the picture and the oldest is over 3 now and the baby is 15 months. I haven't seen them since august so I don't have any new pics. I want to go visit them sooo bad but I know that its just not a good idea. Not only would it be hard on the kids....why did I come back but leave them again? and then I would have a very hard time leaving them behind. So I'm going to just have to wait.
Proudly owned by: Robin-3 yr old Lab mix, Brody 14 month old Great Dane, Moose a 6 month old dane
Loved by my beautiful daughter Makaylee and my soon to be adopted sons Richard and Jay And the husband too I guess