Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
>> This was submitted by> a guy who purchased his lovely wife a
>>"pocket Taser"
>> for their anniversary.
>> Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol &Pawn Shop that
>
>>sparked
>> my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was
>
>>looking fora little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came
> across
>>was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser
> were
>>suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
>>assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO
>
>>COOL!Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I
> loaded
>>two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
> Nothing! I
>> was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
> button
>>AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time;I'd get the
> blue
>>arch of electricity darting back and forth between
>> the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to
> Toni
>>what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
>> Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself
> that
>>it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,.
> right?!!!
>>There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
> (trusting
>>little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I
> really
>>needed to try this thing out on a flesh &blood moving target. I must
> admit
>>I thought about zapping Gracie (for a
>> fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a
> sweet
>>cat. But, if I was going
>> to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a
> mugger,
>>I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I
> wrong? So,
>>there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top
>> with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my
>
>>nose,directions in one
>> hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second
> burst
>>would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was
> supposed
>>to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of
>> bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make
> your
>>assailant flop on the
>> ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three
>>seconds would be wasting the batteries.
>> All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about
> 5"
>>long,less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and
> loaded
>>with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to
>> myself, "no possible way!"What happened next is almost beyond
>>description, but
>> I'll do my best.....
>> I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head
> cocked to
>>one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second
>
>>burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I
>
>>decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I
>>touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and
>> HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!! I'm
> pretty
>>sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the
>
>>recliner, then body slammed us both on the
>> carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking
> up
>>on my side in the fetal
>> position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet,both nipples
> on
>>fire,
>> testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under
> my
>>body in
>> the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was
> standing
>>over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my
> face,
>>undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
>> Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a
> taser,
>>one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst
> when you
>>zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged
> from
>>your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second
> burst
>>would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like h*ll!!! A
>
>>minute or so later (I can't be
>> sure, as time was a relative thing at that point),collected my
> wits
>>(what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent
>>reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up
> get
>>there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still
> twitching. My
>>face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip
> weighed
>>88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles?
>> I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. Still
> in
>>shock,
>>
