Author Topic: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all  (Read 22124 times)

Offline shangrila

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2006, 10:21:59 am »
Have you talked to anyone at Tufts Veterinary about Zoey?

Yes, we have taken Zoey to tufts, though not recently. They told me they only do reduced rates on shelter dogs. But even if money wasn't an issue (which is deffinately is - Dan recently lost his job and I am in the bottom ranks of the public school system), I still do not think I would want to put zoey through a hip replacement. They told us that they would have to do each hip seperately, which is two painful surgeries and two painful 3 month recoveries. Zoey hates being confined and I would hate to have her confined and in pain for 6 months.

Two things that we have not tried yet are the injections and gold bead implants. I couldn't find anyone in the area that performs them, but I am going to look again.

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful and heartfelt replies. I appreciate them. I know that I am not ready to give up on zoey yet, but I want to be prepared so that I know when the right time is. I don't want her to suffer any longer than she needs to, and I also don't want her life any shorter than it needs to be.... I guess one of the things I am afraid of is that if I don't know where to draw the line I will not make the decision at the right time. The only time I have faced this before is with my cat frisky. She was terribly ill but we kept holding on to her. When we finally realized that it might be too much for her and took her back to the vet, she had a heart attack and died in my sisters arms while they carried her out of our house on the way to the vet. She stopped us from having to make the decision, but it turns out that we should have let her go months earlier and she was suffering. I don't want that to happen to zoey. But I also want her to stick around as long as possible. I am just trying to prepare myself for the decision so I know when is the right time to let go. Some people have said that she is obviously suffering because we have to help her stand up sometimes, but others only see her on her good days and don't understand why this would even be a thought.
I don't want to think about the 'rainbow bridge' anymore than I have to, but I want to be prepared to make the decision when the time comes because right now it is hard for me to think about the possibility of it, and if I don't prepare myself mentally I will never be able to handle it when the time comes.

I am hoping and praying that her good days outweigh her bad days for years to come
RIP former BPO

Offline kkmuller

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2006, 10:35:19 am »
Have you talked to anyone at Tufts Veterinary about Zoey?


Two things that we have not tried yet are the injections and gold bead implants. I couldn't find anyone in the area that performs them, but I am going to look again.

I don't know where you live.  If you find someone who can treat Zoey near Westchester, NY you are welcome to stay here.  We have a guest room and seperate bath.  There are no dogs in the house yet. (We're waiting on an AM)
I know at this time you want to do anything you can.

Offline newflvr

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2006, 10:43:57 am »
I had to do it twice a year and a half ago and there is just nothing harder.  Otis had a hip replacement at a year and had a great couple of years before his spine collapsed. It was the worst decision I've ever had to make.  But it was clear that there was no choice.  It makes me cry, now, just to think of it but I loved/love him so much that the thought of what he'd been going through just broke my heart.  Lucille, my female Newf, got ITP (immune mediated thrombocyctope nia) from her immunizations and although we fought it for five months, she had no immune system left....she got a fungus which attacked her heart.  That last night with her in my arms struggling for each breath....agai n, no question.   Oh poop...lots of tears here...and Cowboy is trying to lick them!! lol!

Anyway, just like everybody has said...you have to weigh the good days against the bad ones.  And, to lighten this just a touch, when I took Lucille in, they stablized her (drew fluid from around her heart) hoping against hope that she could fight it.  It became obvious that it wasn't going to work, my wonderful vet went in to the break room and brought out the biggest piece of gooey chocolate cake you've ever seen! and gave it to her.  When it was all over, we all decided that is how we wanted to go...with all those that we loved around us and chocolate frosting on our muzzles!

Offline longshadowfarms

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2006, 10:48:34 am »
My experience with these big schools (I'm near Cornell and have had a fair amount of opportunity to try this out) is whether or not there is a need for research in the area where you need help.  Unfortuately hip dysplasia isn't really one of those big need areas.
Daphne

Offline Mom2Sadie

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2006, 10:58:31 am »
My experience with these big schools (I'm near Cornell and have had a fair amount of opportunity to try this out) is whether or not there is a need for research in the area where you need help.  Unfortuately hip dysplasia isn't really one of those big need areas.

