Author Topic: Things just all happen at once, don't they?  (Read 5255 times)

Offline macybean

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Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« on: March 23, 2006, 05:19:23 am »
Where to start? I don't want to be one of those "bad" pet owners who has to rehome an animal, because of something they could have fixed.

I've gotten myself into a mess and need to get out. I've been up since 4am, and I think I'm thinking pretty clearly. I don't know.

Here is goes: My ex-bf and I took in and fostered cats. Hence the two cats that I posted about yesterday. My landlord found out that I had them and that, along with some mess that my bank caused (all happening at once), has driven me to go ahead and move. Things are still in the air though, b/c the person I was going to move in with is having his own issues.

I currently have two dogs-Sadie and Riley-and three cats of my own-Turbo, Thomas, and Bevo. My mom was supposed to take two of the cats originally (several years ago), but my dad wouldn't agree then.

I am now looking at a complicated situation. I may need to move into an apartment that only allows two pets. That said, I could probably cover 2 cats or even 3 for a while. I think between my parents and my sister, I can have one or two of the cats stay with them (or they may even take them in now... my dad has softened, hehe).

My financial situation since last fall has also become a mess. I was trying to buy a place, was told that dogs (even big dogs) were okay, and then was left to scramble for a place in 3 days time when I found out they weren't (I was due to close that week). I told Riley's breeder that I would likely be in a place without a yard but near a dog park that I had found. I explained my situation, and even cancelled taking Riley. When I did, she mailed part of my money back to me. I think it was a little over half after the cancelled plane ticket, but I'd moved and my mail wasn't being forwarded yet (a whole other issue). She received the check back and emailed me. She said that Riley was still available and that she had been hoping I would take him. She wasn't having trouble moving the puppies, so I didn't take it as a plea or something. We started talking again (we had talked for several months prior to this), and I agreed to adopt him. I paid for his flight again, and she sent him. I think part of me knew it wasn't the best decision, financially or considering my living situation (renting).

On top of all of this, I have met with several trainers recently trying to stop Sadie and Riley from wrestling around. I know they are playing, but Riley is starting to be able to really hurt Sadie. Sadie's a tough little cookie, but it's gotten to the point where he has her crying. I do time-outs, long sits, crate time... They still want to go at it often, though. Riley doesn't do this with any other dog (Sadie provokes it normally), and Sadie does it to a much lesser to degree with a few other dogs (to the point where it's safe wrestling... does that make sense?). I've been concerned and talking to my vet, who says with their size difference it could be an issue in the future. This is something that I think training can solve, but it does play a part in what I need to decide.

I have been rescuing animals since I was 19. I'll be 25 next week, so it's not that I'm all that seasoned, I guess, but I hate it when people give up their pets for "dumb" reasons (left it in the backyard and decided they didn't want to make time for it, it got too big, they didn't train it, etc.). I don't want to be one of those people, but I also know that I can't move around with 5 pets. People are pet-friendly here, but that's pushing it. I also adopted Riley last, and as much as I love him, I have a commitment to Sadie and the cats first. This is killing me to say this, but financially and with my living situation, I don't know if I can keep him. I'm a wreck. I don't know what to do, but I have found myself in a situation where I do not know how well I can take care of him (and the fosters that I am now placing). I feel like such a failure. I want to do what is best for my pets first and foremost, though, and moving around ahead of landlords who are going to eventually find out isn't the right thing, neither is not being able to afford things like more extensive training or doggy daycare (I know it's not a must, but both of my dogs get a bit anxious when I leave and it would be good for them) or "extras".

Have any of you had to go through this kind of thing-rehoming a pet? I feel like one the people that bug me with their crazy reasons and stuff. I know there are legitimate reasons that some people have, but I don't know if I feel like mine are. I feel like I should get out of this myself, but I don't really see how.

Okay, thank you for letting me ramble, and if anyone has been through this and has any words of wisdom, please let me know. Or if there is something I'm not seeing, please tell me. I feel like my mind is moving at 180 miles per hour.

Offline greek4

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2006, 07:52:41 am »
Would it help if someone fostered Riley for you for a while?  I would be willing to take him in for a while.  I know whatever decision you have to make everyone will be supportive.
Thanks,

Emily and 1 husband, 1 boy, 1 on the way, and 4 crazy dogs

Offline mal-coholic

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2006, 08:12:15 am »
Sorry...

Where do you live? I could try to re-home Sadie here with us, but i suppose the transport would be a problem. We live in Romania and my mom is nuts about me moving away with Carlos, and the home left empty etc. So she want another dog, a female. She likes mals but I just know that a smaller dog would be better, since she's not getting any younger. If you consider this as an option, you should know that Sadie would have her own yard and a loving family. Please let me know how this sounds because I would have to consult with my mother first to see what is her opinion.
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Offline macybean

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2006, 08:26:54 am »
I wouldn't be rehoming Sadie-I can find a situation with one dog; I'd have to rehome Riley if I did this.

