Well, I am SUPPOSED to be working, but...
When I was younger (thinner and cuter, too!), I lived in a not so great part of town. Not horrible, ghetto-bad - just kind of run down and shabby, but a real "neighborhood" and I liked it. Yes, there were some homeless guys around, and some gangs liked to hang out on the street corners, and people felt free to use illegal drugs right out on the streets, but, hey, nothing bad ever happened to me. Ahh, to be young and stupid again.
So, one night it was late and I had the urge for chocolate. No, I NEEDED chocolate. Right then. You know it goes.
I decide that I will walk up to the 7-11 around the corner and procure some candy. Well, I am not dressed all that great, but who wants to get dressed up to go to 7-11 at like midnight, right? So, I have on a v-neck t-shirt. I am not wearing a bra (this will be key later), and I have no desire to put one on.
I decide to take the dog (not Cabo, he would never do this to his mommy! This was before him) with me. Jester and I head out and as we get to the 7-11, I notice that there is a big group of thuggy gang-type guys hanging out in front. Well, alright, I will just pretend to be invisible and wrap my little button-front sweater more tightly around me to camoflauge my lack of bra as I slink through the center of the group.
Usually, if there were not too many people inside, I would normally just take Jester into the 7-11 with me, but for some reason it was the place to be that night. Since I was literally going in for like 2.5 seconds, I decided it would be okay to leave Jester outside (I know, I don't do it anymore. See above comment about young and stupid). I tie him to the news rack thingy, ask the gang guys to keep an eye on him, and pop in. I come out with my bulging bag full of candy in one hand and unwrap this leash with the other. At this point, he decides he is overwhelmingly happy to see his mommy and jumps up on me. Since I don't have a free hand to stop him he jumps all the way up on me, and on the way down, he gets his paw caught in the v-neck of my t-shirt. This. combined with this weight and downward momentum, causes the neck of the t-shirt to rip and pull until it is all the way down around my waist. I am aware of a sudden suspicious amount of cool night air on my boobs, and look down to see that they are both fully exposed.
At that point, everything went black and all I could hear was all the gang members shouting "Good boy...good, good doggy!"
Stories of this nature? Unfortunately - I got a million of 'em.