Yeah, I was thinking that too, just thought it might be worth a shot to ask. My experience was only with Oncology. They really should be doing more research in that area though considering how many otherwise healthy dogs are horribly affected by hip dysplasia.
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Offline Nina

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2006, 11:34:44 am »
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is so hard. I think about Dilbert every day, I know that we did the right thing, but it still hurts so much. We tried everything that we could to save him, but he knew it was time to go, and through his actions, told us that he had to go.
My parents had a cat that they had to pts, he was severly diabetic and he stopped eating drinking and didn't move off the couch. Again he told us that it was time to go. What made it a little easier( but not really) was that he was 12 and he lived a wonderful life.
It is never easy, but I think that you and Zoey will know when it is time.

Nina
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Dilbert(Pyr mix)At the bridge
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Offline kkmuller

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2006, 11:40:25 am »
"Two things that we have not tried yet are the injections and gold bead implants. I couldn't find anyone in the area that performs them, but I am going to look again."
I don't know where you live but I'm in the Westchester, NY area.  If you find someone here who can help you; You're welcome to stay at my house.  We have a large guest room with a seperate bath.  We have no dogs yet, we're waiting on an AM.
I know this can be a very difficult time.  I hope you find what you need.

Offline newflvr

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #22 on: March 21, 2006, 11:42:19 am »
I know University of Florida Vet school did a gold bead study...maybe you could call them for a referral?

Offline hairprincessnyu

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #23 on: March 21, 2006, 11:49:35 am »
I am so sorry about, your baby, that must be really tough. Last January we lost our Aussie who we had for 14 years. It was really difficult. But he let us know when it was his time to go. We kept wondering how we would know, and when he was having trouble breating, the vet said it was time. The only thing I can suggest (and you have probably already tried it) is buffered asprin. We had our Aussie on it for a while, and it did seem to help a little bit. Hang in there. I know it is tough, sending my thoughts and prayers your way.
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Offline brandon

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #24 on: March 21, 2006, 11:54:16 am »
May be able to find a vet that does accupuncture and/or gold beads close to you with one of these searches.

Search for Certified Veterinary Acupuncturist
http://www.ivas.org/member_search.cfm

Traditional Chinese Veterinary Medicine
http://www.chi-institute.com/

American Veterinary Chiropractic Association Doctors
http://www.avcadoctors.com/avcadus.htm
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

Offline marinafb

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #25 on: March 21, 2006, 12:14:02 pm »
Unfortunately we all at one point must make these decisions for our beloved pets. It’s a tough decision to make and there are plenty of factors to weigh out. Two years ago I had to put my lab down he was 17 years old he was in quite a bit of pain it got to the point where he couldn’t get up on his own. Since he was in so much pain if you tried to help him get up he would bite you. That was not fair to him to let him live like that we did everything we could for him to make him comfortable but the bottom line was he was suffering. One year after he was gone our smooth fox terrier became very ill and stopped eating he had a large tumor on his side and he to was in much pain. He to had given us 12 years of his life but I could not stand by and watch him suffer. Now my ex has one member of his dog family left she is a six-year-old Dalmatian and I know she misses playing with her brothers but she sure gets all the attention now. I have three of my own and they are my family the give me hope to keep going every day! I love this site I read about your dogs and the stories you have to tell you see the beautiful pictures that you have taken of your dogs and I love it! They are so much a part of our lives it ‘s never an easy decision to make but in your heart you will know. We will be praying for your family and zoey.  Marina Mother to Bryce-Freya-Milo
Freya-9 years collie shepard mix
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Offline macybean

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #26 on: March 21, 2006, 09:30:34 pm »
Wow. I'm sobbing.

My 18-year-old cat that I had from the age of 3 was getting up to the point where my mom was going to have to decide (I was away from home in college). One morning, right around my graduation, he had a seizure. My sister was home from school with my mom. Tiggy couldn't get up, so they took him in and sat with him while it happened.

I begged my parents to put a gerbil of mine to sleep when I was about 14. He had begun to eat his skin on his stomach and then his organs. My dad wanted to do it some other way, but I begged them to take him to the vet. They did.

