Im a Bad Mommy

[Blair]

I havent paid much attention to Grey or Zeus since Diesel passed away. I hate to admit this but I just cant. And they really havent even come near me since this whole ordeal, I guess they can sense it. The only thing I want right now is to be ble to hold Diesel again, I really miss him. I do feel awful for not giving them attention but right now my heart is broken and I just cant give them attention, it hurts. I feel like such an awful mommy 

[longshadowfarms]

Not a bad mommy, just hurting.  I lost my Woo just in Nov.  There are times when I really appreciate the distraction of the other dogs and other times where I just want to be alone without the other dogs.  Sometimes I'll try to walk Eider but he just isn't Woo (Eider is timid and won't walk with me alone and certainly not in the dark) and I get frustrated with him so I'll bring him back home and go alone.   Diesel just died yesterday.  Don't beat yourself up about giving yourself time to heal.  Woo has been gone almost 3 months and I still have times when I bawl about it.

[aggghgmom]

Blair,

You are not a bad mommy; the love and sadness you are showing over the loss of your beloved Diesel only proves what a wonderful mother you are;  you other babies are also grieving and can probably tell that you need some space. 

I didn't see the first thread so I would like to express my deep condolences for your darling Dielsel - you were blessed to have each other  I'm very sorry.

Randy & Harley

[kristi]

oh Blair...
I agree with the others - it's still too new.

Dogs (& cats) are very sensitive to us & our feelings.  They know you can't do it right now, & they'll go to others in your family to get what they need.  They'll know when your ready.

I lost 2 of my cats in 9 months just last year - one (10yrs) had to be euthanized & the other (15yrs) I found in the morning after he past away.  There are still days that I feel guilty, sad, angry, lonely... even with the other 2 cats & Sampson.  It's just not the same.  They all have different personalities just like people.  We love them so much & regard them as family.  When we lose one it's just like losing a person.

You're not a bad Mommy - you're a normal Mommy.  Anyone who lives with & truly loves animals would be experiencing exactly the same feelings.  You've lost one of your "kids."  It's ok to act the way your acting & feel what you're feeling.  The other "kids" will understand - they will cope & come to terms with the loss in their own way too.

We're here for you...
Let us know what you need...
Big, big hugs...

[Mom2Sadie]

Oh Blair…
I don’t know you at all but I agree with what others are saying. You’re not a bad mommy at all. Take comfort in the fact that most, if not all, of us have been through what you’re going through and understand what you’re feeling and how bad it feels right now. In some ways I think it’s more painful initially to lose an animal than a person in our lives. With people our relationships are so complicated and there’s so much more to process when we lose them. With animals, it’s just about love.

Animals are smart and incredible intuitive when it comes to things like this. Your boys know you love them, and they probably also know that you need your space right now. They’re probably also going through their own grieving process. But they know how much you love them and on some level I believe they understand what you’re going through and what you need to do to get through it. This just happened, don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself some time to heal.

I’m so sorry again that you’re going through this. I’ve been there, and I know how hard it is. When I lost my last dog I understood for the first time what the term “broken heart” really means. But the fact that it hurts you so much only goes to show what a GOOD mommy you are. Please don’t beat yourself up. Lean on us when you need to.

BIG hugs

[Blair]

Now I know why I love this group. Thank you all. There are moments where I go off by myself to cry cause i dont want anyone to see me and think I am being silly about being so upset about losing Diesel  No one understands how I feel around here, so I am very thankful for having you guys to lean on.

[GrumpyBunny]

Honey Bunny, you KNOW you aren't a bad mommy. 

You are just mourning right now, and that is fine.  You need to let it take whatever form it needs to, and you need to let it take however long it needs to.  God, Cabo has been gone from me for almost 2 years now, and there are still weeks that I cry every day for missing him.  Right after I lost him, I didn't even want to LOOK at Gwen, let alone pet her or pay attention to her... 

It is normal right now to be focused on what you lost, and for your sadness to override everything else.  This JUST happened.  You loved him for years, you can't get over it in a day, and no one should expect you to do so.  You need time to heal a bit.  Pretty soon Grey will do something silly and make you laugh, and Zeus will come and plop his big ole' head on your lap and even though you will still be sad, you will be taken away from your sadness for a minutes, and things will feel just a bit better. 

If nothing else, even just the fact that you are concerned about being a bad mommy shows that you are not...