I live in Austin, TX. I have a friend who loves him to death and may take him if I asked. I don't know. I just feel so lost right now. I'm not in a rush with him (with the foster cats I am more pressed for time-those are the two I posted about yesterday).

I just feel like such a mess up for not being able to work everything out right now. I love Riley and can't imagine doing this, but I want to give him the best shot, too. Right now, I'm just not sure that's with me.

« Last Edit: March 23, 2006, 08:28:17 am by macybean »

Offline macybean

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2006, 08:29:03 am »
Would it help if someone fostered Riley for you for a while?  I would be willing to take him in for a while.  I know whatever decision you have to make everyone will be supportive.

That might be an option. I'm not sure when I'd be in a living situation where I could take him back. It would be great if I could find something now, but it's not going well.

Offline mal-coholic

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2006, 08:48:58 am »
I can't help with the cats ... Carlos would shake them up ... he's really not a fan. I hope U didn't get upset for proposing to take in Sadie, but at the moment we are trying to find the right dog for our home, and I was thinking I'd be helping u out too. And we'd take a female because Carlos would still spend a lot of time around, since we're moving out only 3 houses away.

I know things don't always turn out to be the way we want, but hang on! The sun will rise up for u!
 :)

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Offline chaos270

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2006, 08:56:42 am »
If I lived closer I'd foster him for you but I'm up in CT. I know it has to be a hard decision to make.  What about his breeder?  She may be able to help you out too.  But if you're still stuck with nobody closer I could probably convince my parents to take him in for awhile.  Our vet has two Saints that visit frequently.

And remember you are NOT a bad furparent.  You're doing what's best for them and yourself.  Hopefully it'll all work out for you.
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Offline greek4

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2006, 11:10:27 am »
I would be willing to take Riley for a while or forever, whatever you need.  My roommate and I have been throwing around the idea of getting another dog and we looked at Saints, Mastiffs, and Newfs.  I'm sure we could get him from TX to IL.
Thanks,

Emily and 1 husband, 1 boy, 1 on the way, and 4 crazy dogs

Offline macybean

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2006, 12:05:09 pm »
I'm sorry-I didn't mean to sound like I was upset. I was thinking, "I knew I was tired when I posted, but did I write the wrong name?"

Sadie is a rescue dog and came out of a bad home. I don't think I could bring myself to adopt her out. I've had her longer, too, and I feel like I owe it to her to be fair about this. She's my sidekick. I love Riley, but he'll adapt to another dog situation much easier than Sadie will and he's younger and was here later. I guess that's how I'm reconciling it in my head, anyway. :(

Greek4-We should talk. I will pm you later. At the moment, I need to try to straighten out the housing situation first, but I need to work on this, too. I don't mean this to sound weird, but I want to make sure that I'm giving him to the "right" person-not that you aren't a great pet owner or anything like that. He's just one of my babies, you know? I would definitely be interested in talking to you about what you're looking for and you're situation. :)

Nicole

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2006, 03:18:20 pm »
Hi. I'm SO not trying to stir up anything...but doesn't your breeder have a contract that you return him if anything happens?

Offline macybean

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2006, 05:31:49 pm »
Yes, she will take him, but no, I didn't sign a contract saying that. She didn't even say I had to bring him back, but it was an option. She just had three litters in February (all three that she planned for the year, I believe). I don't necessarily think she would have the time to place him in the best home. Plus, the more I think about it, the more I question how good of a breeder she is. That's a whole other topic, though. I do have her as a fall back, I think. I've done rescue before, and I think I would feel more comfortable placing him myself if it comes to that. If I felt more comfortable giving him back or if it was in a contract, then I would.

I'm trying to work this out. I keep debating, going back and forth.


Nicole

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #11 on: March 23, 2006, 05:38:16 pm »
Ahhh, Ok. I just wanted to throw that out there. I wasn't trying to be provacative. I know its a stressful situation to be in, and I thought maybe with having a gazillion other things on your mind maybe you forgot or...I don't know...

I respect you trying to do what's very best! That's great. Especially if you find her to be a questionable breeder.

Offline macybean

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2006, 08:00:21 pm »
Oh, no problem, Nicole. I think she's a decent breeder, but I don't think she's top of the line. She didn't have me do a contract, either.

Anyway, I'm home with my furkids, hanging out, and planning ahead now. Thank you for your support. It gives me knot in my stomach to think of giving him up. :( We'll see how things go. There are quite a few factors here, all of which should hit in the next few weeks. Argh.

Gypsy Jazmine

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2006, 09:01:48 pm »
The best I can do for you is send best hopes & prayers...One of my biggest fears is somehow loosing our home & not being able to keep all of our fur friend...This has to be tearing you apart...I am sorry about the situation you are facing. :'(

Offline Leah...

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Re: Things just all happen at once, don't they?
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2006, 10:08:26 pm »
i would have to ask my family, but maybe i could just take care of (foster) a cat or 2 for you. they are harder to find a place for generally speaking. don't worry, the fact that you are thinking of this now, and not on moving day says you are a good pet owner. hope i may be able to help! BTW, i am in Albuquerque NM so it isn't very far.

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