Last spring, my wonderful baby Sammy came to tell us. Sammy was a semi-feral cat whom we took in at 4-m-o. He had lived behind a bar, been named by the regulars, and been fed who knows what. He was the only one of maybe 20 ferals there that would let people pet him just a little (we also took his sister who ended up being a snuggler once caught, though still skittish). Anyway, we kept his name and had a heck of a time finding the "right" home for him and Wicky. People don't usually want to wait for a cat to warm up to them. Shortly after I got Sadie, I noticed Sammy was losing some weight. Thinking that he was probably scared of Sadie and eating less to avoid being near her, I moved their food and kept watching him. His weight had fluctuated before, so I wasn't too concerned, just watchful.

One day, we were sitting on our couch talking about something and Sammy came up behind us and sat right between us on the back of the couch. He normally didn't get that close with more than one person around (actually, he normally only got that close to me; he loved being pet at 2am when I'd wake up to go to the bathroom... he'd hurry back and jump on the bed ahead of me, making me stand to pet him for a while before I got in bed). I knew something was up with just that. I looked at him and he was breathing hard with his mouth open and he had this look. I can't explain it. A cry for help, I think.

We rushed him to the vet with his sister. He was down to 5 pounds from 7 (he was a very small cat). They ran some tests but couldn't tell that anything was going on. They decided to take some xrays and sent us home. They had me pay a deposit; it was a new vet who didn't know us (we use that vet for all of our fosters). I remember paying and he was in the backroom behind held by this tech. He had to hold him by the scruff as he carried him against his chest, because he didn't like being carried. Sammy looked terrified.

Not ten minutes later, driving home, we got a call from the vet. I knew immediately. They'd tried to do the xrays and he started foaming from the mouth and died. I still feel awful for not being there. He didn't trust people. I should have been there. They did an autopsy and didn't see anything that really stood out. The vet felt responsible, I think, and spent a lot of extra time on him. She sent off some tissue and fluids and the lab said he had a congenital heart problem.

I'm already wordy tonight and now this... lol... It's kind of theraputic. You'll know. If it comes to that, she will tell you. I will keep you both in my thoughts.

Offline cuttles/sadieMay

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #27 on: March 21, 2006, 11:23:49 pm »

I I knew right then that it was wrong to let him do that.  He laid down in his favorite spot at home and put his head in my lap, looked into my eyes and then he went to sleep forever.  He looked so peaceful and painfree.

I know that I did the right thing...No one else can tell you when the right time is. You *will* know.  After, I had horrible doubts.  "Did I do the right thing?  What else could I have done?  Would waiting another day have been better"  Did I wait too long?".  Those will pass, I promise. Some have told me I waited too long, some say I should've waited longer.  But only Porter and I know that the timing was just right.   And that's okay by me.

Take care, Heather. I'm thinking of you...
Julie
Oh My! You couldnt have explained it better! Every emotion that you might feel is written right here! Im sobbing so much thinking back to the day that Sadie went to the bridge, and everyone here is so right that you will see it in Zoey's eyes and she will let you know!
Good luck Heather! My heart is breaking for you right now!  :'(
Carole

Offline Mom2Sadie

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #28 on: March 23, 2006, 12:17:06 pm »
Heather,

How's Zoey doing?  I've been thinking of you guys a lot...I'm a little out of the loop...Have you all thought about surgery options?  How about Adequine/Cosequine?  Jackie's hips are bad, too, so I started looking for options a while ago. I've heard AMAZING things about Adequine and Cosequine. 

Are you holding up okay?  I hope so...
Julie

Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing. How's everyone doing over there?
Dear Lord,
Just for today, let me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

Shawna
Sadie the Newf
Gus and Maggie - Maine Coon Kitties
Lady the Boxer waiting at the bridge

Offline shangrila

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Re: A question for those that have made the hardest choice of all
« Reply #29 on: March 23, 2006, 02:57:22 pm »
We are doing okay. Zoey is actually having a fantastic day today. Dan says she was whining a lot this afternoon, but she has been good since I got home (it was a half day so I got home really early today) and we even took a nice stroll around the park and she went straight to sleep fterwards but didn't seem too sore.

I am hoping I won't loose her anytime very soon, but I do worry that it will happen in the next year. The other day was so bad that I was terrified she was going to go soon, but it seems like she has rebounded from that low point and now she is back to her normal only-slightly-hurt self.
RIP former BPO